I have a question for males, though anyone can post.

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So I went to a concert last night, stayed for a bit afterwards because I started talking to this dude...he was pretty interesting to talk to so after a bit we went to his place and basically listened to music and talked seems he is also into music and had an impressive vinyl collection put mine to shame that is for sure. Then around 5 in the morning he was going to bed and I had to head out...I was a bit worried buses might not be running yet but they where so no big thing. However I left one of my favorite sweaters and a shirt I got at the concert at his place. Trouble is we never exchanged numbers, I was going to get his because I figure it would be cool to hang out again if he was intrested but forgot to ask.

So from what I understand he frequents this venue,....so I figure I could go there more often and see if I run into him again I want to go there more often anyways because concerts and i liked it there. Anyways I guess my question is would it be weird for me to like approach him, inquire about if I left my stuff at his place(might have lost it at the bus stop though) and also see if he wants to hang out again? I mean how would males here feel if they brought a female to their house had an enjoyable time, never got around to exchanging numbers and said female leaves a couple things. And so they attempt tracking you down to 1. let them know they had a good time and would like to perhaps do it again, and might want to try dating if they'd want to and 2. to inquire about leaving the items? But yeah guess i just don't want to be stalkerish or something, though I guess it would be moreso if I saw him again and avoided and didn't talk to them.

Maybe I am over-analyzing all this...and should just not worry and talk to him if I see him again. I guess the worse that cold happen is they don't have the shirt and sweater and they and wouldn't want to hang out again...in which case I'd just have to move on.

Sounds like a good reason to talk to him.

If I was him and I had your stuff I would want to return it if possible and would be pleased to have an opportunity to do so.

Bring up the sweater when you see him again and do it privately "So I was wondering if there was a sweater I left at your place when we hung out?" or something similar to that would work when the two of you communicate. As for approaching him, there isn't much you need to be worried about. All you have to do is smile and say hello when you go up to him, or wave at him from 15 feet away or more.

I agree with the above posts, shouldn't be a problem at all. Just ask about the sweater with little privacy rather than shouting about it and it's all good.

Yeah seems like a good idea to say hi and maybe talk a little and then mention that more discreetly like...rather than recognize him and be like 'hey I think you have my sweater'. in front of a bunch of people.

If I don't end up running into him though, then I guess at least I just forgot the shirt...I also got a cd, button/pin, sticker and cassette tape which I made it home with. Though still would be kind of disappointing as I would like to talk to him again.

Do you realize how normal this seems? So normal, that he will likely be expecting you to show up any time soon. If you had planned this (I am not saying that you did), it would have been the perfect plan to seek him out and get to know him better. I say "Go for it"!

...

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I may have left some things at your place ... or maybe the bus stop ... and I was wondering if you have seen them?"

"I don't know ... why don't we go back to my place and look around ..."

Well thank you all, I feel better about it now...I guess that is one of the troubles of autism getting way to worried about things that aren't really that big of a deal.

Instead of going to where he hangs out and hoping you eventually run in to him, you might as well just go to his house since you know where he lives. It's not like you're just showing up at his place randomly for no reason, you left some stuff there on accident. If he's not there leave a note with your number saying you might have forgotten some stuff there. Just doing it once should be fine and won't make it awkward. I'd think it would be awkward and time consuming and more of a headache to have to hang out somewhere that he hangs out at. If he was alright with bringing you back to his place this shouldn't be an issue.

You "forgot" it, eh?

Its absolutely ok to try and find him again and see if you left your sweater, etc, there. Its what most all people would do and a pretty common oversight. Clothes are not things casually just written off.

If you do run into him I would be friendly but see if he makes the suggestion to meet up again. If he doesn't you could initiate and suggest it yourself. Really there is no harm trying as they say. Or and perhaps a better approach would be to offer a music based friendship. Saying something like 'Well I am usually interested in live music so if you ever would like a friend to go with you can give me a call.' And then give him your number. That would put things on a non-committal path and might work out as a friendship which is ok of itself. Or perhaps in time lead to something more, but after there has been time to get to know one another more.

You COULD just go over there, knock on the door, and ask for your stuff back. You know where he lives?I think exchanging numbers at this point is perhaps a little irrelevant?

But, when you go over you can remember to get contact info, etc., if you still want to. Seriously, if I were the guy in that situation, it wouldn't bother me if you did that.

It's only stalking, btw, if it's unwanted. I once apologized to girl because I WAS looking for her and following her around?because I liked talking to her. I told her if she thought I was stalking her, just let me know and I'll back off. She was, like, "no, it's ok. You can stalk me any time." And she meant it. lol

Otherwise, you know if someone says something like, "I'm on my way to meet someone right now," or "I need some space," or "I kinda want to be a lone for a while?" then perhaps they DO feel you're being a little weird.

The guy might have your stuff in his house.

Why not talk to him?

Why not talk to him even if he didn't have your stuff in his house?

Nothing wrong with going up to him and being fully truthful. Worst case scenario you know one more place your stuff isn't