I always mess things up with women in the end

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It always bloody happens. Not on this site or anything, everybody's great on here, probably cause most people have an understanding here. In real life or other sites, i'm a disaster waiting to happen. Even though I go over my messages with a fine comb, and try to perfect them, I still mess up. If I try to be relaxed and my complete self, i'm in even more trouble . I'm doomed and will end up alone probably. I'm just different from everybody else, If we were all the same it'd be a more boring life than it already is

yes i have the same problem, always seem to say the wrong thing and when i try to correct what i have said things get worse. the frustrating thing is most people seem to interpret what i say differently to what i meant. this is one area where i can find no solution.

Tell me about it, There is no solution.

When younger ever person I went out with told me there was something wrong with me, but I did learn eventually to play the part - but it was only when I allowed myself to be the real me and believe in myself that I found real happiness!

But really just be yourself, as there are lots of us and there will be someone out there for you...

Maybe this site may help:
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I am a female. I found out in my past dating experiences, that if I became too enthusiastic about the relationship it came to the end quickly. I f I played a passive role it could last longer. Now, as I am getting older, I look at the people eyes. I see kind people. If a person is not kind do not even try. If a girl is kind, try to tell her upfront, that you might not be so easy going, but you like her, and wish her to be with you even if sometimes it is not obvious what you say. Every girl likes to here nice words. You do not have to be tricky. Simply be honest

Being that gate-crashingly upfront takes the kind of guy who's adorably awkward, ie. the sort of romantic comedy type aspie guy where she starts giggling at everything he does, the whole interaction they have is innocent enough to give you a toothache, and he's that adorable soul who has no guard, no shell, and she loves that about him. I have had some rather attractive NT's even into me like that and that dynamic puts me instantly in that place where I'm blushing, my skin is hot and itchy (like I need to find the nearest shower to jump in and stay there for a food 5 hours hoping I can wash that feeling off), and I just want to run as far as I can away from it because it just feels violating, like the dynamic is overpowering the real me and has nothing to do with who I am, what I need out of interaction, what makes me happy, or even what direction I want to go in as a person. Not harping on it as bad advice, its good for some, but for the guys that works out for I tend to think they have a less set sense of self, really aren't as hard-wired in terms of what they feel about the world or about life, ie. it almost takes a guy who's more than a little underdeveloped in terms of trying to overcome the situation and own his life and sense of self.

I think what's so sad in the end is that people are so brittle in terms of what they'll accept in a person upfront. Girls in that situation, I've tried to have faith in them and tried to slowly change the way we interacted and bring it more in a direction that I wanted and that suited the real me but they just reacted like they were dismayed, saddened, or like I was telling them I wasn't interested. I guess you really need to have the luck of fitting some common personality-to-looks archetype, otherwise your SOL.

Lately Ive been meeting more women but they seem to be too busy with everything. Which is a turn off. Mostly its technology. I cant imagine a western woman being satisfied with a quiet walk along the beach without her cell phone.
Plus parting cussing girls turn me off. We guys need to feel important too. Try to impress us a little, by being down to Earth.
Lokks dont go very far, and a personality thats high maintance works like pepper spray.

I think I said this to you before, but you have to try not to take it too personally and be yourself rather than going through everything with a fine tooth comb.

Have you ever thought that you can't really relate to a particular person? To the extent that you don't feel you can interact with them in all but the most superficial way. Well it is not that you necessarily detest them or think their vile, etc. You might actually admire them quite a bit. So maybe if someone doesn't really warm to you and you are unable to turn it around, try not to feel too bad about it.

I have done the going through things with a fine tooth comb. It doesn't really work because you end up more nervous, and probably make more mistakes that usual. It won't leave much personality or anything for the other person. The more overcautious you are the more you are thinking inwardly rather than focusing on making genuine observations in the real world. This is all stuff that I have read about in CBT books, they all basically say the same thing and it makes sense. Mistakes aren't all that bad as they seem, we all make mistakes, you can't let them destroy you. If you can have a positive attitude and move on I'm sure some will find that attractive. Resilience is the word that describes the ability of pick yourself up off the floor if you have had a scrape. Resilience is part and parcel with survival. They say that some people are born with resilience, but I think you can acquire it also.

Of course you are different don't try to be the 'same'. Some people can tell a fake.

I think that is a *slightly* unfounded claim It has around 820 members since whenever it was founded maybe a couple of years ago, there will be dating sites that have grown faster than that, though probably a lot less specialized.

I mess things up at the beginning. I'd like to say the same about the middle and the end, but I've never made it that far. On a second thought, it is not true that I mess up at the beginning. I mess up way before my first move.

I wish I knew how to help!

I've tried a different apprach with every women, so it's been hard to find the common factor taht's always causing me to fail, besides myself.