26 years old and single?

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I am 26 years old and am still single. It just frustrates the heck out of me that people my age and even younger are finding relationships at unbelievable ease and I have trouble with so much as speaking to a girl. Finding a girlfriend is of great importance to me and I get angry because people I know who are 20-23 years old have steady relationships already. Also, I know one friend who went through 2 girlfriends while I still have 0. It really frustrates me and being single is not fun anymore. How can I get over this and finally meet that girl I've been looking for? Also, what can I do when I fell jealous like this and just wanna yelling at someone? I can't stand feeling like this and I don't know what to do.

also 26 and single

31 and single. So what?

The easiest way to find something is to stop looking for it.

Focus your time and energy on doing things you enjoy, which will make you a joyful person vs. an angry frustrated one, and a joyful person is much more attractive to others.. and then when you least expect it you'll meet someone.

edit: Since others have mentioned it about themselves: I'm single as in not in a relationship, but I've still dated here and there (even if not officially "going steady," or anything. plenty of first dates etc, some friends with benefits) & have still had a sex life over the years. I currently still have a long running crush on a friend, and thus have avoided dating others with any sort of seriousness. I also haven't met anyone else I'd like to date as much or more than my crush, either. But I may someday, never know. I'm not anti-relationship. Eventually I want one and think I would prefer it. But I'm certainly not pro-relationship to the point that I'd go out with someone just for the sake of not being single. I've had many guys want to date me and have declined as it's not what I want with them. So, I guess I could say I'm much more single by choice than many here. In years past I've been single by choice as well, but mores because my symptoms were bad and I didn't want to burden anyone with them. Now, not so much, but I am truly honestly enjoying being single & free and able to spend my time working on myself, my health, fitness, work, finances, learning, growing, changing etc vs. trying to balance a relationship in the mix. The only way I'd do it now vs. sometime later when I feel more ready is if by some miracle my crush decided he wanted to date me, or if I met someone I was equally or more compatible with. Otherwise I'll just keep on doing what I'm doing because it works for me, and IF I feel like getting laid I can do that, so there's no real longing for sexual relations or anything like that weighing on my mind. To a certain extent, in recent times sex has become rather "meh," and almost boring & I almost regret spending my time and energy on it vs. getting a good night's sleep or doing something more productive or creative with my time. I look forward to a day in the future when sex is with someone I'm in a truly loving relationship with. It may just be the allure of something I haven't really had in my life, but I like to think that it'll be a lot better sex for it. All in due time, I suppose. Eventually I'll find out, whether that's this year or next or not for a few more yet I don't know nor really concern myself with. I don't have a biological clock that's ticking down or anything, and I do have other things in life that I'm passionate about and working hard on that require my time/energy/focus etc besides the eventual desire for a long term relationship. I feel fortunate and comforted in the fact that I know that if I wanted a relationship with someone for the sake of being in a relationship's sake that I could be in one at pretty much the snap of my fingers (not trying to sound arrogant here, honest.) - but that's not what I want out of life, so, in essence, being single is exactly what I want for right now. Until a better more ideal opportunity presents itself, anyways. Someday.. but for now, I'm enjoying the single life & I suggest a lot of you here could do better at that, too. Also, enjoying the single life does not have to include anything sexual whatsoever. I have friends who are truly enjoying their single life freedom to work, study, travel, learn, experience, grow, create, hang out with friends, participate in sports etc and have pretty much zero sex life at all and don't really care about it aside from knowing that eventually they see themselves in a committed long term relationship again with the right person when the time is right for them.

Last edited by goldfish21 on 29 Jun 2014, 5:16 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Me too...

28 and not only single, but never been on a date. That might be changing soon, not sure yet. Things are still in her court. But I did what goldfish said. I focused on other things, and you know what? I'm in a better position now to engage in any sort of relationship than I was even 2 years ago. Take it at your own pace. Those people you mentioned, who're getting married or whatever at 21-23? How many of them are still going to school? How many of them have only met 3-6 months earlier, if that? I bet you that all but a small percentage of those people, whether they get married or are simply being 'committed' to one another, will have divorced by the time they're 35. Then they'll be in an even worse position. There is not a single person I know who wishes they would've waited until our age range to really begin looking at prospective partners.

was single until i was 52. horrible engagement in my late twenties. an abuser saw and took advantage of someone vulnerable. i've dated 100 people, asking a significant number of those out myself. there was no mutual love until marc. we celebrated our fifth in may. we make a good team. he helps me socially. i help him because i'm more logical.

I'm either 23 or 24, and will remain single for the foreseeable future. I have absolutely no problem with this, as I've only been attracted to one person before. Mostly I'm just happy to know that I have the capability to have affection for another human being, in case that somehow comes up.

Being single sucks, but getting dumped over and over also sucks =) It's a double-edged sword.

I can see what you guys are saying. Cathylynn, your story definitely is an encouragement. Maybe, I won't be in my 50s until I meet someone . Who knows?..lol. Sorry other things didn't work out for you earlier Thanks for all of your replies. It definitely helps me out.

Whatever you do, don't just sit around waiting for something to happen; it likely never will on its own. In that same breath I'll caution you not to try and force anything that's not there, either. (example: if you cross paths with a girl when no one else is around and notice she's looking at you, make eye contact and smile and say hi, and leave it at that.) I don't know what shape your self-esteem is in, but the best thing I did for my self-esteem was to give myself permission to be myself. It doesn't matter how much more or less weird we are than the rest of society - everyone helps comprise society and there's a niche for all of us.

31 and still single, been single since I was 23 in the mean time had casual encounters.

I know exactly how you feel. I didn't have my first real relationship until I was 29 years old. Before that being single really depressed me. I felt like such an outsider. I would see some guy who had a girlfriend, and get jealous, and wonder what made him better than me?

I met my first girlfriend at a Church group I went to when I was in graduate school. I used to see her at the campus fitness center a few times a week, but never talked to her there. But it gave me something to start a conversation with when she first showed up at the Church group. That relationship lasted for 18 months. I am lucky in that the breakup was very peaceful, no yelling at each other or much drama.

I finally got married when I was 32, which seems kind of late, but it has worked out very well for almost 15 years now. I had pretty much lost hope of ever getting married, or maybe even dating again,when I might my wife.

There are times that I still feel depressed that I didn't have any luck dating until I was 29, but did have it turn out ok. When I complain to therapists that I feel like I missed out on so much in adolescence and early adulthood, they remind me that I also missed out on the drama of breakups, getting my heart broken, feeling like I can never keep a relationship, etc.

At least being single did allow me to go to and finish graduate school without having to support another person, and it lead to me getting a job I really like (most of the time).

Just keep trying. Try to find groups devoted to things that you are interested in. That will let you meet people who share interests with you. I also learned that men pretty much have to do the initial asking out. It may have changed a little, but it does still seem that many women have been socialized to have the man initiate things.

Switch the 26 to a 23 and that's me.

I have switched to an approach of just letting it come to me. If it happens, it happens.

It's definitely tough to see other being successful, but when say you see a friend kiss a girlfriend, just don't look if it makes you jealous, or try to accept it and be happy for them.

As for venting frustrations...which is not just for this particular issue. Get a punching bag, swing a pillow like a chair, etc...

Everyone has to vent at some point, no matter what it is. Just pick something where you can't hurt yourself, someone else, or break something...unless it's plates haha.

i'm 26 and also feel the same way

That's the worst advice on the planet. You still need to have some kind of social circle, girlfriends don't pop out of thin air.

I agree. I didn't "look" for 26 years, and I really fell behind the curve because of it.