I wish I had someone to watch Saturdays' eclipse with.

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I don't know if I should have put this here or in the haven. If the mods want to move it that's fine with me.

There's going to be a blood red total lunar eclipse on Saturday night (http://space.newscientist.com/article.n ... news_rss20) and according to the MET office the sky should be clear where I live. I've never seen a red one before and I'll probably go out somewhere and watch it alone, but I wish I had a nice guy to share the experience with. This isn't very likely though, I've been on my own for quite some time and am likely to remain so. I have one really good male friend who I absolutely adore and love, and have done for over seven months. I asked him out six months ago and he said no, but since then I've not been able to change the way I feel about him and it's made me miserable. As long as I feel the way I do about him, no other guys seem the least bit attractive to me. I've never been able to find more than one guy attractive at the same time, and it has caused me similar problems in the past.

Although he said no, I don't know if he's really completely uninterested- he likes doing things with me, likes to hug sometimes and often spends more time talking to me than anyone else when we're in a group. Also, he's not someone who makes a lot of eye contact, but when he's talking to me he'll look me straight in the eye, often for several minutes if we're talking about something interesting. I've read that this can indicate an interest in something more than friendship. He's very shy, though, and I don't know if he'd make any moves even if he was interested. I'm really not good at judging these things, though, and I could be reading meaning into his actions that isn't there. I don't want to jepordise the friendship. I could always ask him if he wants to come out with me to see the eclipse just to see the eclipse (he's got a life long interest in space), but although I do enjoy spending time with him like this it always ends up leaving me feeling frustrated.

I shouldn't be looking for someone just now as I have other personal problems and am finding it hard to cope with life, so I wouldn't make a very good girlfriend and I don't want to burden anyone else with my problems. I would still love to be able to spend quality time with someone and I crave affection, either given or recieved, even although I don't have much of a libido to speak of (am not asexual, can still provide sex). I'm sorry this has been a bit of a long and pathetic post. I don't know what to do, my life is a mess for a variety of reasons and I know that having a boyfriend isn't likely to make it much better (and could lead to him getting hurt as well). I don't know if there's anything I can do, really. If anyone's been in a similar situation or has some advice that might be useful then I'd be glad to hear from them.

I only skim read your post as I have to shower and get out, but I totally identify. I have been obsessed and in love(in my own opinion, of course) with the same man for almost 9 months, though to my disadvantage, he will not even talk to me, let alone be a friend to me. He is eccentric, he is most likely autistic(aspie), highly intelligent, quirky and special, but has only ever hovered around me or looked at me, or on occasion when asked why he wont talk to me, called me a stalker and said we have nothing in common, lol. So, in a sense, I understand because once I am interested in one person, no-one else really matters. I have no interest whatsoever in any other male but this one. Would you say that you are obsessive about this man, in that you get thoughts of him constantly and are always looking for signs he might be interested? As I tend to get obsessive when I fall for someone, and look at every movement or look that might possibly mean an interest...and the pain and frustration when nothing changes is acute, yes. I understand that longing to be closer to someone, but finding that it just isn't happening.

I also love eclipses and such things, and of course, there is something almost romantic about them...they do affect, apparently, the energy of things and of people. The last one, last year, the man I like turned up at the same place as me by the water just after, but didn't stay, lol, imagine how frustrating that must have been! I also understand the feeling that you might be a burden, that you have issues that you need to resolve before getting involved...the dilemma between what you want and what your logic suggests isn't possible. I too tell myself often that I would be a burden...wouldn't cope with the intimacy etc, yet it does not stop me wanting that.

Of course, my situation is slightly different in that the man I adore will not even utter a word to me, even after long letters and poems which he willingly took and read. But my way of dealing right now is to try and force myself to be interested in something else...not a person, but some topic or some book etc. And I am working on avoiding seeing the person I feel for so that the feelings might somehow die down to a more bearable level... needless to say, it isn't totally working and leaves me even more bereft. I wish I could come up with answers. Maybe you should write him a letter and honestly explain the situation, so you would know one way or another? Writing, I find, is infinitely easier than trying to tell someone face to face and gives you time to compose your thoughts.

Is this happening all over the world?

If so, that's great because something like that doesn't happen very often.

Yes, very, but I don't think I "stalk" him, and he certainly hasn't said anything about this. I merely spend time with him as a friend and he hasn't said anything negative about this. I am good at keeping my feelings to myself. Occasionally I give him a hug when I say goodbye or if he's upset about something, but he seems to like this. He's never shown me any affection though, so this doesn't prove anything.



