I know this won't be very helpful in your situation, and I'm sorry about how things went down. FTR, I hate, Hate, HATE condoms, too.
My wife decided after we had our first child there would be no more birth control. I didn't like it, but I respected her decision.
Some 9 months later, we were really into each other one night after we'd run out of condoms. Typically we'd have unprotected sex about the same time every month and had no issues, so we figured we were ok. However, we misjudged what time of the month it actually was, so a few months later we had baby #2.
A couple of years pass with RELIGIOUS condom use when one night I notice something a little "weird" after making love. 8 months later, baby #3.
We've been just over 2 years since THAT with no incident and my wife FINALLY on her own terms decided to go on the pill. She had just finished her first round of the pill this week when I made the decision that THIS time I wasn't going to stop (to put on a condom). It was like the clouds parted and a light shone forth from heaven, butterflies were everywhere, and bluebirds and angels were singing?
Excellent timing, too, because confirmation she was NOT pregnant came within 8 hours of doing the deed. Much relieved, too, since doctors often recommend protected sex for at least a full month when first using the pill, and we were a little less than a week short of that. But we both hate condoms and feel the act is a lot more complete without them.
My point is you don't have to like condoms and that whole zip-lock thing. But women will tend enjoy getting dirty, getting diseases, and getting babies a lot less, and the pill also has some nasty side-effects that they'd rather not deal with (mood swings?ugh?). Don't get me wrong, I love all 3 of my children and wouldn't give them up for anything. But if this isn't something you're willing to take on and she's unwilling to take the pill, you might do better to just get used to condoms and accept it for the time being. And, as I mentioned with baby #3, condoms aren't perfect, either. You'll just do a lot better learning to live with it.
Again, sorry all that garbage happened to you. I do hope things get turned around for you and you don't get hooked up with any more psychos.