Should I dump her?

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My girl and I have been dating for a month now. I have been pouring everything into this relationship and she barely gives anything back. I want to be able to hold her and kiss her when we're alone together. I want to cuddle and just love eachother. But lately all we have been doing is walking around the halls and talking. I told her that I want more intimacy but nothing has happened. What I want out of this relationship she's just not giving to me.

Yes, break up with her. She does not want physical intimacy and you do. Don't force it.

You've only been going out for a month and you're relatively young. Chances are she just wants to take things slow if she is actually emotionally interested in you...

Ummmmm??.you're 17, right? So, how old is she?

I'm assuming we're talking high school age here. You really, REALLY don't need to be getting into this kind of relationship at this point in your life.

Also, all relationships have a life cycle. They will ALL end eventually, one way or the other. You need to think about that very carefully. The slower you allow the relationship to progress, the longer-lived it will be. Teenage romance burns bright, hot, and fast--like the largest red giant stars in the universe, the bigger they are the faster they burn. Your relationship is about to burn out, and that supermassive implosion will be spectacular to see. And like stars burning out, nobody wants to be anywhere close to it when it happens.

If you must absolutely insist on keeping this relationship going, slow the freak down. I think a breakup is on the way anyway, so if you end it now you're doing both yourselves a favor. If it's going to be a forever type of relationship, you need to relax your expectations. I think as it is you're being unreasonable.

Not that it matters, but I've been with my wife for 15 years as of today, married for 9 years as of yesterday. I don't like to think about our relationship ending, but it will one day. If this is going to be a lifelong gig, we have to take it nice and easy each day that we're together. Probably 98% we're on the same page, and our relationship works extremely well. You seem to me to be skipping straight to the end. Be aware.

i would test things out. i'd say,"let's hold hands." (not in school, but in a sort of private area). Then stick out your hand. if she takes it, as other posters have said, maybe she just wants to go slow. or maybe she was waiting for you to lead the encounter.

It's important you know that she owes you nothing. I don't know what "pouring everything" is exactly, but no matter how much you give her, you're not entitled to be kissed or whatever.

I think you have your head in the wrong place, if you're really only concerned about physical intimacy you shouldn't be in a relationship. I mean, it's awesome, but walking and talking is probably equally as awesome to her. Especially given it's only been a month, she's probably more concerned about getting to know you.

Do you know how she feels about this? Have you expressed a desire for more, and has she responded openly about why or why not? If she does give you an honest why not, you have to respect it too and not try to force the issue.

I'm going to post something contrary to most of the other responses here and say that age has nothing to do with this.

If the OP wants a more physically intimate relationship and his girlfriend does not, then they're incompatible and he should consider breaking up with her and keeping an eye out for someone he's more compatible with.

I'd say the same thing to anyone in his situation, regardless of age.

I would agree in principle about the age thing. Age doesn't really matter when you're dealing with normal adult relationships.

The issue is this doesn't account for actual practice, especially when you apply it to teenaged relationships. You have to consider variables such as maturity, which is widely variable between 14-18 (and, honestly, even older than that). You have to account for career/educational goals. You have to account for levels of parental involvement. You have to account for social pressures (how are things friends say affecting her perception of the relationship?). And I haven't even touched hormonal flux of the teen years.

There's a bigger picture here that influences compatibility, and I think a better focus would be on what priorities one needs to maintain during that stage of life. Intimate relationships are not the best choices one can make within that phase of life.

No, don't dump her. She probably just wants to get to know you first and you've only been dating for a month. A month is a very short time to have been dating in the long term and probably due to your age and her's she may just not be comfortable with getting intimate yet as it may even be her first time if she does. Just give her time and don't pressure her.

With all due respect, it's natural for teenagers to have that kind of relationship at that age, in fact even younger. That's when most people start having those kinds of feelings.

Who are we tell tell the OP what he should want out of a relationship? He knows what he wants & what type of person would be compatible with him in this moment. If the girl he's dating doesn't fit the criteria he has, they're not compatible with one another. Maybe they could discuss it further (it sounds like he's already tried to communicate this with her) but otherwise I see this heading towards splitsville.

True; I think many of the AS guys' struggles in dating are due to their non-experience during teenage years.

Ok, so between the two of us, this relationship is screwed on two sides. I agree wholeheartedly on your last point.

If he's ok with sacrificing study time and/or career building then nothing I say is going to be helpful. If you don't care about having that kind of freedom early in life, ignore everything I say. It's not my place to make anyone's mind. All I can say is I've done things early in life that heavily impacted my education and career plans negatively. I hate seeing others repeat those same mistakes. And it isn't that the damage is irreversible...you can come back from it. I just think if you can spare yourself unnecessary uphill battles and keep the higher ground you already have, you can avoid the frustrations probably most "normal" people get into.

Agreed...and it's distracting.

Yeah, it's when "most people" start having those feelings. "Most people" or "normal" people pursue those things as though those things are all that matter. "Normal" people wander aimlessly from one broken heart to the next searching for "the one" to make every dream come true while ignoring what's really important.

"Normal" people are stupid. I'm glad I'm weird.