It's good to know that I'm not the only one in this position, thanks. Obviously I don't have anything to suggest to help, so all I can say is that I hope we both manage to work something out.



I don't know if writing would help or not- I don't want to freak him out or worrying, he's got important university exams coming up and is a worrier by nature. He doesn't need any more stress. I've tried to find something to distract me, but because I have a very small social circle I see an awful lot of him.

BTW, I hope that troll that was targeting you got banned. What they did was really uncalled for.



I think so, everywhere the moon will be visable at about 11pm GMT.

Very nice!

I hope you enjoy it!

its an eclipse so no

Re. the eclipse, there are two separate things I'd like to know more about:-

1. More info about the eclipse
2. More info about YOU

Otherwise it's a bit daft saying "ooh yes that would be great!" only to find that you're, say, 12 years old and live in Sheffield.

I sympathise with the wider sentiments of your post, it's bloody difficult maintaining friendships and relationships

I wish I could photograph this eclipse, but alas, I have no tripod yet and it would need a very slow exposure I am sure. I have a very good camera, fairly long lens, but damn my lack of a tripod. I so want to 'shoot the moon' one day. 11pm... that is quite late which might be a problem for me as I don't fancy standing at the red jet terminal here in soton at that time.

Wow!

England? America? Where could this be going?

Unfortunately I have work tomorrow night so I won't be able to watch the eclipse . Meanwhile all of my fellow teenagers will be out getting drunk without ever knowing an eclipse is happening.

1. Don't really have more info on said eclipse, only it'll be visible pretty soon over England. Don't know where else- everywhere it's night I presume (although in some areas it may only be a partial eclipse), but my knowledge of astronomy's not that great so I may be wrong.

2. I am 24 and doing a PhD in London. I'm not really in a fit state to be looking for a boyfriend right now, which is why I wasn't sure if I should post my initial post here or in the Haven. I'm a bit iffy about posting personal info on the internet, and you didn't specify what you want to know, but briefly:
I am an environmental scientist (or will be when I finish my PhD and get a job as such)
I'm a Scot (born Falkirk, have lived in Falkirk, Edinburgh and Aberdeen)
The things I currently tend to be a bit obsessive about include science (mainly biological), knitting and growing things.
I also enjoy science fiction, walking, fishing, making random things, museums and art galleries,beachcombing, rock collecting, lapidary, playing with poi and am always interested in learning new things.
I have a very surreal sense of humour.
I am currently waiting to be assessed for AS and don't know if I have it or not. ASDs don't run in my family, they gallop, affecting men and women equally (although the boys get diagnosed younger because they tend to have more behavioural problems)
I am 5'4" tall and of average build, have long golden-blonde hair (natural), brown eyes and pale skin.
I have had severe problems with social isolation and depression since early childhood.

Enjoy the eclipse! I'm off home to watch it.

Now that was rather cool!

For future reference I am a 31 year old Englishman who spends a week every year in Falkirk - well, Bo'ness to be exact. A small group of us go every year to spend a week driving and firing the steam engines on the Bo'ness & Kinneil Railway. I'm not really sufficiently sorted out to be thinking about a relationship, having had lots of hassle in the past (nothing malicious, just NT / AS misunderstandings). I'm pretty likely to have AS but it's not been medically confirmed. I've had problems with social anxiety and depression and have trouble self-medicating with things like energy drinks because I have diabetes.

I work in London (Victoria Street) but want to downsize and leave the rat race within the next 5 years. My ideal plan is to buy a "liveaboard" narrowboat as I love the countryside and find water very relaxing.

So we seem to have some things in common but also some truly individual interests. Which is nice (as they say in Edinburgh).

Shame I live where I do. Sun was well within view at the time, making it obviously impossible for me to witness the eclipse.

I'm from Seattle, and I thought for sure I'd see a lunar eclipse.

I don't know. Maybe this eclipse that I heard about is only going to be in England.

I went out and went down to the waterfront here to see the eclipse...it was, obviously, a full eclipse and the moon went a sort of rusty red... though it wasn't totally easy to see the colour. I am sensitive to energies of things like this, so it was a very odd feeling. I wish it had been quieter as there is something quite eerie and ethereal about an eclipse when the air is totally still and silent. I experienced an eclipse like that when I lived on the Isle Of Wight in the uk here.

Anyway, I tried to get some photographs but it was very hard to focus with so little light from the moon to focus on and no idea how they will come out.

Oh! I forgot, it's after midnight in England right now, isn't it?