Good piece of advice!

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I asked my councillor the other "why do my parents have such a positive towards my ability to get a job yet such a negative attitude to me developing a romantic relationship"

My shrink said "sometimes people can make assumptions about what your capable and not capable of"

Tell me why this advice from my shrink was 'good'?

Because it's true. People always make assumptions about each other, particularly with Aspies. I feel like it kind of limits our potential

How do you think though she was trying to 'help' me with that comment?

OP, do you mean your parents think you can't develop and relationship or your parents think you shouldn't develop a relationship?

Can't

I dunno if the comment alone was really intended to be of any help; it sounds more like she was just stating a fact. People do make assumptions about one another's abilities. Although I think she was implying that just because someone assumes you won't do well in a romantic relationship, doesn't mean you shouldn't try. And she's right. If it will make you happy, no one else should try and talk you out of it

I asked because I know this aspie dude in meatspace who has no trouble forming relationships but his controlling parents say he shouldn't because he's aspie

The flip side is my Mum who casually says "you'll meet someone some day" when I know I'm facing some pretty long odds.

Why do people think just cause your an aspie you should not be in a relationship

From my experience people make assumptions for a reason. If its a way I 'come across' which are making them think that way about me then I could work on fixing it. However if its there preconceived ideas about autism then there's nothing I can do to change there way of thinking

It doesn't seem like advice, just a subjective assessment of OP's areas of strength/competence & weakness/difficulty.
A lot of us are good at academic or task-oriented work, but not so talented/adept at the interpersonal/social realm.

Excerpt from ?Think Like A Freak? by Steven D. Levitt & Stephen J. Dubner (2014):

So do you think my parents might think its for the best that I never have a partner or girlfriend in my 'entire' life.

I wouldn't wish a life of loneliness on anyone but if my parents want to have that attitude then maybe they lack compassion or think they are trying to protect me in some way.

I have no idea.




I thought you said your parents think you can't get a girlfriend, not that your parents think you shouldn't get a girlfriend.

Hypothetically speaking, if you brought a girl home tomorrow would they go into a moral outrage or would they just be very surprised?

Surprised probably.

Even I think I just could not balance a girlfriend in my life at the moment. Maybe it's just a matter of maturing and that I am not ready for a gf yet?

Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm not ready for a girlfriend yet either but... if I'm not good with girls is that because I need to wait a few more years or is it because in order to get better at being in a relationship I need to spend more time in a relationship. They say it takes ten thousand hours to get good at something so I'd have to do it for about a year and two months.

The thing is as well it does not seem to alarm my parents that I am nearly 25 and never had a relationship. Seriously they NEVER talk to me about getting a girlfriend unless I bring up the subject. Strange though as a kid 'my mum inparticular' would often talk to me about having a girlfriend in the future. My parents are concerned about me never having a proper job yet they could not give a damn about the fact that I have never had a gf.

I've been told this multiple times by my mother, I think it's because she doesn't want me spreading it.