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Yuzu
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15 Oct 2014, 3:58 pm

I'm so bad at texting with people I barely know. But it's almost unavoidable nowadays when you meet someone new.
What do you text about when you don't know the person really well? Are they mostly consist of pointless chitchat?



The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Oct 2014, 4:51 pm

Basically, yes.



Stargazer43
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15 Oct 2014, 4:59 pm

I don't text them. Initially I would text basically a bunch of, as you say, useless chit-chat. Nowadays, I use texting exclusively to set up dates with someone new, to tell them that I had a good time on said dates, or to mention/ask about any major events in either of our lives. I find that this works better than trying to force some sort of set communication frequency early on.



Yuzu
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15 Oct 2014, 6:11 pm

Stargazer43 wrote:
I don't text them. Initially I would text basically a bunch of, as you say, useless chit-chat. Nowadays, I use texting exclusively to set up dates with someone new, to tell them that I had a good time on said dates, or to mention/ask about any major events in either of our lives. I find that this works better than trying to force some sort of set communication frequency early on.


So no "hi how are you?" "good morning" "how was your day?" texts?

I wonder if texting is uninteresting meeting in person with them would be the same.



yellowtamarin
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15 Oct 2014, 7:56 pm

Yuzu wrote:
Stargazer43 wrote:
I don't text them. Initially I would text basically a bunch of, as you say, useless chit-chat. Nowadays, I use texting exclusively to set up dates with someone new, to tell them that I had a good time on said dates, or to mention/ask about any major events in either of our lives. I find that this works better than trying to force some sort of set communication frequency early on.


So no "hi how are you?" "good morning" "how was your day?" texts?

I wonder if texting is uninteresting meeting in person with them would be the same.

I don't usually send those either with someone early on. Especially not "good morning". Instead I try to meet up with them again asap so we can get through the awkward "what is the right thing to say" phase as quickly as possible.

Wait, after reading the last line of yours again, are you saying that you haven't met them at all in person? I don't text at all before meeting for the first time, unless it is "sorry running a bit late!" or "I'm sitting at the third table on the left".



Stargazer43
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15 Oct 2014, 8:14 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
Yuzu wrote:
Stargazer43 wrote:
I don't text them. Initially I would text basically a bunch of, as you say, useless chit-chat. Nowadays, I use texting exclusively to set up dates with someone new, to tell them that I had a good time on said dates, or to mention/ask about any major events in either of our lives. I find that this works better than trying to force some sort of set communication frequency early on.


So no "hi how are you?" "good morning" "how was your day?" texts?

I wonder if texting is uninteresting meeting in person with them would be the same.

I don't usually send those either with someone early on. Especially not "good morning". Instead I try to meet up with them again asap so we can get through the awkward "what is the right thing to say" phase as quickly as possible.

Wait, after reading the last line of yours again, are you saying that you haven't met them at all in person? I don't text at all before meeting for the first time, unless it is "sorry running a bit late!" or "I'm sitting at the third table on the left".


Agreed. I hate the "hi how are you" or "good morning" texts, especially if you haven't even met the person yet!



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15 Oct 2014, 8:24 pm

I usually just text to set up meeting up in person...and not just with people I might be dating, with anyone I don't like chit chat texting I prefer texting to be straightforward and to the point and accomplish something such as meeting up. I also don't like talking on the phone aside to arrange things.


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Yuzu
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15 Oct 2014, 8:39 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
Yuzu wrote:
Stargazer43 wrote:
I don't text them. Initially I would text basically a bunch of, as you say, useless chit-chat. Nowadays, I use texting exclusively to set up dates with someone new, to tell them that I had a good time on said dates, or to mention/ask about any major events in either of our lives. I find that this works better than trying to force some sort of set communication frequency early on.


So no "hi how are you?" "good morning" "how was your day?" texts?

I wonder if texting is uninteresting meeting in person with them would be the same.

I don't usually send those either with someone early on. Especially not "good morning". Instead I try to meet up with them again asap so we can get through the awkward "what is the right thing to say" phase as quickly as possible.

Wait, after reading the last line of yours again, are you saying that you haven't met them at all in person? I don't text at all before meeting for the first time, unless it is "sorry running a bit late!" or "I'm sitting at the third table on the left".


