I am 28.
There was a young woman at my church I fancied. I had two picnics with her by the river (we were alone). The first
was Chinese takeout, the second I made myself. By the second picnic I decided she was the one. The thing is, we
agreed to just going out at friends, initially. I thought it was a friend zone situation. My best girlfriend (platonic),
encouraged me to ask her out. I walked her out to a tree, gave her a dozen cookies, got down, told her she was
an amazing woman and I wanted to start dating her. She said she was not ready for a relationship, I spoke with a
pen pal who said that is Female English for (I'm not into you/I don't know I like you in that way) I gave her a few weeks.
I asked to hang out with her another time (it was fathers day, she had plans). And then two weeks later she said she had plans
that week. I asked the week after that, she said she was willing to hang out with me, but only if we went out with a bunch
of other singles. (My pen pal told me that this meant she is a little uncomfortable with me. I actually asked her out!
The rejection was not fun by any means, but I appreciate her honesty. It is better than serial avoiding/ My grandmother is in town,
My dog is sick, I am not feeling well.) Part of my struggle is that the wheels of social interaction are greased with dishonesty. I
do not know what I can take at face value and what I cannot. I am not gay, but in terms of gender, I feel I have more in common with
women than men. This is evidenced by the fact that I have male acquaintances and female friends. I have tried to hang out with
other men, but I don't feel like I jive with them.
01 Jul 2014, 11:14 am
