How can I initiate a date?
I speak for myself and many others here when I say that the hardest part about relationships is getting started. That's the whole reason why I haven't been in that many. I'll be 20 next year, and I'm getting too old to be almost "dateless", but I'm not desperate. If there's two things that annoy me about dating, they would be finding where to meet the potential date, and how to ask someone on a date. I tend to over-analyze dates, so maybe I should just relax and let things flow naturally. If you have any feedback on this subject, feel free to post it here. Thanks!
Perhaps you could meet women (or at least a woman) who you're interested in, by joining an interest group locally ?
Really though, I think this part of things can be a problem for many people if they're not into picking up the opposite gender in a bar or else "pulling" in night clubs.
As far as asking people out goes, I think it would be fine to do a little bit of getting to know somebody first and then say something like "would you like to go and do X together, sometime ?"
It might help if it's something you've talked about during the "getting to know each other a little bit" stage, and found that you both like.
For example, if you both like fantasy films then if one is on at the cinema, you could say "I saw that [Fantasy Film] is on at the cinema this week. Would you be interested in going to see that together some time ?"
A good "where", at a park, either walking a friendly [and hopefully super cute] dog, or borrowing a friends adorable child and taking them to the park.[ do not pretend the child is yours, you are just a nice guy giving a mom a break] Women will initiate the conversation by commenting on the cuteness. You respond, and then ask an open-ended question in return. And smile. This is an excellent way to meet another person. The ONLY drawback is that the dog or child will probably make it difficult to segue the conversation into an impromptu cup of coffee and pastry at a coffee shop [ which, of course, you pay for]
Become a regular [ you need the fresh air and excercize anyway] and if you are pleasant [and not creepy] and make your appearance somewhat attractive, you will soon have women expecting you.
of course, after a while, you will miss a few days in a row. Hopefully,you will be asked where you have been. You might even be told you have been missed. This might be a good day that the dog and child are at home. Okay, maybe it's time for coffee. OR, If food is being sold by vendors in the park, that could be good.
Asking "Do you like coffee [or ice cream or whatever] is preferable to "Do you want coffee?" If they say no, okay, don't worry about that. If they say yes, and there is a vendor nearby, ask "do you like cream and sugar?" or "chocolate or vanilla," as you amble to the vendors cart. And remember, you pay.
Really though, I think this part of things can be a problem for many people if they're not into picking up the opposite gender in a bar or else "pulling" in night clubs.
As far as asking people out goes, I think it would be fine to do a little bit of getting to know somebody first and then say something like "would you like to go and do X together, sometime ?"
It might help if it's something you've talked about during the "getting to know each other a little bit" stage, and found that you both like.
For example, if you both like fantasy films then if one is on at the cinema, you could say "I saw that [Fantasy Film] is on at the cinema this week. Would you be interested in going to see that together some time ?"
Aha! But the bar scene brings up an interesting point: Aren't the wrong kind of people going to go there? But I understand the rest of what you're saying.
Some of the best places to approach and meet women are where they normally wouldn't expect to be approached by men (i.e. shopping mall, book store, library etc.). It sounds silly but you can just walk up to them and say something like 'I just thought you looked beautiful, so I wanted to say hello' and they will probably love it!
This is much better than the 'clubbing scene' as not only are you more likely to meet women who are slightly more down to earth, but you are also more likely to form a more genuine connection (less doof doof and alcohol interfeering).
I am a dating/life coach and one of the things I tell my clients all the time is that a movie is a terrible idea for a first date! Because a first date should be all about getting to know each other, and you can't really do that while watching a movie. So you will most likely end up feeling awkward sitting next to eachother for couple of hours.
Dinner dates can also be a bit formal so I reccommend just taking her somewhere pretty for a walk, or somewhere fun like the arcade! This allows you both to relax as much as possible and get to know each other in a fun way.
I hope this helps! Feel free to ask me any more specific questions you have as I do this for a living
Also check out my website if you like, I post a lot of articles and video tutorials on general social skills + specifically dating
This is much better than the 'clubbing scene' as not only are you more likely to meet women who are slightly more down to earth, but you are also more likely to form a more genuine connection (less doof doof and alcohol interfeering).
