I'm worried

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I have a dream college and it is a flight away from home. It has always been my dream college, I made plans transfer to the college from my current community college this year or next year and I didn't expect my boyfriend to react the way he did...

My boyfriend has aspergers so I'm not sure if I'm just misunderstanding his intentions again. When I told him my dream I thought he would be happy for me, instead he said that San Francisco is a Sh*t hole (Sanfran is where I want to go to college), and that I would need to get a job. I told him yes I know, I would get a job. Then he rolled his eyes like he thinks I can't get a job or something. So I just stayed quiet...

He also told me that his parents called me ret*d and they think that he's my caretaker because I'm depressed and naturally a quiet person.... I was hurt by this.... I am not ret*d, I am currently in community college, and putting all my effort into a happy stable life. Growing up in the past was not the best for me, sorry if I sound too descriptive, but I was abused in my childhood, I had no friends for years, and I got raped and bullied for it in high school. As of today I still suffer a bit of depression and PTSD and I got called ret*d for it...

My bf also said he agrees with his parents and feels like my caretaker. I disagree because I'm not dependent on him, I keep my depressed phases as my responsibility, I pay for my own things etc... What even is a caretaker anyway, in your opinion?

Well.. I have finals all week and I'm just so stressed. I don't understand how he could criticize me so much when he's the one that is in high school, failing, and not willing to even get a GED if he doesn't grad high school. I never criticize him... I try to help him and encourage him... but he thinks everything is stupid and pointless, even therapists. Now, this isn't what our relationship is always like, it's just lately things have been stressful for us both because of school and his fear for the future... He's scared I'll cheat, fail, and get hurt if I go away for college.

And as a result from this, he is always angry and annoyed by me.

You're worried because he is worried. And he says he is worried you will cheat on him, or will fail or even get hurt. These are things he should be worried about for himself based on what you are saying. the details you give tells me that you might actually be happier if you went to San Francisco to at least make something out of your life.

I've seen you post several times here in the last couple months, and I have yet to see anything that indicates that he can be loving and supportive of you and encouraging you to do things. I am not sure I can blame you for looking elsewhere for support and love since he doesn't seem to be giving you any of that.

San Francisco is a great town, and this is your dream college.

Forget what you boyfriend says.

I remember you: you've already had some trouble with this guy.

I would be very wary of someone who viewed themselves as my "caregiver." It suggests a bit of a controlling attitude. And frankly if you're doing well in school and getting accepted into college, I don't think you need a caregiver. Calling you ret*d is his trying to make you doubt yourself. Again with the controlling. He wants you to fulfill his vision of you and not disrupt it with pesky things like your identity and life.
Go to San Francisco and forget about him.

Hi Frmeepy.

Right now, just focus on passing your finals. When those are over, then figure out whether you want to proceed with your relationship. Based on what you've written, I agree with the opinions above; it sounds like your boyfriend doesn't trust you and he's saying whatever he can to break you and keep you around. You know what's best for you, so if that means moving to SF, then go, thrive, and enjoy your new adventures. Congrats on getting into your dream school

Dump this dude.

Anyone who tears you down like this is not someone you need to be with. Don't waste time trying to "understand" him, there's nothing to understand. He's a resentful ass who can't stand seeing you succeed because he's failing. And he will go on being like this. While you're away at school he'll break up or sleep with someone else, then tell you it's your fault, and he'll be going for maximum damage. Why? Because it's your fault you're succeeding and making him feel bad.

Cut him loose. You'll feel much lighter immediately, and after six months you'll wonder why you signed up for abuse from him in the first place.

"instead he said that San Francisco is a Sh*t hole"

Unless he is some crazy conservative, this is nonsense, and a sheer sign he just doesn't want you to go. San Fran is awesome.

I wish I had gone to San Francisco when I had the chance to study abroad. Seems like a totally awesome place to me.

Thank you everyone for your advice.