when you split up with someone..

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how do you stop youself from phoning them or texting them
by the way ive remembered the number so i cant just delete it...

I haven't been in that situation but I would say you'd just have to resist and tell yourself you're probably torturing yourself by doing it. I'm sure it's hard to let go but try and distract yourself somehow, do you need to tell them to keep their distance, you could just ignore their replies though they mightn't like that you're perfectly entitled to ignore.

I write long impassioned letters. Plus, I don't have a phone.

Writing letters does help (not necessarily sending them).

I never had a problem with this. When I broke up with my most recent girlfriend, which happened about a week ago, that was it. I didn't feel a trace of an urge to contact her. What I did miss was the conversations with her, and the physical stuff. However, I can easily get the physical stuff from an escort, which means I won't end up getting back together with her solely for that reason.

I find that the Aspie predeliction towards making a decision and not going back on it can be useful in this kind of a situation.

Resolve that you'll make a rule not to do it. Maybe tell a close friend about it and ask her/him to hold you to it. Maybe even set up some consequences for yourself - promise to give them a twenty if you do, or something like that.

Also, make it easier on yourself to resist - keep yourself busy with whatever else you have going on in your life that has nothing to do with your ex - school, work, video games, things like that.

There's no magic formula, and it's definitely hard, but you just might feel better about yourself if you surprise yourself with how resolute you can be.

Good luck!

Wait a week, until they call you and announce that they've had a one night stand with someone almost double their age who they met at an S&M club. That's what happened to me last weekend, and it made things *much* easier.

It would me - think of it as "they're a waster anyway" sort of sense.