LDR for Autism and Asperger

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Well hello dear Asperger, Autistic or any similar sympton owner! It's been a long while since I've been on this forum. Anyway. Not only me, but as many other Autists have or may have issues with this: LDRs.

What are they? Long Distance Relationships. In a nutshell: A couple who isn't physically together. It may have been due to a partner moving away, or more commonly, starting one alike. I'll first tell my story, and up next I'll provide some discussion valuable questions! So, let's get started.

In my 16th birthday, some months ago, exactly on that day, a girl I'd met online in a chat had contact me on Skype. She had previously had problems and kept adding and deleting me again due to her boyfriend. We did Skype once long ago, but forgot how it was like. On that day she called me to wish me congratulations on my birthday. As always, the friendly and polite me thanked and we talked and so on. Some days later, we were normal text chatting. I thought she was acting weird, shy but blushy-alike. I discussed eith one of my friends and she said that she probably is into me, likes me and so on. I thought "Well, I've been single for so long, it's worth a shot to make her happy!" And so I did, RPed as usual, kissing her. And damn was I right! We started chatting and skyping often, trusting more each other and getting intimate. And it went like that most of the time until now. We'be been togrther for about 6 and half months!

But... It's a long distance relationship. While yes it does provide some positive points, the negative hit quite deep. I've had times where I'd break up with her because of that. At the start I wanted to be together with her as kinda of pleasing a person. Now I'm only with her because I couldn't find any person better. She's wonderful, though strange. She's kind and cute and says she'll never leave me and always love me. She doesn't want to be heart-broken like her last bf did. And some other much more crazy and private stuff.

LDR may not always be accepted by others. In my case, I'm literally still single to everyone else. I never had a real girlfriend. I'm quite shy and lack social skills due to my AS. I spend so much time alone that thr internet is my realm. Opposite to most Autistic persons, I'd really do a hug or cuddle sometimes. This are some really low points on a LDR. It's been literally killing me. And the worst is, it'll be a while until I can meet her for the first time.

What should I do? What can I make to live with it? How do I tell it to my family? Will we ever come together? This are questions not only I, but you do too pose. I can't really fully awnser them, but from my own experience and other people's thoughts, I'll give it a shot.

What a people texts, says the body otherwise. A texted blush can be as fake as it is real. Depends on how honest (and evtl. How good this person is at RPing).

Clear your mind. What's the best way to not get sad over your lover? Not thinking about it! Do your hobbies or find something to entertain your mind with.

Do the best to stay in touch. Chatting is the best way currently for that. When you can and have privacy, Skype with your lover. A smile from her or him can push your mood up very quickly.

Accept the distance. It is hard, but it is what it is. We humans haven't devloped yet to emotionally survive a LDR. It's a fight againts our instincts. Plan to travel to your lover, 2 weeks of actually being a couple will do wonders.

If it ends, it ends. Break-ups are always going to happen, no matter what type of relationship: The worst about relationships is that you know you're either leaving or marrying this person.

What do you think about this tips? Share your personal experiences to make DLR a bigger sucess. Autistic people deserve intimate love, either local or not.

I apologize for any confusing not related sentences. I also apologize if I focus too much on me or a topic. Although I'd like some awnsers for myself too. Also, sorry for the lack of formating!

My thoughts/opinions on LDRs:

The one relationship I've been in was LDR. For me, that was the perfect solution, the perfect way to interact, the perfect way to be together. For the other person it did not. He was desperate to meet up and was down about it, and that was the only part of it that was negative for me. LDR suits me very well.

If someone think LDR doesn't qualify then quite frankly they can take a hike. My feelings for him were no less intense or valid than the feelings people who (like me) are asexual and borderline aromantic have for romantic partners IRL. I make a point of saying that I am these things because IDK how important my being asexual and borderline aromantic is. The fact that I really want the type of relationship that is called companionable love might matter.
While it lasted I would never have looked at anyone else IRL or online. I took it every bit as seriously as I would a RL relationship.

For me LDR is all the good things about relationships (communicating, connecting, feeling the warmth etc) without the bad (sex, having to live together, having to deal with someone else's ways in my/our home, being physically touched, losing time for one's hobbies etc).

The 3 relationships I had were long distance. We met on forums & I moved in with my 3rd girlfriend a couple years ago & we're a pretty good couple. We chatted most everyday before I moved & I think that helped bring us closer together. I think LDRs & online relationships are real relationships if the people in them take them seriously.

This relationship and the last one I've had have both been to some degree long distance, but not vast distances.

The first one I met him in another state visiting a friend and we would chat online a lot. Eventually we decided to date and we were able to see each other- not frequently at first, but we at least knew we got along around each other and felt physically comfortable next to each other. We wanted to be near each other.

The second one I actually knew online for a while and then met in person at a group event. We continued to engage online and eventually realized "OOOH we like each other". but again, we were only able to occasionally see each other.

Now we live close and see each other often- we still chat online about every day. We've been together, with one period of time apart in the middle, for about nine years.

I never committed to either of these people without meeting them in person and honestly I personally think to do so would be foolhardy. ...but that's for me, what I want, in my circumstance, and what works for me.

But when I was a teenager, 6 months was forever. It wasn't clear to me how far away you are from this person, how often you might get to see them [ do you know?].

But... she seemed to like you and be considering you as more than a friend, a possible romantic interest when she already had a boyfriend.

Not to be a downer but... is it for certain that's not going to be a continuing behavior? How to be sure in a long distance relationship and what makes this situation different from the last?
I mean, that's what I would wonder.

I just cant really see the point in one, what would be the point in being with someone I never hang out with in person. I mean if I was with someone and they where moving somewhere I'd never be able to see them except maybe very rare occasions I don't think I could deal with that. But that is just my perspective, letters, emails and phone calls to me are hardly a substitute for actually spending time with someone...especially long term.

But to each their own I certainly don't judge people in LDRs or who prefer them.