Please give your opinion on what you think my date was askin

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businezguy
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05 Jul 2014, 11:52 pm

So I went on a first date tonight from eharmony and I think the date went well. We live a fair distance away from each other, and while she offered to meet me somewhere halfway I told her it was fine and drove the distance to a restaurant in her area. The distance was such I was thinking of maybe getting a hotel room to spend the night and then drive back in the afternoon after I looked around for a bit since I don't get into the city often.

So my date and I ate and drank for over two hours, and I thought it was a good sign that we had a drink prior to dinner, the dinner itself, and dessert. It seemed like we were both looking to extend the length of the date to talk more and get to know each other.

Anyway, my date had a lot of stuff to carry including some flowers I bought her, so I took her to go bag for her and carried it out to her car. Then she asked if I was going to drive home tonight or spend the night "here" meaning the city. So my question is, at the time I assumed she meant was I going to get a room and spend the night in the city because of the long travel time home. Do you think she meant that, or do you think she wanted to spend the night with me?



tarantella64
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06 Jul 2014, 12:30 am

probably she was asking politely, since it's a long drive late. If she'd wanted to stay with you she'd likely have suggested it, but it's as well she didn't.

Glad you had such a good time -



SoftwareEngineer
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06 Jul 2014, 12:44 am

She probably was hinting for you to stay with her. But, I've been in the same situation and, on a later occasion, she outright asked me to stay at her place. I'm betting she is really impressed that you drove and she's looking forward to your next date. So, I'd say you handled the situation within the normal range and you should be optimistic.



vickygleitz
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06 Jul 2014, 1:20 am

Sounds like a good date to me.



The_Face_of_Boo
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06 Jul 2014, 2:08 am

Don't wait too long, ask her out again the next day.



886
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06 Jul 2014, 6:25 am

Who cares? It didn't happen. If there's a second date, feel free to be more relaxed and flirt a bit more, see where it leads. She could have, but nothing materialized, so just look at it as future opportunity - but don't go into it expecting anything.


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businezguy
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06 Jul 2014, 8:29 am

Thanks for all of the support!

I agree, it was a good date and I enjoyed it. When I got home I texted her to ask her for another date because I was afraid that if I did mix up signals, she might think I wasn't interested. I haven't heard I response, but she might have been in bed and it's early in the morning today. As much as I enjoyed the date and as much as I think she did too, I even have to hold out the possibility she's not interested in seeing me again. Okay, so that's me running the gamut of concerns from she's interested to she's not, but all of this is because I stink at reading signals.

As for not caring because nothing happened, I'm really just trying to learn about signals women give so i can be more effective at the dating scene. She is very pretty and very interesting, and we seem to have a lot in common, so I'd like to understand her more as well.

Thanks again for your support!



businezguy
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06 Jul 2014, 10:32 am

Yay! So she messaged me back and said thanks for the dinner and the flowers, she had a good time, and she'd like to see me again.

So there you go. Another successful dating experience from a clueless Aspie. I may have no idea about signals and may not be able to read between the lines, but gosh darn it, I can listen and talk a lot and act like I know what I'm doing.

I've really excited. I haven't dated for a long time, and I've viewed dating as a necessary evil to get a relationship. Now perhaps I view it as an opportunity. :D