Lost interest in dating

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I just...have no motivation for it, and yet I still want to find a meaningful relationship.

It could be for a variety of reasons...

I work a s**t job, at least until school starts again in September. I barely make enough to take care of myself never mind being able to afford dating.

I'm not the most social person; I lead a very shut-in life. I cycle between going to work and coming home, with barely enough energy to prepare for the next day. On down days I mostly do random stuff on my computer, go get groceries when needed, or go for a bike ride or run because sitting on my ass all day feels terrible. Basically nothing's changed since high school, and I'm 21; that's including a lack of friends.

It's not that I don't see pretty girls around - I do - I just kind of assume things like 'you're pretty but probably not my type' or 'we probably don't have anything in common'. If I don't have anything in common with you, it's hard for me to find stuff to talk about; I kind of go silent when that happens. And speaking of types, I have no idea what mine is. Because of this, I kind of react to girls in a rather indifferent manner.

Overall I don't like how things are right now and I'm not sure how to change it.

I feel the same way. Glad to hear I'm not alone.

I have at you bro, I've sorta lost motivation for it as well. You would think that of the 7 or 8 billion people on this planet I would have found at least one or two with a personality that's compatible with mine, but I guess not... I'm 22 by the way, so I know the pain that comes along with this problem. At this age we should be enjoying ourselves and having fun, but we are cast aside like used condoms for the simple fact that we are a little bit different.

I can give you advice because I'm going through the same thing and am also looking for the answer, but just keep your head up bro and when I find that answer I'll pm you. I just want to let you know I identify with working your ass of and not even being able to enjoy one of life's simple treasures: being able to enjoy the company of the opposite sex.

Good luck bro and keep your head up.

Hi phenom,

Perhaps romance requires a differenct aspect of socializing, in fact there's a lot of illogical behavior required before you could start flirting. On my experience, my straightforward attitude in dealing with people sends an opposite signal to the opposite sex. You have to be gentle, confident, indirect as NTs would say, but there's a lot more going on. Tough life

Maybe you are spending too much time with that blue turbocharged 240sx. I can see how that would peak your interest a little more.

Way to recognize. Alas, I wish that were the case; I'm still saving to get either an S14 or to possibly import an S15 (they just became legal in Canada). If I had that to tinker with, or pretty much any car for that matter, I'd have a little less to complain about; I'd also have another excuse for why I can't date.

"I can't afford to date right now, I got to install this Garret GT3270, heat treat it, and re-map my piggyback ECU!...oh wait nevermind this base map should do it." Maybe once I become a mechanic it'll become more affordable, both the cars and the girls. It's also a bit of a confidence booster if you enjoy the job you do.

I kind of think it's like a leveling system...

Lvl 1: get friends.
Lvl 2: get girlfriend
Lvl 3: ???
Lvl 4: Profit

So right now I'm trying to find ways to make some social connections that don't involve me sitting in front of a screen. Once I have friends, I have a social network. I can try to grow that network, until I find someone I can relate to on several levels. But that's all theory, I gotta find out where to start the process.

I also have this feeling that the person I'm looking for might not be in my home city where I'm currently living; hell, they might not even be in this country, I can't say for certain. I certainly had better success when I was living with my uncle a little further west, but then again, I had my more socially adept cousin around to push me. But to his credit, I at least got to experience my first kiss.

This might sound weird, even highly illogical, but when I was about 11, there was this fortune teller at this annual Halloween event held at the local zoo who told me I would find love overseas. I know it's probably just made up, but I'd like to believe it might be true, at least to the extent that who I might be looking for might not be in the place I grew up.

It's probably pretty defeatist of me to automatically assume someone wouldn't be into me simply based on looks. However like a lot of people with AS, I possess a great number of special interests, that if I did not share at least one common interest with that person, I would find it difficult to communicate with them.

You did find your love overseas. It is a Nissan. Things that you imagine, may not turn out like you want them too. Your imagination is alot better. People who have no standards, and no imagination can settle for just about anyone.

When i was young, I was into carburated v8 cars. I had 5 firebirds from 1971-1979. Two formulas, and one TA with t-tops. Other cars too. Those being my favorites. The 71 formula was really nice. The rest were beaters, and sleepers. did the auto machinist thing, and built some really fast cars. Now I settle for a k-20 civic.

I just want someone that loves me for who I am. I want a companion.

It seems like the NT's can't find love because they never say what they mean, and think in such clouded ways that they don't even know what they want. The neuroawesomes (new word I just made up) are all so traumatized from years of bullying and rejection that we can't let our guards down. Taking a chance on the few people who show a little kindness and understanding becomes extra scary because we don't want to turn that tiny glimmer of acceptance into just another rejection.

Maybe we're all doomed.

I was in the same boat you were in when I was your age and even now, I still have no dating prospects. I've graduated college but I'm just now trying to find a career that will pay decent so I can move out of my parents house. The thought of dating still hasn't even cross my mind as I have enough to worry about right now. Right now I don't even have the drive to try dating.

That's great, man. It's too bad V8's are becoming rather expensive to run/own. It's why I like my turbo I4's.

I guess I could think of it like that, but I'd like it to apply more to women rather than cars.


yeaaaah, same here.

I don't understand what is meant by this. Could someone please explain? I hope it doesn't mean 'people are impressed with stupidity'

What do you mean with letting our guard down?

Flirting is derived from a creative idea that may not be true. Most of the time it makes no sence. It is created in order to turn someone on, give them butterflies, make them juicy, or give them a rise. First you need to find out if there is a willingness to do so. Some like it all the time. If not done properly, it can be a very bad idea.

Sometimes people pick you up to take a fall. Because you let them.
If you read that, you are probably also supposed to have a sence of humorn

Check this URL out:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles ... oopy-logic

Flirting, for me, has its primary, unconscious objective to ensure reproduction, not love nor companionship. It's an eye opener for me as I read through these articles about the underlying mechanism of romance. I thought dating with the opposite sex seeks love only, again something is going on, implicitly, and that's why I failed, because I didn't notice it.