WTF is up with this "entitled to sex" meme?

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Just to make this clear, I recently got a girlfriend. I don't know how I did it, but I did. However, despite my recent bit of good luck, the dating scene still sucks and this thread is about another thing that sucks about it.

I hate this "entitled to sex" meme. A guy can't want sex just a little bit without being branded with "you feel entitled to sex". There is a whole spectrum of asexuality and "feeling entitlement towards sex" and most guys being accused of being entitled for sex, are simply just not quite all the way at the asexual end. So yes, it's a false dichotomy. In fact dating lingo is full of false dichotomies.

Do you mean to say it isn't a real thing at all, or that it is overapplied?

Not sure I follow. Men and women can both want sex without feeling entitled to it. It's actually quite easy to pull off.

We are pretty quick to apply the "Stop thinking you're entitled to sex" line to anyone who complains about not getting any. It's not fair to those who really just want to understand what they're doing wrong, if anything, to be denied this large part of the human experience. But 'entitled' is how too many guys feel about it, that sex is just like air and water and food and the fact that they're alive means they're owed it by someone or something. I agree it's painting with a broad brush to call anyone who wants sex entitled, but when you come on here apropos of nothing and start complaining that girls are b*****s who just want rich guys who are jerks to them and I'm so nice why isn't it working, well, we tend to knee jerk and call you entitled.

OP, you're totally wrong. The world's full of guys who want sex but know they're not entitled, so here's what they don't do:

-whine about it
-needle their girlfriends about it
-get angry when it doesn't show up as an option today despite ____________
-make dates that are all about the "big finish"
-keep score
-develop inane and offensive "evolutionary theories" to explain why the girl's not putting out.

They just keep it in their pants and if the girl shows interest they show some back and let her lead a bit, and ask questions about what she wants and whether this is all right etc., and if she wants to stop, they stop. And he jerks off a lot. Wanna know a secret? Women do the same thing.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkXIuO3Q5LQ[/youtube]

Over applied. I've been accused of "feeling entitled for sex", just for complaining that I couldn't get a date. Really? That's entitlement? I thought entitlement was where you believe it is written in the constitution or bible that everyone has a right to free p****, or expects every woman to take their pants off every time they see you.

In some cases, the attribution probably comes from frustration over people who believe that they should be able to keep doing the same thing that they have been doing and expect different results. When men say that women should feel attracted to them because of this or that quality which they sincerely feel that they have, it does come across as blaming women for not liking them. I don't think anyone comes out and says, "I feel entitled to sex," but they do cast around for reasons why they aren't having any while explaining that they are in fact doing everything right.

If you say that cases exist where people use that meme with some other motivation, I find that easy to believe. I also read women saying the same type of thing from time to time, but I mostly see men doing it. All in all, I think that the idea will do more good than harm, making a few people keep the whining in check and instead engage in some self-examination.

I hope we can agree that anyone who lies to get sex feels entitled to sex in the same way that a thief or con man feels entitled to take other people's stuff.

Unfortunately, it's come front and center because of the Elliott Rodgers incident.

My overall concern is that people will think that all men on the spectrum, or otherwise introverted, are like him.

If we're going to go this route, we can argue that women feel entitled to a free dinner. If women feel that men who take them out aren't entitled to sex, that's fine, but they themselves shouldn't feel entitled for the man to pay their way on a date, atleast not until they are actually dating.

the 1950s called--they want their ridiculously outdated sexist gender roles and expectations back, as well as all unsubstantiated generalisations about the ladies.

edit* --go dutch or go home.

I didn't know the telephone time machine was invented back then?

Uh huh, apparently you haven't met the type of girls I have. Did I say all women are like this? Of course they're not, but I've met enough girls that feel they are self entitled. It's not just men that can feel self entitled.

whine about it. both women and guys whine about not getting sex. or any number of other things they want. humans whine we are a complaining species. I don't see any problems about it really as long as they are like he won't have sex with me and i feel frustrated vrs he won't give me sex.

not sure needle their girlfriend is? o.O never heard that phrase.
getting angry or frustrated hard to tell some times. i guess its ok as long as not take out on others. both men and women who have over active sex drive and don't have sex will likely get angry or frustrated.

dates all about sex. seems to be quite common with both sexes I believe his is the whole point in meetin people drinking at bars(how this could lead to a relationship is quite confusing to me.)

keeping score seems to be non gender based. i've read some articles recently about women that have keep score and kept track of the size of all the guys they've been with. i think its quite bad to do though . I mean i know how many i've been with cause its just the one. I don't have a little black book though lol

can't argue with the last one, but what about people that think cause their spouce doesn't want sex it means tey cheating or not interested anymore, while really they are just distracted, stressed or suffering from a lack of sex drive?



as for the topic. I want and don't want sex. I feel that if i want sex, fantasize about , get horny by seeing women that I will be viewed as a monster or people saying I feel entitled or I'm a rapist. religion takes this view point and society to some extent does too.
I feel to be attracted to a woman makes me a rapist. I hate summer for this reason so many women wearing barely anything. I sadly feel attracted to them :'( I don't feel anyone owes me sex, I quite wish I didn't want it. its very shaming and stressful I get so much anxiety and depressed. on the other hand it seems to be expected to have sex in a relationship. seems dammed if you do dammed if you don't

I don't think i've ever met a guy who felt entitled to sex. though tons will objectify women's bodies and such.

could it be you're choosing the women you go out on dates with based on the wrong criteria? --because the ones who are like how you describe usually look and act a certain way and are easy enough to avoid, unless you like the way they look but not the way they act. then you have yourself a dilemma.....and i think it's a dilemma that many people share. pretty on the outside does not always translate to pretty on the inside; looks can be very deceptive. try going out with girls that are more suited to your personality and values--girls that want to be partners, not pets, and want to work and pay their own way in life, if that is what is important to you.

You are coming off very mean. Why wouldn't he be upset? Whine? Everyone has to vent now and again, I'm sure you've "Whined" about things as well. This isn't really something you tell someone who has low self esteem, it just comes off mean and insensitive.