Is a career required for a relationship?

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Inspired by FrankiDelano's thread I decided to ask if a career is required for a relationship. I have a car but not a career. Is that the cause of my problems? All of my anxiety over my lack of career started last year when I started reading profiles that said they wanted a man with ambition and eventually my desire for a career grew into something independent of my desire for a relationship.

But if I have other things holding me back than having a career might not be enough.

I've heard it said that just studying for a career is enough to make you seem a bit more ambitious, even if you don't have one yet. Is that true? Would women think a mature age college student is OK or expect me to already have a career at my age?

It matters to the sorts of people it matters to. I could say it doesn't matter to me, just like I did in the car thread, but plenty of others will argue that it matters to most women.

If you want most women, then yes, apparently it matters.

In my experience with dating sites, women seem to only want to talk to men who have careers. That is from my personal perspective, though it may not be the same for everyone else.

I cannot work due to extreme stress and anxiety, plus having panic disorder, social anxiety and I cannot read other people (I have tried for years but gave up eventually), plus I do not like being around people.

It won't matter much for women like yellowmarting who are not seeking marriage or long term ; otherwise it matters a lot.

its not all that matters, but it with not having a car or own place can be a disqualify-er to a lot of women at least online.
having them doesn't mean your possible other issues will be over looked or your lack of shared interest won't matter, but not having a carreer/car/place will mean for a bunch of online women won't ever give you a chance to discover if you share interests or have other issues.

I keep hope that it doesn't matter to all women and perhaps one day I will find one, while accepting reality and trying for a higher paying job likely to stress me out and lead me to a emotional break down, but at least it'll open more options of women for me.

studying if you mean attending college, then i'd say most of those who list the job tend to say decent job or be in college.
but i would be worried as my college degree lead to no job, so if one gets a gf like this and then doesn't find a job, they may be more likely to break up with you then one who didn't care. course there may be enough emotional attachment at that point, but there is quite a lot of asking for help web search results about women who are considering leaving their long term bf cause he hasn't continued to advance.

lot depends on how women are in your area, as women are just people who like all humans will vary with local customs and views on things.

Ermm...but "yellowmarting" IS seeking long-term.

If careers were a requirement for a relationship highschoolers and college kids would never date.

It honestly depends on the person, but with the economy it makes sense if you're back in school because you're switching careers, or because you're doing grad school, or extending your education. If they fault you for being in school, they're not worth your time, because they don't understand or respect the importance of education.

As for in general, women want men that have careers in relationships because having a career usually means they have a stable, and fairly high paying job. This would be important in a long term relationship where the couple wants children because usually one of the parents needs to quit their job in order to take care of babies. Babies take up a lot of time and energy. Anyway, because they have to fall under one income for at least a short amount of time, and men generally make more than women, it makes sense to find a partner with a stable and fairly high paying job. It isn't necessary of course, and the new trend of stay at home dads mean that men don't necessarily have to have a career to find a stable relationship. BUT before you get too excited remember that women who have spent a lot of time cultivating their careers, but also want a family, aren't going to appreciate a guy who lacks motivation or is basically another child she has to take care for. Or at least, that's something a lot of the women at work complain about.

The career thing might not be your only issue, but it might be a good place to start working on it, because having a career will only help you.

I do not see it as a requirement....but I cannot speak for all females.

Well I've got two out of three. I just hope they count a granny flat as my "own place". Some youths 'round here have a granny flat in their parents back yard (Australian equivalent of a "basement dweller" (we don't have basements because we don't have frost)) but I rent a granny flat in a stranger's back yard. It's one of the bigger ones too, being two thirds the size of a single story home. I just hope women don't think that doesn't count as a "place".

Keep hoping. It's better than losing hope

The most common phrase they use is they want a man with "direction". Maybe that could mean directed towards a career instead of already having one. They also mention ambition which could be interpreted the same way. Some of them specify that I must have a job. This could mean a career but it could also mean going to college and having a job at the same time
Many of the young women on Oasis say they're studying and working at the same time and yet still lead active social lives. I don't know how they manage it.

Well of course it's not a requirement at their age. The great thing about high school is everyone is equal. There's no "my job pays more than your job". Everyone's just a student. At that age you probably don't even need a car.

As for college kids, the fact they're in college could be taken as proof they have ambition and career plans. It's true I plan to go there myself but I'm asking this to find out if my plan of getting a better job to attract women has merit (and no that's not the only reason I want a new career).


I hope so.

In general people understand the value of education, even at my age. I just worry they'll find fault with me doing my degree at my age. Actually the current plan is to start my degree at 29 after having done a two year diploma.



That makes sense. Though I've noticed nowadays some women don't have kids until they're older. Many of them would have their own careers to concentrate on first. Maybe that means they won't need me to have money straight away.

A bigger issue is that I'm not sure I really want to have kids anyway. Maybe I'll change my mind when I'm older but it just doesn't seem like a good idea to me. Would most women consider that a deal breaker?
[/quote]The career thing might not be your only issue, but it might be a good place to start working on it, because having a career will only help you.[/quote]
It certainly isn't my only issue but I think it would really improve my life, not just my dating prospects.

It helps a great deal. I think most women just want someone who knows what they want and has the confidence to get it. I don't know if it has to necessarily be a "career" but a job, or a desire for a better job (aka college) is usually fine.

I think this only proves true for dating in your 30s and 40s, because if you don't have a serious job at that age I think most people look at you weird.. at my age no one cares. My cousin only dates men with criminal records or a not-so-promising career in the hip-hop industry

That's fine 886 but for you and I both, our 30s will come soon enough.

In general, I'd say a successful (wealthy) entrepreneur is most attractive. Then someone with a solid career & income that is financially stable and can be a provider, even if they aren't wealthy. Then someone with a full time job that might not really be much of a career. Then a toss up between full time student & part time worker or some combination of student/worker etc. Depending on what someone is studying, it may even make them more attractive than others in the economy - i.e. medical school.

Something of a scale like that, anyways, is how I see what the typical female is likely to be attracted to in a guy.

FYI when I attended business school the average age in my class set was 28 & everyone was a full time student. Very few worked at all due to our very heavy course load. Several had boyfriends/girlfriends. (although many chose to remain single due to very limited free time outside of classes/studying.)

Well goldfish21, I'm glad you're setting an example for the rest of us guys So all women want is a doctor or a wealthy entrepreneur? Sure, why not? Who needs the boring stability of a regular salary?

Normal full time jobs are for lazy people who deserve to be poor. But were to draw the line?

You're class mates didn't all have full time jobs as well? What was wrong with them?
/sarcasm

Sereously though, my employment agent thinks she can fix me up with a part time job soon. I wonder if I should work part time/study part time or if I should be on work part time/study full time like most other vicenarians. Is not doing 1.5x full time considered a sign of laziness?

I have a career
































But I'm single

Yes it is important because it shows that you have interest and that you are a contribitant to society. If a guy had enough money and he worked as a volunteer or whatever then that would be OK too. A career indicates having discipline and having goals in life to me.