I'm texting with 2 people. One I haven't met yet and he sends "good morning" texts. I've sort of asked him out but he dodged it without actually giving me an answer. And he says very vague stuff like "I was gonna see if there was something to do. A coffee shop would be nice" What the hell does he mean? Is he suggesting that WE should go to a coffee shop together or by himself? So weird.
The other one I met at a gig and had a short conversation with. Texting with him is actually kinda fun and he already suggested that we hang out sometime. So I might just as well.



yellowtamarin
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15 Oct 2014, 9:05 pm

Yuzu wrote:
yellowtamarin wrote:
Yuzu wrote:
Stargazer43 wrote:
I don't text them. Initially I would text basically a bunch of, as you say, useless chit-chat. Nowadays, I use texting exclusively to set up dates with someone new, to tell them that I had a good time on said dates, or to mention/ask about any major events in either of our lives. I find that this works better than trying to force some sort of set communication frequency early on.


So no "hi how are you?" "good morning" "how was your day?" texts?

I wonder if texting is uninteresting meeting in person with them would be the same.

I don't usually send those either with someone early on. Especially not "good morning". Instead I try to meet up with them again asap so we can get through the awkward "what is the right thing to say" phase as quickly as possible.

Wait, after reading the last line of yours again, are you saying that you haven't met them at all in person? I don't text at all before meeting for the first time, unless it is "sorry running a bit late!" or "I'm sitting at the third table on the left".


I'm texting with 2 people. One I haven't met yet and he sends "good morning" texts. I've sort of asked him out but he dodged it without actually giving me an answer. And he says very vague stuff like "I was gonna see if there was something to do. A coffee shop would be nice" What the hell does he mean? Is he suggesting that WE should go to a coffee shop together or by himself? So weird.
The other one I met at a gig and had a short conversation with. Texting with him is actually kinda fun and he already suggested that we hang out sometime. So I might just as well.

Ugh, first one is frustrating. I've dealt with that a few times. Vague messages that are talking around meeting up (and yes he does mean with you, not by himself, but he's being very non-proactive about it) but not actually asking specific questions or suggesting specific things. I *think* he expects you do then put in the work and maybe suggest the place and time. I could be wrong about that though. In those situations I try to get them back on track with actual details, like I might say "coffee shop sounds great, just let me know a place and time :)"

Second one, considering you met at a gig, I think it's fair to send flirty texts, since it was most likely a flirty kind of situation from the beginning, yeah? You don't have anywhere else like online to continue the conversation so it may as well be over text. I like this one already. Go for it :)



Yuzu
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15 Oct 2014, 9:44 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
Ugh, first one is frustrating. I've dealt with that a few times. Vague messages that are talking around meeting up (and yes he does mean with you, not by himself, but he's being very non-proactive about it) but not actually asking specific questions or suggesting specific things. I *think* he expects you do then put in the work and maybe suggest the place and time. I could be wrong about that though. In those situations I try to get them back on track with actual details, like I might say "coffee shop sounds great, just let me know a place and time :)"

Second one, considering you met at a gig, I think it's fair to send flirty texts, since it was most likely a flirty kind of situation from the beginning, yeah? You don't have anywhere else like online to continue the conversation so it may as well be over text. I like this one already. Go for it :)


I'm losing interest in the first one already. I don't like people who are vague. I've already asked him if he wants to attend an exclusive gig event but all he said was he would be interested and asked some questions about it but didn't give a yes or no.
So I think I might take the other guy with me. I was a bit apprehensive about him because he was very aggressive, cocky and drunk (and very flirty) when I met him. But through texting today I can see he can write (no txt spk) and gave me clear answers to the questions I asked about him so I think he is worth a try :D

Edit: the first guy just texted me saying "we should grab a coffee sometime" I'm not feeling it though.



yellowtamarin
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15 Oct 2014, 10:05 pm

Yuzu wrote:
Edit: the first guy just texted me saying "we should grab a coffee sometime" I'm not feeling it though.

At times like those I just want to reply "ok" or "yes, I agree" or something else just as non-committal, and hope that they see how vague they were being. (They won't see it, though, so there's no point.)