If affection isn't reciprocated quickly is there none?

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I just got back a few hours ago from a second date with a woman. I really like her. She's attractive and smart and we have so many similar interests. She's expressed an interest in seeing me again, but I don't know if she likes me or not. I wish I knew what she was thinking, if she liked me too. As is I worry I'm just setting myself up for disappointment again. Like, if she liked me, wouldn't she be more enthusiastic, or text me more often? I text her periodically and she answers me back, but she's never texted me. I've always initiated.

I so want to find someone who finds me desirable, and it means a lot to know this, even if its just a text or call that is spur of the moment, and not in response to a previous message. Just to know she's thinking of me like I'm thinking of her.

Like, after our last date, I texted her saying what a good time I had, and apologizing if I seemed awkward at times, because I'm like that when I'm with someone I like. I said I hoped to see her again soon, and I wished her a good night.

She responded without comment to the first part of the message, simply wishing me a good night too.

Have I blown things already? Or did she never like me? How do I know if I girl likes me?

(Alert: Sweeping generalization based on my personal observation only)

Based on my personal exp, yes, women tend to either like or not like the guy since date 1 or first meetup, they make up their minds quickly: No attraction at first = never will be.

While men are way more willing to give second chances to develop things even if they're unsure whether they like her or not yet.

That's also due to the difference in options, any fairly attractive woman can have a date every day if she wants (theoretically if she has nil standards), while a fairly attractive man can't do it that much no matter how low his standards are.

That's also why you hear much more of guys falling in love with intimate female friends than vice versa, while you hear much more of female friends complaining about guy friends trying to take friendship further than vice versa as well.

Hmm tricky one Bri. I have occasionally been on more than one date with a guy and been wondering "how do I feel about this guy? I think I might like him but I'm not sure yet..." and when I'm in that phase, I try not to show too much interest so I don't get their hopes up or whatever. It's possible this is what she's going through. Also I've recently been an advice friend for a guy trying to date a girl who really wasn't giving him any positive signals as to her interest. No negative ones, just no positive ones either. Some girls are like that. They take things very slowly. Third option is she is not interested. Haha I'm such a great help aren't I.

Oh also, how do you tell if a girl likes you? Well I'm not great with girls but I'll reverse it. On my most recent second date the guy said "I've had a great time" at the end and I said I did too but then asked "Have you really? It's hard to tell with you" because I couldn't tell for sure (maybe he was just being polite) and wanted to know. I got my answer. So maybe just ask?

if she's a "Rules" girl you're f****d up lol.

"Don't Discuss The Rules with Your Therapist"

Hahahahaha I wonder why that might be!

Because any professional therapist would expose how stupid and unfounded this book is.

I was going to go a bit further and say they'd put you away, but sure

This is like in Robocop 2.

Robocop was programmed with numerous prime directives and made him into a total wimp.

A girl told me that she has allot of standards. This right here explains where she might have gotten it from.

That book has a lot of good stuff. I'd say there's a lot of just plain, common sense there.

But some of those last few rules are disturbing?don't discuss with parents/friends/therapist? Um?hello? Abusive men use tactics such as isolating women from family/friends. Men don't do relationship therapy as it is (those who do don't understand that therapy is a final step in the break-up process. If you're going to therapy, go ahead and start getting your affairs in order). Pimps use that to control prostitutes. And religious cult leaders use that to control their followers.

It's seemingly innocuous, but those rules are in place to encourage total dependence. They want you to buy the next book!! !

The first few rules:

Be a ?Creature Unlike Any Other"
Makes sense?shouldn't we all be doing this anyway? Of course, what does the author mean by that?

Don't Talk to a Man First (and Don't Ask Him to Dance)
Uh?what if the reason a man you're interested in isn't talking to you is because your behavior suggests you're unapproachable? Um?what century are we living in? Go ahead and ask me out!

Don't Stare at Men or Talk Too Much
That's just good manners.

Don't Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date
Agree. Whoever asks someone on a date, be it the man or the woman, is asking for that person's time and the pleasure of his or her company. I think if you want that time bad enough, you should be willing to compensate that person for it by providing respectable entertainment. Going Dutch just sends a bad message, even if there's nothing fundamentally wrong with it. It says your gift isn't good enough and I don't care to accept it, which has a negative psychological impact. Personally, I could be attracted to a girl who will fight me for the dinner bill because that's just playful. But again, it's all about the message. The person asking for a date should pay the whole bill.

Don't Call Him and Rarely Return His Calls
I think if a woman is attracted to a man or likes talking to a man, go ahead and call. What no one should EVER do is make frequent, obsessed, creepy-dude/chick calls. Always give someone time to miss you, and take a hint if they stop picking up the phone.

Always End Phone Calls First
If you must, set a time limit. But always ending calls first? We're just playing games here, and that's not something I'm a big fan of.

Don't Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday
To me, this makes sense. If you're a guy asking a girl out, asking her out for Saturday after Wednesday is just bad manners. You're trying to rush her, and she may have already had plans. Sure, ask her out AFTER Wednesday if you absolutely hate her.

The reverse is also true. A woman shouldn't ask a man out for Friday/Saturday after Wednesday?he might already have plans, too. I'm the kind of guy, btw, who'd ask a woman out one or two weeks in advance. Of course, she could cancel, especially if it's a big ticket item like a sports event or a concert. But, then again, if I'm meeting a "friend" for lunch, I'd casually mention that I've got two tickets for Brantley Gilbert if she'd be interested in going with me.

playing all these rules and hard to get roles sucks. why can't people just be real with one another?

They can. It works really well for me. Like other qualities that I look for in a partner, one of them is "not a game player". Just like I might have a desired quality um "is great with kids", it's going to narrow the pool, but if you keep looking you may just find someone great who fits that quality.

I guess the argument against what I'm saying is that a person might be ideal for you except that he/she has been brainwashed to follow the dating rules and all that, so it should be tolerated and you'll get past it. True...although the type of person I want to be with would think for themselves and decide the rules are stupid.

I've always hated rules, too many and too hard to follow. and games suck even worse.

My personal experience is the opposite from yours. So it's probably safe to say there are both types in both genders.

Maybe it's a matter who asks first / initiate rather than gender?
Do you ask out your dates first?

^ Come to think of it, the ones who didn't give me the second chance I contacted them first and the ones I did not give second chances to, contacted me first. (sorry for the butchered grammar)
So yeah you might be right.

Just be patient and don't force the situation. Overthinking and needing validation (Apologizing for frivolous things like "seeming awkward") will have a better chance of hurting things. Just let things come naturally and enjoy the time you spend together, talking or in person.