We've been dating for 2 years and he always says he doesn't know me... My emotionally abusive mother says she doesn't know me too...
I feel heartbroken. My boyfriend always says things like he doesn't know what he wants and he doesn't know me. Then he jumps to saying he didn't mean it and gets all loving again. Then he goes distant and says he doesn't know me. My mom says she doesn't know me. She talks about how horrible of a daughter I am and wishes I was better.
What's wrong with me? Am I not capable of love? Is it because of how poorly coordinated I am? I don't drink, smoke or do drugs... I draw, watch anime, read, go to college school and work. I also try to be kind to people. Being kind feels good. It feels like the closest people to me are shunning me. I don't have many friends.
Sometimes I just want to disappear and get away from this place... I've been bullied at school all my life for my disorders. Why do I feel so heart broken when they say they don't know me? My boyfriend has aspergers syndrome so I don't yell at him or scold him for anything. He snaps at me a lot. I let him say all he wants to me when he has his meltdowns. Sometimes he says he doesn't love me, doesn't know me, doesn't want to support me, that I treat him like a bully and it hurts him... then he says he doesn't mean it and just went through a phase. He could be loving for months, then after that he says these things, then goes back to being loving. I'm confused.
And now he's also obsessed with this popular girl he just met in his class... He's still in highschool, 12th grade, and she is in 11th grade. He's always chasing her and tells me he wants to be her friend but she's cold towards him. He talks about her every night before bed and it makes me feel weird, but I care about his happiness so I am always there for him and giving him advice on how to become her friend. He's lonely, has no friends, so I'm happy that he's reaching out to someone for the first time... But sometimes I feel like I'm just giving him advice to talk to a crush...
Sorry for all the mixed up vents... I'm just so confused and stressed out...
02 Nov 2014, 4:12 pm
