Please tell me it gets better. Please tell me there's love

Post Reply New Topic

Another date. Another rejection. Met a gal at a coffee shop for a few hours. She's a single mom, who adopted her foster child. I've never considered dating someone with kids, but thought it'd be good for me to try. To prove to myself I'm not so choosy. And she was a terrific woman. I really enjoyed the date and hearing her talk about her life.

Later I messaged her telling her what I great time I had talking with her, and she messaged back that she wasn't interested in seeing me again.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm out of ideas. I can't get anywhere with women, no matter what I try. I've reached the point where I can't even conceive of a woman actually liking me, because I'm fundamentally not what women want. At least, that's the conclusion I arrive at based on the available evidence, which says I can't get past a date or two.

But I gotta believe that's not true. There's gotta be someone out there for everyone, right? I just don't know how much longer i can keep up the search. Because I don't know how much longer I can stand being alone. One way or another the loneliness will end...

At least you got a date to begin with, I still haven't had my first date period...I always get rejected without any attempt to get to know me or give me a fair chance. Even my best friend, who I love more than life itself and have since the moment I met her, rejected me

Hell, only 4 women have ever even tried to fake an interest in me....and their webcam models. As weird as it sounds, I have actually become friends with them, and they've all said they'd date me if we didn't live so far apart ( 3 are on the same coast but still too far to be feasable and the 4th is on the opposite end of the country... ). Right now, that's all I have left to hope for....

I didn't find my husband until I was 52. seems like you're giving up too soon.

Ouch... I'm having ptsd flashbacks... honestly, I have no doubt in my mind rushing a german machine gun nest in ww2 is easier than dealing with consistent romantic failure... at least one of these makes you feel heroic (and maybe a little bit dead?).... but constant rejection makes you feel like an unworthy piece of crap, it's terrible...just hoping you can get the rejections out of your mind to allow you some sleep. I remember replaying those sort of rejections in my head over and over again, which resulted in some pretty bad insomnia...it's the worst.

See this prospect scares me. Because NOW are the best years of my life, and I want someone to enjoy them with. I don't want to wait that long, to reach a point where there is no longer the energy or inclination to want to go hiking or enjoy the kind of life a younger couple might have. And I don't want to have to wait 20 more years. I don't think I could wait. If a fortune teller told me I would find my true love, but not until I was in my 50s...that wouldn't be acceptable. I couldn't last that long. I'd have done something drastic well before then, because I just can't stand being alone for much longer.

I can still hike.

well, that's great for people who never wanted kids.

a guy can have kids all his life. a woman can now freeze her eggs, so she can have kids whenever, too.

I wanted kids, but you don't always get what you want. freezing eggs wasn't common when it would have worked for me. I may still foster, though. I also have nieces and nephews. not exactly my own kids, but fulfilling in its own way. I also have a cat which is a great snuggler and doesn't hold my autism against me the way my own kids might.

We are not fortune tellers.

I've noticed among the adamant childfree autistic crowd that they never change their mind. (After all, their objections are dealbraking ones like they can't stand the sound of a crying baby because it literally hurts their ears, you know, serious things that people absolutely cannot put up with).

We can't tell whether cathylyn wanted children or not (maybe she even has children) - whathever she wanted she can't go back in time.

Focus on improving yourself by learning new things.


Learn to trade on the stock market, study and watch investments, take up weightlifting to add muscle, ask a stylist about what hairstyle is best for you and read fashion articles.

Believe it or not, fashion can be very important as well, I know it sounds shallow but that's the world we live in today.

Wearing a polo shirt and khakis doesn't cut it anymore, you need to keep up with the latest hair styles and fashions.

that's exactly how I feel. I want that and all the fun romantic and playful stuff. tbh I don't plan to live past 35 alone. I have no interest in sustaining a worthless life.

but hey at least she was upfront and honest with you. she could have just ignored your message like most. I find that more hurtful. she at least treated you like a fellow human with feelings. wish I could tell you how to do better but I myself am undateable.

If you want to have an all-the-time nervous gambling-like life then go Stock market, personally I don't recommend it: there's more losers than winners in that capitalist game.

I had a close school friend (didn't see him for years) who got in film-making and he was the best at it in university, while his dream was making movies on big screen, he ended up doing commercials and music clips to make money, sounds to me like a good compromise between a big dream and reality to survive- he still didn't give on his big dream tho. Why don't you take such...lucrative route; at least at the beginning?

That's one of his commercial videos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LtMPuyPxNko

I don't like reading your posts, because they sound too much like my experiences (although I have a far different mentality and mindset). My only suggestion: if what you've been doing thus far isn't working, change what you're doing. One thing I've learned is that dating is about a lot more than just getting to know the other person and having fun, and that's something that I've only just come to realize.

When it comes to dating, human individuals aren't that unique and individualistic as we like to believe - if 99% of the women Brain meets don't like him (or me, or you Stargazers) then there are certainly common things that those 99% don't like.