You can't think of it from an emotional outlook which is what you are doing. It has nothing to do with that. Also, we all react differently to touch depending on how our brains perceive the sensation of touch. That's why the idea of being "in love" makes no difference. Just because I perceive myself to be "in love" isn't going to tell my brain to suddenly process touch differently especially if my wiring to process touch is all messed up. So, separate that out.
Here's what really goes on. I can be over sensitive to touch (hypersensitive) or under sensitive to touch (hyposensitive) or anywhere in between. It can also only affect certain types of touch. Firm hugs may not bother me but touching my arm might. We're all different. That's because the way the sent and received in our brains is messed up. So, to me a light touch is a light touch. To the next Aspie the message is amplified and it comes across like being hit with a baseball bat. (Now you begin to see where being in love or not makes no difference. A baseball bat is a baseball bat whether you are in love or not.) To yet another Aspie (who is hyposensitive), the sensation of a light touch is not felt at all and you would think they are ignoring you when the message didn't even get across their brain to the receptor to say, Yes, I was just touched. Again, being in love wouldn't change that because it's the brain interpreting a physical action.
The other thing with us is what we sometimes call startle effect. That's when we are off in our heads thinking about something very intently. If you did that and I walked up to you (assuming you are NT now and not Aspie), you would jump maybe, but you'd be like, "Oh hey," and probably smile. If you did that to an Aspie, they might not register it at all, might have the same reaction as you or they might even jump and freeze or cry even. Again, that has nothing to do with the person who did it. It's the message being sent in the brain that is getting messed up.
The best way to deal with an Aspie because of this messed up wiring issue and all of our different reactions, is to simply ask us how we react. We'll tell you. We know the wiring is messed up. If you are an Aspie yourself and wrote this, tell people to ask you how you react to different touches. Just explain that it's messed up wiring. It's a concept they can understand and takes hurt feelings out of it.
Finally, yes this does get better over time with comfort level. The "NT" person learns what they Aspie person can deal with in the way of touch and the Aspie can become desensitized sometimes over time. But, this varies by Aspie and you should always ask. What is true for one is not true for all. We all have different messaging. As long as you remember that, you'll be fine.