Approaching girls

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I was at one of the numerous community centres in my suburb for a function and I saw this young woman. She was stunning, gorgeous, about fifty thousand out of ten. I don't know if she was single but she wasn't with anyone.

After they'd made their speaches and they told us to mingle I thought, should I approach her? Should I try to build a rapport? Would it make me look like a weirdo creep?

I'm still at the function, I typed this on my phone but I haven't seen her for a while, maybe she went home.


But still, since this is a frequent occurrence for me, I'd still like it if anyone could answer my questions from the second paragraph.

Sigh, I ended up talking to some bald guy instead. Not as much fun but much less nerve-racking than talking to that oriental goddess.

What was the subject of this "function?"

Especially if this were IT-related, you could have had the ammunition to approach her.

If she was congratulated within the function--or was otherwise related to the function, it would have been quite appropriate to approach her.

If she were just a member of the audience--and especially if she was with other guys, I probably wouldn't have approached her.

LOL....I wouldn't advocate the OP approach the girl while stating he likes her laptop!

Looks funny but first three pictures is the best illustration for all my dozens of offline dating attempts. Even words are a bit similar. That's crap

It wasn't IT related. It turned out to be a speech night and hipster poetry reading but I went there to get a free meal (one of the poems was even about how he was here to get a free meal).

The girl in question was audience only. She wasn't with a guy. She sat between two middle aged women and didn't much. Some of the time she just played with her phone

If it was about poetry, you could have asked her if she writes poetry, and offer insights into some of the poems which were read there. You could have offered your opinion about a poem which struck you with some intensity. Maybe about how the person read it--maybe about the content of the poem--maybe about the meter of the poem if it could be discerned.

If she didn't seem like she wanted to be bothered, I would have withdrawn gracefully.

However, maybe there could have been an opening there.

If I was there, I could have assessed the situation better, and maybe even offer some decent advice--who knows?

Good idea. I could've asked her which poem she liked best. Even though they were all terrible

I just wanted to mention one piece of it, that is the actual physical approach. I think it is best done purposefully, not timidly. I would say its a matter of your personal style on how to do it. But whatever you do, once started don't ever abort the mission halfway. I myself like the zombie-style approach.


It's not as easy as it looks to get this right!

Now once you reach proximity and its time to communicate, well your on your own. But maybe its better to be more open about the reason you are doing it. Your not really doing it to get their opinion on poetry and it may fall flat putting too much into pretending. I think its ok to show with your attitude and body language that they are what primarily interests you and the poetry (or whatever) is secondary.

P.S. Fifty thousand out of a scale to 1-10? Wow!

If she was playing with her phone maybe she didn't like the poetry either, doesn't sound like she was a very enthusiastic audience member, and neither were you...perhaps there could have been some common ground there.

not realisitc. its more likely the woman would be creeped out or is hoping the guy doesn't get closer.
or thinking why is this guy sitting right next to me. standard one seat apart and look theres open seat right next to him

That makes sense but I will still be tricky to pull off. If I'm not standing in front of a mirror I have even less awareness of my own body language than I do of other people's.

So I can get away with being overt?

Yeah... on my 1-10 scale I usually give a few thousand bonus points to skinny Asian girls
There are very few of them in my white bread suburb

She spent some of that time videoing the poetry with her phone so maybe she was interested in it.

I've learned with people in general not to give negative opinions on subjects I know little about. You never know when someone might like something you hate. It's not that I want to agree with everyone but if it's regarding a topic I know little about it can be very hard to back up my conflicting opinions.

If it's in a topic I know about then I don't mind disagreeing with people and once someone disagrees with me I won't go back on my original opinion (this is a very bad thing to do, it makes you look weak or like you're more interested making them like you then having a conversation).

As for the poems themselves, I couldn't really say what I disliked about them much because I wasn't listening much of the time. You might think it's ignorant of me to hate poems I didn't pay attention too but I think if they were good they would have held my attention easily (some poems do). For me, the worst insult I can give a poem/song/movie is that it was so boring I can't remember what it was about.

Are you sure you're not just thinking negatively like I usually do? Sometimes I think the real world might be less crapsack than the working model of it I keep in my head. Have you experienced the scenario depicted in the first three panels?

Last edited by RetroGamer87 on 06 Nov 2014, 2:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

In that case I imagine she was...but considering you didn't enjoy it, might make things akward, like if you had approached her and exchanged numbers or something and planned to get together it might make it hard to figure out something you'd both enjoy doing. But sometimes people do end up in relationships with people that don't really have all that similar of interests and still manage to make it work though I imagine they at least have some things in common.....I am more the type that would want someone who'd want to enjoy activities/intrests together. Anyways that said, the approach of talking about the poetry would not have worked too well from the sound of it, if you didn't like it and she did as she'd probably have caught on to your lack of enthusiasm or something so I agree with the poster who mentioned a more direct approach....rather than acting intrested just to you know ask her out or whatever, better to just ask her out or ask if she wants to exchange numbers but also greet them in a friendly manner to determine their initial reaction...but be mentally prepared for rejection since it does happen and probably less painful if you've somewhat prepare yourself for the possibility.

For me the easiest way to attempt to bond with anyone is finding a common interest and going from there....don't really know other ways of approaching interactions initially.

Yes, you are right at that.

And I don't think girls write on blogs about some cute boy they saw in a train, never read a such blog/forum posts from girls.

But guys do, like Retrogamer, he made a thread for a stranger girl he just saw in some event .

I have seen such things from girls, sort of surprised you haven't....though I guess much of the time girls will just verbally talk about that stuff among friends, but I see girls talking about that sort of stuff or complaining about a guy they like not liking them back.