Amanda Marie's question

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Does this happen to others on this thread (or this site)? My daughter is 26 (AS and EFD) and this is the sort of thing that happens between her and her boyfriend often. (Actually not just with her boyfriend - she loses track of time/tries to plan on the run and disappoints/annoys others too.)

He gets quite upset and tells her to just not come over, that he will call her when he is less angry, etc. and she feels terrible. Ordinarily, I think that a man berating a woman and making her feel bad about herself is kind of abusive, but at the same time, I understand his frustration.

So I guess I have several questions:
1) Does this happen often to women with Asperger's, or have you all found a way to avoid it?
2) If you have found a way to not let this sort of thing happen, what did you do? Did you get help from
someone (friend, family or professional), or did you work it through yourself?
3) How do I tell whether he is being controlling, or just irritated by her unawareness of time?

My wife lives in an alien time zone. One hour to her is like 8 hours earth time. When finding a companion, a person like that needs one who will accept it and not make an issue of it. Because if they make an issue of it, it will be a friction point over and over and over and over and over... She probably can do things to improve the situation at key times (like work), but will likely never lose that abstract understanding/experience of time. But all people have quirks, and a few are usually types that can not really change, so there's a give and take. Couples probably have 1-2 things each that the other just accepts, or they fight incessantly over it.

1) I looked up efd, and these seem more so to be traits of that, but aspergers may be tied in

2) I did struggle a little with this, and once I was old enough and my parents let me learn the consequences myself, then I learned

3) Does he do this with other people, or just her?

Thank you, Toy Soldier. My daughter is always very remorseful when she realizes that she has disappointed someone, but doesn't seem to have any idea she is doing it at the time. I can remind her of what has happened before, and she remembers how she felt, but it seems not to come into her mind that she's doing it again. I think the Executive Function Disorder comes in here - she cannot picture her future self being late and making someone upset.

FireyInspiration -

I think he does. She has told me that when he is upset at something or someone, he stays depressed or angry and not very communicative for a while, and can't seem to let things go.

You might also look on her thread for the answers given there.