Thank You all of you for you're advice and comments. I am sorry I wrote it out without paragraphs. I was upset trying to sort it out in my head how she is and just banged away on the keypad. I suspects aspergers possibly. after reading some of you're comments on the replies it makes me think I was wrong. it is frustrating that she won't share with exactly what Is wrong with her, I mean there must have been a medical diagnosis after 20 years in and out of hospitals. I like her and do love her but I have made it clear I am unwilling to commit unless she lets me in.. one thing that happened.. a few years ago she dated a heroin addict for some time and that wasn't working out. she stopped seeing him and he still went round her place knocking the door trying to talk etc. she said she wouldn't let him in , but a some time later she tried to get out of her flat on the 3rd floor apartment by climbing down the balcony onto the neighbours below balcony apartment, she told me she fell or slipped and fell 25ft onto a lawn but shattered bones in her lower right leg. she was admitted to hospital and had metal plated inserted. she now walks with a stick and a limp. one of comments to me, it is true. she needs more than love and I cannot help here because everytime I try it blows up and I get accused of all sorts. I am aware that many mental disorders exist and a person may not just have one disorder , but they can sometimes have a group of them. personality disorder I noticed has many different branchs of diagnosis. I came to this site because I am a loss to know how to cope with her because I do not know what is wrong with her, only that there are many problems. I do see that she is delusional in some things. the pastor at her church who she said was rude to her suddenly became friendly when she showed him a photo of herself with a big name pastor with his arm round her. she keeps repeating the story about how her current pastor now treats her with respect cuz she's friendly with a famous big name when she holidays back in the usa. the other night she asked to look on my facebook page and looked up her current pastors facebook page and went through all his facebook friends list which was in the hundreds and then when she couldn't find her big name hot shot pastor in the friend list, she kept saying, " I really expected to find the big name guy in his friends list.. she kept on and on about it and seemed genuinely surprised. to my way of thinking that seems delusional thinking. it is a bit of a sign of maybe where her problems lie. I have done it aqain - no paragraphs. sorry folks.
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Peter Jenner