When is the right time to say "I love you."?

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A co-worker today asked me if I said the three words to my GF yet. I told him no and explained that I believe in going as long as possible without saying the words and instead showing by action. He knows a little bit about my past experiences and did mention that I should let go of the idea of not saying it. The fear of saying it is of two things:

1. I've said it to a couple people before and they didn't believe me (old Aspie self did love people for what they could do for them, not for who they were, so this one is understandable)
2. They seem to have the mentality of "I've now heard the words and I know I can have him. Who else is out there?"

My question to all of you;

When is the right time to say it? Would I just know when it happens? Either way I just want to know if you guys have any problems saying it to your gfs/bfs or believe you would have any problem with it.

When you are amid an intimate moment with the person, and you actually feel like you love her AT THAT MOMENT.

I only told one woman ever that I loved her. This was pretty early in the relationship (a few months) but I was very sure of my feelings and wanted her to know that before she was moving to another country. She didn't say anything in response then, she just hugged me. After more than a year later she finally told me that she loved me but she broke off with me shortly after to be with someone else. She could not tell me why.

My advice is:
Only tell someone that you love him/her if you really mean it. Otherwise you might end up hurting that person.

I don't really know when the right time is. But if you are in a commited relationship with your girlfriend, I would think that she would be happy to hear from you that you love her.

My experience is rather limited because I only ever truly loved one woman so far in my life.

Sometime after the first date, and before the wedding Ceremony.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLE3f0kWjoM[/youtube]

It's just words. Showing by action is so much better. My tactic is to only say it in response to wife saying it to me.

idk but I don't plan on doing it til the say it first.

in the past i've said it when I feel it but it always just makes it worse . I don't feel they want to hear it until they feel it even then I don't know anymore.

I am have no damn clue.

Ah, yes.
The three words that I've avoided like the plague. I want to be dead certain that someone is someone I'd like to spend my life with before saying it, myself. But for others... If it's true, say it when it feels strongest, and pray to the gods that your partner returns it.

I think the same way, prefer actions over words, but I guess this is different for everyone.

It is really up to you when you want to say it. If you really feel like saying it at the time, it will come off as more believable. One thing to keep in mind though is that women usually prefer to hear it said more often.

First, do not say it too soon. I usually agree with Kraftie, but not on this one. In my opinion the best scenario ussually goes something like this. Joking around. Somethings really funny and cute. Then someone blurts out "ha ha ha, and that's why I love you." Awkward silence,quickly covered with laughing and quick change of subject.

With that first step, you are putting things in place so that in a month that person will be a boyfriend/girlfriend or will still be comfortable being your good buddy.

As a woman, if I don't hear it by the end of the 2nd month of dating or after the 3rd time we've had sex, then I figure he's either Not That Into Me or emotionally unavailable. Either way, time to move on.

^ Why don't you tell him "I Love you?" first.


Aspiemike, I have a magical solution for you; simply ask her "Do you love me?".

Here, solved.

Sometimes I have been the one to say it first. If they hadn't been able to say it back to me, I DEFINITELY would have presumed a lack of interest or a lack of emotional availability then.

Actually Boo.... I know just how I am going to say it now. We have been talking about it for a while and I am certain we are meant to be. I am going to ask the very important question to her (more important than "do you love me?"n of course.)