Why can't I find someone who isn't heartless?

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I dont know why but it seems like 95% of the time I get conned, backstabbed and betrayed and with someone out for her own gain giving me false promises and lies and only to use me then toss me aside like garbage. I know not all women are like that but I want to beable to trust again but i have trouble doing so I trust most women like a wild animal trusts humans, I do not hate them but sometimes I am afraid of them and fear they just want to use me and destroy me from within my heart has been broken so many times that I feel like I dont have a heart anymore but I am hurting where my heart is supposed to be I am feeling lonely I don't know what to do these days and think im just one of those people who does not deserve to be happy or have someone in my life.

This ´women are mean´, ´women are heartbreaks´ attitude, it won't get you no where.

I've gotten my heart broken twice by men I loved. The first one, I felt like he would just want to see me for the physical aspect. All of a sudden he would bail out of dates we had set for weeks. It really hurt me at the time. The second guy, an aspie, I always took the initiative to set up dates, to make each other meet and he never took the initiave back. NEVER. I felt like I was supportive, warm, sweet, attentive, nurturing and he didn't want a relationship with me. In the end, I called it a quits. I did feel hurt, because with all the efforts I made for him, he still didn't want a relationship with me. He said: 'it's not you, I'm just at a hard time in my life right now'. I don't believe those excuses.
Now, more and more I am starting to realize that it wasn't ME, but that these guys were just not boyfriend material. That perhaps there was nothing wrong with me, but with them. But that doesn't mean all men are like that. I made the wrong choiches and there are probably a lot more suitable mates for me that would want to make me their girlfriend and have a commited relationship with me. To appreciate me, treat me like gold, and realize how lucky they are to have such a smart, beautiful, caring, witty and goofy woman.

Women sense when you have a defeatist attitude, you just have to learn to relax. I know it's easier said than done.. but if you want success, you just have to let things flow, if you're constantly self-conscious and seeking validation for everything it's guaranteed never to work. You have to treat everyone as innocent until proven guilty as well, I've had my heart broken as much as anyone else who'd post here, I learned I can't just assume every woman is out to get me and I can't assume everyone is malicious. Trust issues and insecurity ruin relationships faster than everything. All I can do is take the negative experiences I had, learn from them and not allow myself (or, them) to repeat those things again.

I have issues with attracting black hearted women, and fluzzies.

They are a temporary solution for a permanent problem. Those are easy. I have no good advice. Your not alone.

Stay red.

It took me almost 3 decades to learn exactly how sh***y some women can be. I can thank my ex-roommate for that. But even still, most of them seem to be out to get the decent guys in whatever way they can (note: not in the good way). Maybe not intentionally, but it sure seems like it. I learned to hold my head up, shrug, and continue on without 'em. It works for me.

All these people talking about "I had my heart broken, blah blah blah but they're innocent until proven guilty lolz" have NOT been through the type of soul-shattering s**t that people like me and AO have been through. I can tell you that right now. I've been hit, jumped by groups of 6 or more, sexually assaulted, had my name dragged through the mud (which is even now affecting me, 10 years later), and so, so, SO many other terrible experiences in 27 years that I can't even begin to fathom why others think I should get back into dating. And the worst part is, none of these things were done to me by men, the ones you would maybe expect to jump you, at least. Only women.

And this whole "people have radar" thing needs to stop too. It is such BS.

Really, the only women I need in my life are my best friend, my mom, and my sister. No one else is worth the time of day to me.

yes true

I talked to women many times irl and tried to socialize as possible (didn't work). I can say this, that most of the time, i get tossed to the side and they seem to not want anything to do with me. I get misunderstood a lot and i wasn't even trying to take advantage of them, i just wanna get to know them and formed a friendship or beyond that. I'm already giving up doing that and just focus on my hobbies. Our whether be happy doing things that i love than to get hurt too many times.

tbh i'm a committed relationship type. (never dated anyone before)

Jeepers, fellahs! You've hit on just about every negative stereotype ever applied to women, and this is only the first page!

Here's a thought: If every woman you've ever known has dumped you, then maybe you should start focusing on the single most common factor in all of your failed, miserable relationships.

Namely, YOURSELF!

For the sake of perspective; you could try out dating men and find out they're not different. In that case your rant would at least have some relevance towards people in general, not a specific gender.