A difficult decison

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Hi. I don't post here much but I thought I could ask your guy's advice on something.
For the longest time I have been in love with this girl who I have known for three years. To this day I have never met a woman who has matched her in compassion, beauty, and intelligence. My feelings for her snuck up on me really as I didn't realize I loved her until about a year ago.

I did not want to disturb her with this, because I believe someone as great as T. deserves someone a lot better than yours truly. In a few weeks however she's going to be moving across the country and I will likely never see her again. I don't want to bother her with my secret, but I don't want to go on with my life regretting that I never even mentioned this to her. I want to write her an unsigned letter, to at least in some way confess my feelings for her. Problem is, I don't want to disturb her with this either, and I'm afraid she may guess at my identity. I don't know what to do.

Are you close with her? It's entirely unclear from your post. If you are, you at least want to let her know that she is important to you, and to make an attempt to keep in contact. If you're not, it's too late now.

TELL HER TELL HER TELL HER TELL HER. And if you must write to her....MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS IT'S FROM YOU. Take it from a woman....WE WANT TO KNOW THESE THINGS.But also let her know if she wants to just be friends, then you will accept that. But TELL HER. You will spend forever wondering what could have happened. I remember in college I told a guy that I had a crush on him from Jr.High and parts of high school.He freaked...."Why didn't you tell me?" I felt the same way about you too" Oh well.............

This situation sucks. I know it well. Tell her and you risk losing her friendship, or take a chance for what you truly want. The few times that I have told someone I like them, the friendship was destroyed. Not on my part, I would have been perfectly okay being just friends.

If you have been in love with her for over a year, why have you not told her? What makes you think that you are not worthy of her?

I don't think writing an unsigned letter accomplishes anything. After all, the point is to let her know that you feel this way, isn't it?

If she's moving across the country, and you'll never see her again, and you don't plan on keeping in touch as friends and such, then just tell her. After all, if she does happen to feel the same way, then you'll probably find a way to join her.

I don't know, you wouldn't want to lose a good friendship. If at all possible see if she likes you first, although with the Aspieness that could be difficult.

She's moving so you have nothing to lose. If you do it right.

Say you've always felt this way for her but didn't realize it. She'll probably think it is nice and will leave with a "warm and fuzzy" feeling.

Ok... it seems the majority of you want to be more daring than I normally am. Well... I can't. Jesus, I Ive faced knives, fists, and incoming buses without running but to look into those eyes of hers... dammit, I know y'all are right but that doesn't make it any easier. I seriously have never met, heard of, or even read about any woman as great as her. Compared to her I'm nothing, that simple. And to ruin my relationship with her because of my selfish needs... It's just not worth it.

Tell her, you must. Perhaps she has the same feelings for you...

Don't let a good chance go to ruin.

teeelll heeerrrrrr!

Hm, maybe I should have just read this thread instead of posting mine.

No. There are definite differences.

Woah.

I'd say that you shouldn't be so rash here mate.




Greetings. I'm Doc Gamester, resident Date Doctor, Psych Advisor, and general councilor type.

The way that I see it is that you've come to a point in your relationship where you're not sure anymore, and while you love her, you don't want to hurt her.

my advice for this is to seek God in this, to see where his direction leads.

Hope thats helpful.

--Sir Gamester--