Total abstinence

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Really curious as to whether anyone has managed total abstinence from all sexual activity whether self generated or otherwise. This with an average libido. How on earth did you manage it??? And no im not planning this for myself so personal recommendations are not welcomed If there are any would be monks or nuns your contribution is however welcome. How did your religion contribute?

Abstinence from sexual activity with other people is easy to achieve if you never had the opportunity to have long-term relationships like me, even if abstinence is not your goal. Abstinence from self-sexual behaviour like masturbation is more difficult though.

Abstaining from sex? Easy: Get married.

That's not abstaining from sex because there's sexual activity within marriage. Unless you're trying to argue that marriage kills your desire for sex.

going through military basic/advanced training kept me away from it for a good 6 months.

I have had periods of celibacy. They lasted for a few months (3 or 4 months max). I was in my early 20's during both periods of celibacy. I managed to do it by not having TV or internet (both of which have images that you can masturbate to). Both periods of celibacy where incredibly uncomfortable. My sex drive was high, thought about sex several times a day, felt panicked at times because I had sexual feelings and didn't know what to do with them, thought I was going to act out on them.

Religion had something to do with it, but it was more about incest at an early age. I have a great deal of shame associated with sex because of the incest. Religion is something that justified the fear, shame, and compulsive avoidance of sexual activity that I already had due to the incest.

I actually decided to leave the church during one of these periods of celibacy. It was during my first period of celibacy that I came to terms with being bisexual. I couldn't reconcile the church's teaching on homosexuality with my belief that gay people are good people and sexual orientation is not a choice.

I would not advise anyone to be celibate for extended periods of time. I think it is psychologically unhealthy. (Short periods of time like a few weeks or a couple of months is okay.) Looking back on it, my periods of self-imposed celibacy where sexual anorexia. It is exactly the same thing as regular anorexia. Instead of compulsively avoiding food because of fear, one compulsively avoids sexual activity because of fear.

It is not hard for me because I don't long for sex when not in a relationship.

ORLLY????



I'm kidding. Marriage is complicated and after 3 kids and expanded chore lists, you don't WANT sex anymore.

I deal with it sometimes by watching movies or playing video games until I can't keep my eyes open anymore. Wife hates it, though, because she doesn't sleep well without me there?but when I DO come to bed on time, she's got her nose stuck in a book.

I love my life and my marriage, though, and wouldn't give it up for anything. It's just easy to get the wrong idea about what to expect in marriage. You think you're gonna get more sex without cheating? Think again, buddy!

What happens if you get married without the intention of having kids?

Good question. The only answer I have for that is there are more ways than one to skin a cat.

I mean, seriously, what do you want? Achieving total abstinence? Or avoiding kids altogether? Having kids is a means to an end.

There's always voluntary chemical castration in order to kill the desire. It's temporary, but done periodically should be effective long term. I'd totally do it.

Well, reasons for marriage is not necessarily about having children. Maybe you just want the marriage for the lifelong emotional companionship and maybe you still do intend to have a sexual relationship with your wife. Having sex with your wife doesn't necessarily have to mean that you want children either. There's such a thing as contraception and most people, whether within a marriage or not, have sex for reasons other than wanting children.

not a monk, but (non-christian) clergy.

a short period of abstinence leading up to certain rituals is metaphysically advantageous, but in general not necessary for normal day-to-day practices. complete abstinence is a very ascetic thing, more for those who choose a life of hermitage. enforced abstinence outside of those conditions can even be dangerous to the psyche of both clergy and parishioners, as we see all too often on the news these days.

sexual expression is a vital and integral part of the human experience, and for those of us on the spectrum as well.

Ok, I'm not picking on you, but this is a thing that I find a bit confusing about men. I can watch tv and browse the internet without feeling the need to wack one out. Why do men have such trouble?

And then there is a tiny bit of me that finds this a bit offensive. This sort of attitute makes me self conscious about what I wear, like I don't wear low cut tops or tight skirts because I wonder how men actually view me. So, I kind of find it a bit sexist. I wonder if it shows immaturity. I've read comments from guys online who say they don't treat women differently because of the way they dress and that they can control their urges.

So I find this all very confusing.

On abstinence. I find that regular exercise is good. The body needs exercise and I've always seen they physical side of sex as just good exercise so I feel like I am replacing like for like. But that's just me.

There are plenty of women who masturbate over the internet too, you know, I know that because I've seen/heard many doing it. **cough**skype**cough**dirty-talk*cough*.

And believe me, none of them loved me, even barely know me; I was simply an object of fantasy.

So you're very wrong to think that it's only men who use visual/audible impulses to whack it, you are simply not as much sexual. I mean come on, all these sex toys out there; the single ones of them surely think of someone while using them.

Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 09 Aug 2014, 5:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Oh, I'm not saying women don't do it. What I'm saying is that there seems to be this idea that men can't look at tv or the internet without being turned on and needing to have a w*k. I don't know if I really belive this.

I feel like it objectifies women and it makes me feel irritated, like it is assumed that men are just hormone driven and nothing else. It's sexist against men really.

You're quite a drama honestly lol, men have their horny moments and so women. It's not like we masturbate by simply watching the TV/net, we do it *when* we are horny.

The last woman I've had a... "shared masturbation" with her told me earlier that I am not her type, she likes blond and hairless men and I am totally the opposite yet ended up doing it; I've asked her why she had chosen me to do it while I am not her type, she said "I was already horny and you were there, I thank you".

I find your post bit offensive, you are saying that women generally have higher morals when it comes to masturbation, no dear, no they don't. lol It's you.