How do I make up my mind?

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So, I am a 27 year old aspie, and I never dated. Over time, I just wanted to be friends with girls and just saying hi to them seemed a little bit creepy, so they ignored me. I took it personally. I can't help but segregate to only men and other girls I'm not physically attracted to. If a girl is too pretty, I would want to date her. I try to get the appearance part out of my head and try for someone who is good enough personality wise. There are a lot of girls that I would not date. I used to like this 22 year old girl, hung out with her as a friend, rode roller coaster rides, then went to an event. I was just being myself, but I guess either She just doesn't want a relationship so she keeps busying her self, but she always replies to my texts. eventually, I quit asking her out. I used to shame girls after meeting a 2nd girl and hanging out with her for a bit. for not giving the good guys a chance because they blew the first. Then, I kept asking if she wanted to hang out. Always replied "I'm busy", or she happens to be working, which really was the case because I incidentally showed up at her work just to say hi. It was awkward. The sad truth, the only way I think I can stop thinking about her is to take her off her facebook friend's list. She was nice. I wished her merry christmas, she wished me a merry christmas back. I wished her Happy Valentines day. replied with it back. she always replied to my texts. Usually late because she's busy. I known her for over a year. no official date yet. Tried to meet other women. All failed. I had an addiction problem of thinking about her too much, then I think to myself: "Why the hell should I like someone that doesn't want to put any effort in dating me at all?" and I found out a lot of girls are like that. I understand that women owe me nothing, so I should not expect anything for being kind and polite because a lot of guys are like that. I think some girls suck because they simply are just not interested in me. hated them, and let my heart break. This was the past me. I went through misogyny thoughts (kept it inside my head), due to rejection, then read /r/theredpill reddits. I hear that some seem true and some seem just misogynistic. I want to believe that women can love men at an equal value a man loves a woman, but I am just not seeing it. Now, I am just wanting to not care anymore. I do hate disney movies, seeing a man and a woman holding hands, even worse kissing. I'm jealous of course, but relationships can be overrated anyways. Marriages can be more overrated if my career isn't there especially when the woman wants to have kids and sometimes does, then there's the stress of taking care of them. I used to want to have kids, but I probably don't anymore. I like to be with my other guy friends, which NEVER invite me anywhere. I hate going out there, because I'm not used to socializing with others. I like to keep to myself. I'm a nice person, but of course that's not enough. Now, I accept women for who they are, and I want to give up on relationships. I am going to meet this girl again at the event, and just be casual. (we are just friends that only see each other at events). Please don't tell me "I'll find someone", because I'm tired of hearing it. Period. It's annoying, and frankly find it false hope. It's hard to not be attracted to someone that looks good, and being an aspie, I can't help but look at these girls and sometimes I smile. Some find it creepy, others smile back. I know very well a relationship isn't my first priority, but sadly as human as any other specie, most are attracted to opposite sex. However, Nikola Tesla, the inventor of electricity had no interest in relationships whatsoever, and he spend his life with electricity which changed the world of today. Being how my brain is wired, I know I can take 2 paths of my life: I can either try going out there again and try to meet new females and work on taking rejection not so hard, or I can just give up and learn not to care. I just don't know which one I can take. It's frustrating.

Not everything is black and white, 0 or 1, there is a third option that you haven't considered.

Option 3 - Enjoy your life and live it the best you can and keep your eyes open to the possibility that love may come along at a time you don't expect. You don't have to give up, but you can put looking for love lower down on your priority list. Choose another goal as a priority for the time being and work towards that instead.

Truthfully no one knows whether they will meet someone and have a relationship. So you may or may not meet someone, but you never know. So don't completely give up, just be laid back about it. Just say, if it happens it happens, if it doesn't it doesn't.

I know, it's easier said than done.

Option 3 is always the best option, in my opinion.

Really good point, Hurtloam!

Making up your mind consists of making a decision and sticking with it. No turning back and no complaining about the consequences. Looks like you have many options to choose, each with their consequences and some with better benefits than the other options.

Number 3 is easier said than done. I have been nothing but angry and frustrated. I naturally go out in public, and I am rude but I don't care. I just hate how my brain is wired. How the heck do I change a mindset, after having negativity beaten into me from childhood to adulthood? I was physically abused by women at a young age, so I end up having post traumatic stress disorder hating them for not caring. I need some serious therapy, but there's health insurance issues and it's not happening fast enough. Oh well, life is life. I hate being young only once. If I don't do anything before I get old, I'm going to regret it and be depressed, or hopefully not care.

I can do option 3, but I really need therapy badly to get over the fact that I didn't do too much when I was in high school but play video games.

I can do option 3, but I really need therapy badly to get over the fact that I didn't do too much when I was in high school but play video games.

could you split it into paragraphs, having a hard time reading. sorry

Well, the day is over, so here's the results:

I've known her for a year. Didn't have too much assertion due to my autism. Was confident, even though on Facebook, she may saw my confidence slip, but that doesn't matter. What I did was just go with the flow and be happy she hung out with me. I didn't expect anything. I could ask if she wants to do something fun, but she'll probably be busy. Since I kinda at least tried, even if I'm just her friend right now, I at least did the following things:

Told her how I liked how she was nice.
Was nice enough to surprise her a $4 beverage that she wanted, but didn't buy yet. I just let her give me $2 back. Again, just an act of kindness.
She quit school because she decided to go a different direction. told her she was good.

I'm just a nice guy, but I'm going to say it's time to just show "passive interest" in her. What I mean by that is, still be in contact with her from event to event. Just casual conversations. She probably knows I'm interested in her, but I don't care if she won't date me. I have video games, I'll probably get a cat to play with, watch anime, watch star trek, and most importantly worry about my personal goals. I can be happy single for the rest of my life.

Lesson to all the guys: Don't ever let your crush accidentally hurt you. Love just happens when not expected. Also: If she does something that makes her lose your respect (i.e. sleeping around with other guys, dating dumbo jerks, etc), cross her off your list. And, finally it's not all about her happiness it's also about yours. That's what a true relationship is about. Never dated and I know this.

Trying to think positive: (when negative things happen, we tend to think negative sometimes).
Need to find a career I'm passionate about. (need to get my foot out of my @$$ already).

I know this is fragmented, but this is how I write my mind on posts. Figured it's ok to let the full packaged autistic guy out here.