meeting the parents

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What does it mean if you let someone meet your parents or they ask you to meet their parents? What does that say about the relationship?

That it's getting f*****g serious.

Or her mom wants to teach her sex - according to porn.

Means it's getting serious. They want to see how you get along with their family, because they're starting to consider you a permanent fixture.

Lol

It says nothing about the relationship. Has more to do with what the PARENTS have to say about the relationship.

What probably never occurs to us before it's too late is that for anyone we date, we're dating their parents by default.

Don't sweat meeting the parents. Just be yourself. If they are freaked out by you and your date doesn't seem to have a problem with that, you need to end the relationship on friendly terms while you still can.

Here's why: If they don't like you, they're going to give your partner a hard time about you. That's going to cause stress and ultimately affect the relationship.

Now, the flip side is not the same. If YOUR parents take issue with your date, they might see something you don't. I know this to be true. My mom singlehandedly burned my love-life to the ground. I'm not kidding, either. And when I DID put some distance between my gf and my mom, my gf showed her true colors and went all bizarre on me. Mom was right.

And I always knew if it was going to end, usually badly, when mom pronounced a death sentence on it. She'd be, like, "well, she's really nice and all, but when she breaks up with you..." And that's how I knew...EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Pissed me off when she did it, too.

Which was funny because of what happened with my last gf. Those two were inseparable. My mom would call me up to talk to HER. Even when I tried to break up with her my mom STILL wouldn't leave her alone.

We got married 9 years ago... Lol

Seriously, meeting the parents and even getting both sets together is a relational rite of passage. There's no such thing as "serious" or "too early" for this to happen. It's weird, I know, but just go with it and accept whatever outcome you get from it. It'll make for some GREAT stories to tell your kids some day!

so normal people don't let their partners meet their parents until they are deep into a committed relationship?

It seems to be the usual pattern.

Personally, I'd rather get to this point BEFORE things turn serious. For me, it's making a decision that brings two families together. Maybe I DON'T want to be aligned with her family. That's a big decision. It's not just what they think of you, but what you think of them as well. If they're good folks, then if anything they are going to be supportive of you. If they're nuts, they'll be interfering and trying to turn her against you. I say don't even wait for it to turn serious?get in there early and figure out what level of insanity you're about to commit to.

Ok. This is a miscommunication I had--scared a girl off.

What if you live with your parents? You have to sneak around and never bring the person home? That doesn't make any sense to me.

Er?not quite?

It's not about allowing/disallowing someone meeting your parents if you don't want to take the relationship further. It's just that nobody makes a big deal about meeting the parents unless it's going to get serious.

I'm just not a big believer in blowing anything up in a relationship. If you want your parents to meet your girl on your first date, go ahead and invite her in. Seriously, who freakin' cares? Yeah, if you live with your folks or vice versa, don't sneak around just to avoid them seeing each other. That's just silly. Meeting the folks is not this big scary thing. The sooner the better, even if it's just a casual one-off thing. And, I mean, don't go too far the other way either?I'm not saying you're REQUIRED to meet the folks on the first date, either. I'm saying that meeting the folks is a GOOD thing whenever you do it. You're not going to die either way.

I guess this is one of those NT things I will never understand. My way of thinking is, "Who cares?" I have a feeling I am going to have a problem with in-laws if I am expected to try to have a relationship with them. I don't like my family. I definitely don't want another family.

Try to find a woman who was an only child and whose parents have already shuffled off the mortal coil.