dating ad advice

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well it's time to repost my ad.

http://eugene.craigslist.org/m4w/4472468486.html

I got 4 real responses, but they all went from talking a lot to not very much to non at all.

so i need a new title and advice if the ad wording or info should be changed.

Sorry, Sly...can't do it from my job's computer.

I'll look at it when I get home tonight.

I like it.

If you've been using the same ad and title for a while, change it. Otherwise people get used to seeing the same thing and know who posted it and don't bother responding. If it's new and fresh, you might get different responses. The ones who are going to respond to that particular ad probably already have.

If you're going to leave it mostly as it is, I would correct grammatical errors at the very least. i.e. change "I have car" to "I have a car" and "i" to "I" and "If you want to know message me" to "If you want to get to know me, feel free to email." Something along those lines.

Personally, I would strip most of the info out of there. Sometimes less is more. You can discuss things about yourself via email or on a first date. Sometimes the more info you put out there, the more people you alienate if they're turned off by certain things you've said or disclosed. Having a car is likely never a bad thing, but someone might be turned off by the fact that you have roommates - so don't offer up the info in your ad for them to eliminate you by. Same thing with having a seasonal job. Heck, some people might be intimidated by the fact that you have an education and figure you're out of their league because of it. Not likely, but never know.

I would also nix the line about wanting a partner to share your love and life with. While that may be true, it might scare some people off if they're thinking you're looking for too serious of a commitment too soon when they're simply looking for a first date to get to know someone. It's like the 80's tv cliche of some girl in a sitcom going on about marriage and kids when the guy is like "uh, we just met.. can't we just have a date and get to know each other and see if we like each other?"

I know I'm being critical, but I like to believe that it's helpful constructive criticism. It's not bad to mention your height, general looks, and things you like to do... but it doesn't present very well when you do it all in one run-on sentence with a few commas. Break it up and write it properly and you'll get better results.

The basic info you're presenting is all OK, it's just the presentation of it that needs work. That and I'd get rid of a few pieces of info and save them for email or in person conversation as you get to know someone.

The other thing that may make your ad more effective, as well as attract someone attracted to you, is to include a picture of yourself. Obviously you'll want to post a decent picture of yourself vs. one that isn't so flattering, so be careful in selecting something.

One of the online personal ads that I got the most responses from was an ad I posted with a very short title, a picture of myself, and only a couple of lines of text basically saying if you're interested, email me and let's chat. That's it. I said nothing about myself or what I'm interested in, what I know, what I do etc. No details at all. Pretty much just a photo and a "if you like what you see, email me" sort of message. Granted, this type of post was not to find a long term relationship. And FYI while I got quite a few responses, I never did meet anyone from that particular ad because it wasn't my objective with it. I posted it to get feedback more on my aesthetics than personality and to see what kind of people were attracted to me. So, when they emailed, I replied and asked them what made them email me, what they liked about what I posted etc and then read their responses. Despite the fact that some may say I was wasting others' time, it was nice to get a bit of a confidence booster with compliments from random strangers, AND had I gotten a response from someone I was genuinely interested in I'd have met them - but I didn't, so whatever. It was still a valuable exercise for me, as well as proved my thoughts on "less is more" when it comes to posting things like this and went to show that a picture really is worth a thousand words when it comes to attracting someone.

I sense some missing words, I would let a native English speaker to fix it.

As for the car thing, I know that I've advocated before that car is important for dating but don't mention it that obviously, you may sound like you're flashing about it.
You could drop something less flashy like mentioning at the end "I have my own mean of transportation, so little distance is no issue for me".

why is the "men seeking men" section mostly a bunch of gay-sex ads when its supposed to be for relationships? Looks almost the same as casual-encounters m4m.

It's that way in my neck of the woods, too. I'd say, in general, it's because guys are guys.. and they're horny.

Also, I guess it may appear less "slu*ty," to post in m4m vs. casual encounters.

It's very common to see the same guys post in both sections with similar ads. It's likely just to ensure they don't miss a potential response if one person is browsing m4m OR casual encounters and doesn't see the other ad.

