Why Not "Just Be Yourself"

Post Reply New Topic

Read this, suckers
http://www.sosuave.com/articles/whynot.htm

That site, sosuave.com, it seems very dodgy. I would not trust it. Firstly, sosuave.com is a stupid name. Secondly, the advice is absurd. For example, look at this article:

http://www.sosuave.com/articles/notscrewup.htm

It advocates treating women like dogs!! ! Here is a quote from that article:

Punishment and Reward! Like you were training a dog! It is appalling. Following this sort of advice will have exactly the opposite of the desired effect. sosuave.com = path to failed relationships.

Controlling a woman like you would a dog, reword and punishment. There was an interesting TV program about controlling men like you would a dog.

I know that in a job work environment reword, punishment is the key to good management. In ways it helped America to become rich, where potential rewords hard work are great because it is easier to become rich in a country like this. To be lazy in America is bad news, were they is very little state support. Even religion has caught onto this reword and punishment philosophy with Hell and Heaven.

I am always on the hunt for new articles and I will never except one that do not follow the natural lows of evolution or conflict to greatly with other articles or books I have read.
My general philosophy is to find someone special it helps to be an Alpha Male. I am going to buy a gorilla teddy to remind myself of this.

Exactly. Do the people who made this stuff up not want equality in their relationships?
Or do they want a woman who has no brain and therefore can't think for herself?

If they want a relationship like this they can pay a visit to their local pet shop.

At the moment I am not in a relationship, it just does not seem to happen much for me my only choice at the moment is to be alone. So it is time to simply try something else. And put my trust in those who understand the natural laws of evolution, the people of science and logic. Not the romantic types who have no low level understanding of why they are successful to woman because it comes natural to them in the subconscious brain.

I don’t think I have any unhealthy attitude, I am about to find out what attitude works for me. At this point I guess you might say that you don’t have to be controlling just confident. But my confidence as an Aspie comes over a bit weird, for example when someone puts me down, instead of telling then to shut their trap, I try to analyse why they said what they did, often by talking to them calmly.

I did read the artical of the link you gave me, and it is sound to me.

this is a stupid site with some stupid articles.
but this JBY thing ....is sometimes true .....sometimes most guys who get girls don't they just be themselves ....but they prentend to be something else ....a something that I can't do because I can only be myself .....sadly.

Nothing like treating others like you would want to be treated. Some of these gimmicks might work but the person doing this is not being respectful and so the relationship is built on a bad foundation. The long term effects of being in a relationship with someone you treat like a dog and have no respect for - what about if you have kids with that person. Do you think they will appreciate Mom being treated like a dog or does the same advice apply to the kids too. I also don't think that men should be treated like dogs either; just because someone else may have done an article or show being insulting to men doesn't make behaving that way towards women or anyone else allright.

"punishment and reward" ok the first guy that tried that one on me would find himself on the sore end of the punishment gig, in a relationship you should not be thinking of things in the terms of punishing or rewarding someone

baby

If I have kids I will also try the reword punishment methodology on them because it is proven and it works.
Super Nany(http://www.channel4.com/health/microsites/S/supernanny/) uses them anyway using those techniques too. Have some kids, would I be so lucky to think ahead. First don’t I need to get past the “I love you” stage first? I can tell you that no woman had said to me, ever! I am 32 years old man. I am poor, single and I have Aspergers Syndrome before you know it I will be old too and my option will be more limited. Being older would be might be ok if your social skill are good, but having Asperger Syndrome makes it worse.

SuperNanny is awesome, but I think it is very misleading to describe her technique as "reward and punishment". Also, please let us not try to learn about dating by watching SuperNanny -- they are 2 completely different issues! She is SuperNanny, not SuperDater. It is like asking Superman to construct a nuclear power plant for you.

Manipulation may work in the short term but eventually the person being tricked will discover what is being done and then you have alot of resentment and anger to deal with. There is a whole school of thought that it is perfectly acceptable to manipulate people - and even some therapists buy into that. But it really is a quick fix that is more about the ability to control a person than to have a relationship with them. I think it is not the best option when parenting because the child may get confused that they are only loved when they comply. Or they may become materialistic and feel that unless they "get something out of it" they will not do anything. People do a variety of things to win favor with a significant other - it just doesn't seem like using strictly reward/punishment is going to help to achieve a successful relationship.

The law of nature seems to favour the reword punishment system. Any other approach based on social morality is destined to failure take Communism and Marxist for example. I do understand that nearly all people don’t like to be manipulated this way, so it is what I would expect. But as I have learned what people say and what the do is a completely deferent thing.

I would like to point out that the most successful religions, based on how many members subscribe, use the reword and punishment system in buckets. Lesser successful religions like Hinduism and Buddhism don’t use the punishment/reword system that extensively they simply say that what you do has a baring in your after life, but they don’t say you will be tortured by fire and brimstone.

I was a Evangelical Christian and I took the laws as absolute truth of the universe. When the logic started to crumble and I started to poke around for the truth. I eventually learned that I was simply a victim of the punishment reword system that was based on a lie. So I became very pissed of, big time.

But for the majority of the populations, especially NTs, they never find out and never seem to question the system at all. In fact at my church there was a lot of woman 5 woman to every man probably more.

Most women would be attracted to this simply because it is a form of social and survival skills. Social manipulation skills > social skills > power.

You are quite correct about religions using reward and punishment. This is because religions are highly manipulative, and see walk-in-the-rain's message about manipulation. They are basically big long-running scams. To treat a person using the same techniques that religion uses is to mistreat and abuse the person IMHO.

That article was the biggest sack of crap I've ever read. Those people are just posting that BS in order to make themselves look good, and steal our cash. Being yourself is easily the most badass thing you could ever do.

I almost started to believe you about it being crap, so I had to read it again. The advice is good.

Why have people who are not themselves not died of with the dinosaurs. How comes they are not all or mostly gone. If being yourself and not trying a virtue then mother nature would grant everyone the desire to be themselves like it has given almost everyone the desire for love.

Mother natures creatures do no have inherit negative consistently behaviour without a reason, if you cannot find out why then the ultimate conclusion is that it is not a nagative behaviour.

I will never stop saying this The Theory Of Evolution Explains All.

I'm digging up this old thing just because coming across this thread happened to coincide with having just spend a good amount of time thinking about the issue. (Don't know if there's a more recent thread about this.) The way I see it is that "Just be yourself" and "Be yourself" are two completely different things:

Just be yourself: Do nothing, and keep whatever attitudes and tracks of thought you might have, even if they lead to too much second-guessing, anxiety and being locked socially.

Be yourself: Get in tune with the person you really are, and be that to the utmost and fullest. Instead of trying to become something that's not you, try to develop yourself within the potential you already have.

Yeah, that's as vague as vague gets, but that's the way I see it anyway, and it illustrates why I think that being oneself can be either a self-obstructive rut or a healthy attitude in life. I've been trying to put that idea to practice for a short while now. Let's see where it'll take me.