don't know if I should keep trying to get a woman or not

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I'm 30 years old. I have never had a girlfriend. I have tried quite a lot but I just get rejected. And it's also that I'm very introvert and shy.

But maybe it's better to not have a woman?

I don't know if I have asperger. I might have asperger och schizotypal or something else. I have no friends. I am a paranoid neurotic loner, and women are not generally attracted to that kind of men.

I really don't know how to get a woman. But now I don't even know if I want one anymore. Marriage is not appealing to me because I am poor and live in a very small apartment, and I have no desire to have children.

Anyone in a similar situation? Never had a girlfriend and now have mixed feelings about whether you want to keep trying or not.

What should I do?

I have a hypothesis that people that are rejected and alienated are higher in the spiritual evolution. And that procreation only serves to make a soul reincarnate so that it can keep evolving. When you're rejected and alienated from people like I am, it's because you're so high in the evolution that you're not supposed to reincarnate. Your time on Earth is finished because it has served it's purpose, it's no longer needed.

well Tomato, i sure hope you are right. i want for this to be my last incarnation.

This reminds me of a line in the movie "A Knight's Tale" - "the poor can marry for love".

For what it's worth, I'm female, straight, single, 37 and have absolutely no desire to have children either.

I am so introvert and paranoid or whatever it is that I hate everybody and I can't even have a normal relationship with my parents. When I do meet them I feel a bit similar to how I often feel when I meet women; it's like they are trying to pull me out of my bubble and make me feel like I'm not God's chosen. I feel diminished whenever I interact with people. I feel like introversion is the right path, the path towards God. Yet I have this carnal desire for a woman, which ruins my life. I should perhaps just keep being alone and try to get rid of my desire for a woman. This is a picture of the goddess Isis from the book The Secret Teachings of All Ages by Manly P Hall:



The fact that she clearly is a very sexy woman, and almost totally nude, makes me think Isis might be the representation of the carnal desires, which a spiritual seeker should try to overcome. But I don't know. There are also grapes, whatever that means. Alcohol is haram in Islam. But apparently Jews are encouraged to drink alcohol, which I totally don't understand. Behind Isis' head is a snake biting it's own tail; might represent the incarnation back to the eternal cycle of suffering if you don't overcome worldly desires. But I don't know. f*k this life.

This is from Gospel of Thomas, a gnostic scripture:

That sounds a lot like me. It seems to go hand in hand with the life and worldview that I feel you can't have if you choose the worldly, such as women. Women are attracted to men with power and money, yet another example. Good luck being a paranoid neurotic loner with no desire to grow in the physical plane, being asperger, schizotypal, schizophrenic or whatever, and at the same time getting a woman that looks or behaves decently, not going to happen. But if the choice is between women and God, I choose God. But my body doesn't seem to, which is why I hate my body and its desires.



Another quote from Gospel of Thomas:



This is why I feel that life is much like in The Matrix. I am Neo, women are part of the agents, and they only try to drag you down into the matrix, or keep you from rising out of the matrix. And notice how Neo is becoming less successful and more mad, while someone like his unspiritual boss is what you have to be to get women:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c_Ot1OEfk9I[/youtube]

I'd rather be labelled mad by everybody and be small but be initiated spiritually, than please the world and be looked up upon by the world, and sacrificing spirituality. Sadly I feel like I'm in a spiritual desert right now though. I feel much less spiritual than a year ago.

Last edited by tomato on 03 Sep 2014, 3:06 am, edited 2 times in total.

I like that picture...! Hmm grapes and grain - the bounties of the earth, aptly represented over her breasts which are the first source of nourishment.. Isn't the snake eating its own tail the ouroboros - yes representing life begetting life...

I've heard of that book! Years ago I saw a copy of it selling on ebay for hundreds... I used to buy occult books on ebay but no money for that now!

It sounds like you've already answered your own question, aside from the problem of the "carnal desires". Luckily, that's relatively easily solved using prostitutes.