Nothing but an apparation...

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Geistmann
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07 Mar 2007, 1:51 pm

Maybe this is something everyone feels, but I feel this way more and more when I stop and think about it. This is mostly a question for the guys.

Do you mostly (or always) feel as if you were a ghost in a 3 way conversation? Like say you're with one of your guy friends and a girl comes into the conversation. Do you often notice the girl rarely looking in your direction, and if she does its almost as if she noticed a fly buzzing around and barely notices your presence? Like she see's right through you? This happens to me almost on a daily basis and I almost want to scream "HEY IM RIGHT HERE B*TCH!" but of course, that would be the WRONG thing to do...or would it? Hmm...

This is a pretty simple question. Its just one of those questions where I want to see if I'm the only one or not. Its just been irritating the hell out of me more lately. Maybe I look like I'm going to rob them or something?


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krex
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07 Mar 2007, 2:40 pm

I know this is mostly "for the guys" and I am not one but I get the same reaction.I often feel invisable.Some times I like this as it allows me to observe people but when I was interested in finding a boyfriend or even a female friend,this was very hurtful and frustrating.I think it was one reason I drank,it made me more animated and easier to notice.

So,just to let you know,this isnt just because you are an aspie guy or only females who do it to guys.Some females just seem to operate on a ...."what can you do for me "radar system that is very superficial and that cant see how getting to know you would be of value to them.Some NT males have a way to make females feel they are more approachable.It may not be that they are more interesting,attractive or any thing like that,they are just easier to talk to.

I guess this is something to do with the non-verbal communication thing.If we are "deaf" to it,they send out a signal we do not hear and respond to and so they figure we are not interested and we may be sending signals to them that we are not aware of.There are books you can read about this if you want to learn their language.I preferred waiting for people who spoke my own language most the time but it can be a long wait(statistically speaking).


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calandale
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10 Mar 2007, 6:58 am

Yeah, and it only gets worse when you try and overcompensate with the tools you have.