Need Some Dating Advice (Slow Mover)

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It's been a while since I posted here and my two month eHarmony subscription just ended. Overall, I would say it was successful with 10 different dates, even though no relationship so far. My question is about the only one I am still dating. She is 32, well liked and respected, we tick all each others boxes and have identical values. She is also physically attractive and in tip top shape and she claims the same of me. She did tell me on the first date she is a slow mover and I told her I respect that since I want to build a solid emotional connection as well. I have met some of her many friends and she has met my family and it was an overwhelming success on both counts. She is not as expressive or affectionate as I would like but I don't feel it's something insurmountable. I was also concerned she never invited me to her place or added me on Facebook but both those things have since been done.

I did tell her recently that while I respected her need to take it slow, I was growing increasingly fond of her and she is someone I really like. We did kiss after this but she still seemed lukewarm and gave confusing signals. Fast forward to date #9 and I finally asked her outright what was on her mind. She explained that she knew this conversation was coming and while she really likes me, thinks I am a great guy and a rare breed that she is attracted to and deep down wants a monogamous relationship, she told me that she is finding it unexpectedly difficult to be in a relationship after being single for so long and feels bad about having this internal conflict. She only recently moved on her own and is at that stage I was at two years ago enjoying that freedom so I can relate and I expressed as such as I had similar difficulties in my first relationship. I was satisfied with this answer and she expressed relief that I understood but today I am having anxious/confusing thoughts.

My question is how would you recommend I handle this? I obviously don't want to sit around hoping she will come around but she is pretty much a dream girl and I am sure her married friends will help her get over the hump. Is there something I can say or do to her to reassure her I won't control/ruin her life or make her do anything uncomfortable for her or should I just continue dating her in a platonic way and see where it leads? I suspect she is subconsciously thinking of her past bad relationship and doesn't want a repeat of that which I can VERY clearly relate to and while it's true that's not my responsibility, I cannot overemphasize this woman is by FAR the best I have ever dated and I do not want to let her slip out of my life even if it means just being a friend only.

Not sure what is on her mind either, but I think she is just being cautious, which is normal. Getting into a serious relationship is a big step, so I would give her more time until she is comfortable with you. In the meantime, I would suggest continuing to spend time with her and get to know each other better.

Would be nice to have a female perspective on this.

As the previous poster said, I would continue to see her. You never know what might happen. Maybe, one day, she'll throw herself on you!

I wouldn't "keep my eggs in one basket," though, unless you both express an explicit commitment to each other.

I will give a female perspective on this. I think that you should continue to see her if you really like her but I agree with "not putting all your eggs in one basket". I think it would be fine to go on a date with some other people in the mean time. It sounds like she probably is. Nothing you do will make her want a monogamous relationship if she isn't ready. That being said, if she seems genuinely interested in still dating you, give it time. My fiance brought up marriage after a few dates and I was like "whoa I don't even want a monogamous relationship", but after awhile I realized how nice it was to have him around and decided to give monogamy a try.

Hey, I was told the exact same thing recently!

Thanks for the advice so far. She told me that she is NOT going to be dating anyone else but while I expressed patience and understanding I was careful not make the same promise. I think the best thing to do is just see her with no expectations and allow her to escalate if she feels she is ready. She knows exactly how I feel and that I am ready to commit.

Many would claim that women often do not say what they mean but in her case I believe her 100% and believe she feels distressed being in this situation. I have struggled my whole life with impatience and this appears to be a great way to practice that patience.