I am a dating/life coach and one of the things I tell my clients all the time is that a movie is a terrible idea for a first date! Because a first date should be all about getting to know each other, and you can't really do that while watching a movie. So you will most likely end up feeling awkward sitting next to eachother for couple of hours.
Dinner dates can also be a bit formal so I reccommend just taking her somewhere pretty for a walk, or somewhere fun like the arcade! This allows you both to relax as much as possible and get to know each other in a fun way.
I hope this helps! Feel free to ask me any more specific questions you have as I do this for a living
Also check out my website if you like, I post a lot of articles and video tutorials on general social skills + specifically dating
unluse they are already in a relationship in which case they get mad or their bf does. I see know where to know if a woman is already taken or not.
In most situations it is really quite hard to know whether a woman is taken without finding out through conversation.
The way to stop her getting mad is by approaching her simply with a compliment and saying that you wanted to talk to her 'I really like your hair, it just made me want to say hello', before you even mention that you 'want' something (like her number, or a date).
This gives her a chance to tell you whether she is taken or not, without it being very awkward.
Most women will be extremely pleased with this out of the blue compliment (it makes them feel good about themselves), and they will appreciate that you had courage to take time to approach her (it makes you stand out in a really positive way).
Also, most women will respect you more for taking the time to learn something about her before asking for a date.
As for avoiding angry boyfriends, I wouldn't approach women that are with a man.
I hope this helps!
goldfish21
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Since most of us communicate better via text than in person, I highly recommend using an online dating site or posting a personal ad somewhere. It's really quite easy to post simple ad, wait for a response, email back and forth a few times & then arrange to meet someone somewhere sometime to do something.
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Oh, whenever I have been on the receiving end of something like that, it's made me feel so uncomfortable I've wanted to crawl into a hole and die. But, it's a given that not all women are like me, so take that with a grain of salt, I suppose.
Besides the obvious ring check, you can sometimes get a sense of her relationship status by seeing what's in her shopping cart at the grocery store (frozen meals for one?) or what type of laundry she is folding at the laundromat (just her stuff and no men's clothing?), but that can get kind of dicey.
I never know when to move it to meeting in person. may be the reason for some of them ending.
goldfish21
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Age: 42
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I never know when to move it to meeting in person. may be the reason for some of them ending.
Quite possibly.
Make it a goal to move email conversation to an in person meeting request within x# of emails/messages. Say, maybe 5 for example. Or if you're having a quick back and forth email conversation, maybe you'd extend it to 10. But there's usually not really any reason not to suggest an in person meeting in the first 3-5 emails or messages.
People lose interest if it's just text conversation back and forth. I've seen several personal ads state that they are not interested in endless emails and are looking to meet someone in person vs. email back and forth. This lets others know to include all relevant information in the first email or two, and that you're serious about getting together and seeing if you click vs. just browsing, or collecting pics of people, or only interested in email conversation etc.
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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
Do not do this. Women get hit on and harassed all the time. It isn't fun or flattering and they don't need you adding to the mix.
Don't go on a woman-hunt, either. We don't enjoy being hunted.
Women, being people, are likely to be found in your workplace, local social groups, etc. Since we are, you know, people, we engage in conversation and do people-like things. If you know how to make friends, you can make friends with women as well as with men. If you have a woman friend you'd like to get to know better and feel some attraction to, you can ask her on a date. It's easy. You go like this:
"Would you like to go out for dinner sometime?"
or
"I was thinking about going to the [concert, community event, other thing]. Would you be interested in coming with me?"
...and see from there how well you like each other before you get worried about kisses and sex and dating and the rest. You'll see a lot of talk on here involving games, as if you have to strategize a women into being your girlfriend -- it's all nonsense. Just be respectful and open and you'll be fine. If particular women aren't interested, it's not because you're playing dating-chess wrong. Most people won't be interested. It's fine.
goldfish21
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Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 42
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Do not do this. Women get hit on and harassed all the time. It isn't fun or flattering and they don't need you adding to the mix.
Somehow I doubt that most women would react negatively to a compliment. You might, but don't assume all women will.
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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.