But it is nice to see actual m4m ads for a change of pace vs. just a bunch of hookup ads. Especially when they're m4m ads posted by guys I may be interested in. But still, at this stage of my life I can't really be bothered to truly date anyone so I don't really care that much who posts what where.

My advice? Stay far, far away from craigslist. I doubt you'll find anything but creeps and scammers there.

I read the revised ad and I like the original better. It had more character. I wrote this from what you said.

I like to spend time in the sunshine, walking in the park or camping. Going for hikes. I like cuddling up on cool fall nights to watch a movie. I'm 6'4" with brown eyes and hair, am 26 and have a college degree. Looking for someone to share the joy with.

I dunno, I've had terrible luck with on line dating.

goldfish21

I have to change the title and do little changes of the ad in order for it not to be flagged as spam. I bump the ad 3 times then have to do another.

I will try to correct the spelling and such, but I do not have good writing skills. I don't want to mislead a gramar nazi woman into thinking I do just for her to dump me when she finds out I don't

length wise my I felt my ad is rather short. most of the women's ads are like 2-4 good sized paragraphs.

In the past I've gotten messages from women and it goes well til they ask about where I live, car, job. then it ends. I figure it is best to just get it over with at the front, before I get invested and hurt.

no picture. I don't like having my picture out there. It would only make things worse anyways. My best bet is to find someone who can fall for me based on my personality. I also have people that surf craigslist to laugh at ads. I don't want them seeing my picture.

The_Face_of_Boo

I list the car cause so many women's ads list it as a requirement, so I figured I should list it since its important. find what the people want then put that in your resume. figured the same would work for dating. A ad is a dating resume, is it not?

what you said might sound better though.

Venger

the women for men's is too. those people seeking sex are invading the dating area. It is probably cause there isn't a lot of people wanting just sex. That and half are probably spam bots.

Stargazer43

true, half the responses I get are scammers. but still if i get 8 responses and 4 are spammers. I still got in touch with 4 women in a week. That is a lot more then I have got from okc or pof.

I for the most part have stopped messaging ads though. They always ask for a pic saying then i'll show mine. They 99% of the time don't . I don't like strangers having my picture. The only downside to both okc and cl is that more women then I am comfortable with , have my number.

Ann2011

idk i might try it.

might leave out the degree(its a failure afterall) and camping/hiking (recently became super worried about ticks after hearing they can give lyme disease.)

revised ad?

so I made the changes here are two ideals

or





should I mention my nerdy side. I tend to be more into geek girls. like scifi shows/movies, video games, anime.

Yeah, for sure! The more you mention the more likely you are to catch the interest of someone with something in common.

How do I state them.

I feel my current version edited reads like a bunch of non connected sentences or like list.

You can try using a word processor to correct spelling and grammar, i.e. Microsoft Word or something similar. Even if you don't write perfectly all the time in real life, at least it shows you've put the effort into making your ad as good as it can be.

You're right, it isn't too long. Sometimes people post really long TLDR type ads. Yours isn't one of them. But I have found that super short tends to get people more interested because they have more questions vs. you answering all the questions in the ad and then they don't feel so compelled to email and ask anything.

I wouldn't worry too much about people having your picture or phone number. Chances of them doing anything harmful with them are slim to none. Either they're interested in you and will contact you, or they're not and they won't. That's about it.

As for a picture, if the one you're sending by email isn't a great pic of you, then consider getting another one taken. It might be beneficial to get a snapshot of yourself doing something you enjoy. Pics like that tend to show people at their best because they're happy. Instead of posting a picture of yourself in the ad, you could always post a pic of your favourite place to go for a hike or something like that - and then say what the pic is in the ad. I recommend this over no picture at all just because people tend to click on ads with pics more than they do on ones without pics. People can even search cl and filter out all the ads with no pics posted if they want, so your ad would be missing in those peoples' search results and they'll never even see your headline.

I'd still leave the part about living arrangements with roommates out of the ad. You could keep that to yourself until after a first date, if you want. Just no sense in offering up any more information than you need to in order to get people to contact you, especially if it might be a turnoff to some.

Tics have always carried/caused lyme disease. You still don't have lyme disease. The probability of getting bit by a tic is minimal. Stop worrying about that.

Craigslist? Not. Even. Once.