Relationship Anxiety

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Hey everyone. I'm new to this, and I've got a lot to say, so hopefully someone is willing to take the time to actually read this! I've got Asperger's, I was told when I was in 8th grade. I recently graduated from college in May, so I've known for some time, and I've known how to deal with its limitations. Anyway. A week ago was my three-month-mark in my first relationship with my boyfriend. He and I are compatible, everything is great. We both love each other very much. Here's the deal. He's currently in England, studying abroad for the semester. That's fine, the distance is okay. I've made my peace with that issue. What's bothering me is other minute stuff....he likes to go out a lot. He likes to drink a lot. Lots of clubs, pubs, traveling. I trust him, but every time he mentions how he's going out, or that he's drunk, I get this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I don't know if I'm afraid that he'll get hurt, or be drunk enough to cheat on me, or whatever. But I tend to bottle all of my emotions up. He doesn't know I have Asperger's (or we haven't talked about it). He said he loves me, my anxiety and all, and that I would never be a burden to him. But I really hate that all he does is go out. He goes to class, and does his work. But all he does other than that is go out and party, go drinking because it's legal for him to do so over there. Does anyone out there have any tips for calming my anxiety? He'll be back December 13, it's not that long, but I still worry so much. Hopefully this all makes sense!

I think it'd help to figure out what exactly it is about him going out that makes you anxious. Do you trust him? You know you should, but when you really inspect the content of your thoughts and feelings, do you? Whatever the answer, I think you should discuss these feelings with him and do so without placing blame. That is, you disclose the feelings, but you take responsibility for them and work with him to relieve them.

So, in a word: communicate.

I had a lot of anxiety in my 1st relationship & begging of my 2nd worrying about em. It caused me to screw up my 1st & was causing lots of problems in the 2nd till I started taking Buspar for generalized anxiety. My anxiety has never been a problem in my 3rd which is my current relationship thanx to Buspar.