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May meet an aspie; how to put her at ease?

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kanashimoo
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18 Dec 2014, 4:47 am

I've met her once before, but this time, it'll be completely recreational. I guess I could say that I'm interested in her; this is probably the best chance that I'd have at a relationship that could work. Any advice on how to grow the relationship, suitable boundaries etc?

Thanks.


_________________
Specialisterne is an international nonprofit which has the singular goal of enabling 1 million jobs for people on spectrum. DO check them out! I conducted an interview on national radio regarding my experiences with Specialisterne and SAP.

On a more local level, Focus Professional Services is a consulting organization based in Vancouver, Canada that attempts to hire people on the spectrum to act as IT consultants. They're a very new organization.

For those of us in Vancouver, there is an Aspies Meetup group; pm me if you're interested. I look forward to seeing anyone in Vancouver either in person or in a larger gathering!


SweetTooth
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18 Dec 2014, 5:26 am

Horse tranquilizer.

No, seriously, do you have Asperger's yourself? And does she know that you know that she has it? If the answer to these questions is "yes", then maybe you have a common topic and you could just openly discuss. That may work well. Good luck!



kanashimoo
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18 Dec 2014, 5:34 am

SweetTooth wrote:
Horse tranquilizer.

No, seriously, do you have Asperger's yourself? And does she know that you know that she has it? If the answer to these questions is "yes", then maybe you have a common topic and you could just openly discuss. That may work well. Good luck!


Link please ;)

But yes, I am on the spectrum myself. She already knows; she interviewed me recently about it, as I was part of an "Autism at Work" program between my company, SAP and Specialisterne, a nonprofit. This meeting would have much less of a set agenda and be more casual.


_________________
Specialisterne is an international nonprofit which has the singular goal of enabling 1 million jobs for people on spectrum. DO check them out! I conducted an interview on national radio regarding my experiences with Specialisterne and SAP.

On a more local level, Focus Professional Services is a consulting organization based in Vancouver, Canada that attempts to hire people on the spectrum to act as IT consultants. They're a very new organization.

For those of us in Vancouver, there is an Aspies Meetup group; pm me if you're interested. I look forward to seeing anyone in Vancouver either in person or in a larger gathering!


SweetTooth
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18 Dec 2014, 5:47 am

That's very nice, then you already have an "entrance" and you know about each other's potential difficulties in these social situations. If you are afraid of "silences", not knowing what to say, you might plan it around some activity that the both of you could enjoy. (I'm bad at suggesting those, because I'm very much a home-person myself.)



Cafeaulait
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18 Dec 2014, 7:09 am

I am going on a second date tonight. I am really afraid that we all of a sudden don't have anything to talk about. I freaking am!! !

Also, how do I get emotionally close to a man without coming across as a whiner or complainer, but still being myself? I want to talk about my feelings and opinions but they include 'negative' ones as well.



kanashimoo
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19 Dec 2014, 5:08 am

Cafeaulait wrote:
I am going on a second date tonight. I am really afraid that we all of a sudden don't have anything to talk about. I freaking am!! !

Also, how do I get emotionally close to a man without coming across as a whiner or complainer, but still being myself? I want to talk about my feelings and opinions but they include 'negative' ones as well.


I suppose chill with it and don't talk about too many negative things too early, before you know each other. Stick with safe, positive topics until you can move onto darker areas.


_________________
Specialisterne is an international nonprofit which has the singular goal of enabling 1 million jobs for people on spectrum. DO check them out! I conducted an interview on national radio regarding my experiences with Specialisterne and SAP.

On a more local level, Focus Professional Services is a consulting organization based in Vancouver, Canada that attempts to hire people on the spectrum to act as IT consultants. They're a very new organization.

For those of us in Vancouver, there is an Aspies Meetup group; pm me if you're interested. I look forward to seeing anyone in Vancouver either in person or in a larger gathering!