Giving my friend a reality check about dating and age!

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Last night in the bar one of my friends who is about 21 years old was saying "I never want to settle down with a girl when I am young and want to be a free agent until I am at least 40". Another friend of mine gave him a reality check saying "dude when you reach age 40 unless your really rich you will not be getting anywhere near as many chances with women compared to how old you are now."

Do you think that's true or not?

I think that it is true to an extent. At age 40, most people are either settled down already, or they are divorced with all the baggage that comes with it. Not to mention, if you ever want to have children, then 40 is kind of pushing the upper limit of where that's possible. I think that there are still plenty of dating opportunities in that age range, but they are not the same for the reasons above.

I don't think it's true.

Someone who's good looking & charismatic will attract others until they're quite old. They'll just attract whoever is attracted to them at their current age throughout their life. When they're young they attract people who are into young people, when they're older they attract people who are attracted to older people. People live a lot longer now.. 40's are the new 30's. Besides, people don't exactly have expiry dates. If they've got "it" they'll continue to attract people - take a look at how many middle aged+ celebrity types are considered very attractive well into their 50's. (money/fame aside, I'm just talking age - people don't consider them old and unattractive by 40.)

Agreed.

He's right.

I think you're right, op. Most people who date younger are charismatic or rich. Dating significantly younger people is more the realm of exceptional people.

I've always gravitated towards older women. My first "girlfriend" was only 3 years older than me, but my first "real" girlfriend was 21 years older than me. My wife is 10 years older than me. I don't see any problem with inter-generational dating, and as I've aged and matured it's actually getting somewhat easier to attract younger women. (It's amazing how many girls who wouldn't have even looked at you before getting married start coming out of the woodwork afterwards... it's like "Where were you all those years I was single, huh?!")

Anyway, I hope it's untrue cuz I didn't get to sow many wild oats when I was in my 20s, so I'm hoping to make up for that when I'm older.

I see this to be quite common in the West, not sure about elsewhere now. Many people (not everyone) don't even plan for marriage until they are in their 30s. But I personally don't see the point of waiting, better to get into it early while you are still young, also for women there is the biological clock thing if they choose to do something with it.

I meet few women around my age (30) who are actively looking. However, younger and older women seem to be more interested.

I've always dated younger women even my proper relationships not that there have been many have all been up to 14 years younger than me. I just have never found women of my age that attractive. even when I was younger, I still went for girls a few years younger than me. Thant said, you never can tell what will happen down the line. relationships are a funny old thing.

I don't understand these guys. Why not just pursue a healthy relationship with women his own age?

Men who use their wealth, experience, and social status to prey upon women of younger generations are abusive creeps.

Disagree entirely.

Some guys are only attracted to younger people, and some people are only attracted to older guys - hence the matches regardless of wealth, experience, and social status.

There are no rules of attraction that state people must be attracted to people their own age.

I say this as someone who is only attracted to younger than myself. I could never see myself dating anyone the same age or older than I am; it's simply a major turn off. Close in age is fine, just has to be younger than me. It's just the way I'm wired and I'm sure the way many others are, too.

Besides all that, there's the simple fact that this sort of intergenerational attraction and pairing has been going on throughout all history. The bigger better stronger faster smarter more successful alpha male gets to choose the healthiest prettiest fertile female to mate with. There's got to be some biological evolutionary reasons behind pairs like these, too.

Wow, some people are so judgmental, like the previous poster said, you can't help how your wired. You also can't fight your feelings and emotions and you shouldn't have to if people would just keep their thoughts and prejudices to themselves. I have never had wealth or good looks and I'm also no good at chatting girls up at all so my relationships have been fairly mutual as we have just clicked or they have pursued me. There are simply no hard and fast rules for love and relationships. There are people that use their wealth and status for this purpose but at the end of the day both parties have a choice in the matter so wheres the harm as long as nobody gets hurt.

http://www.theatlantic.com/health/archi ... ge/382520/

But the guy in the OP didn't even mention age of the partner, right? He just didn't want to get married young himself, I think that is pretty common among men that age. I'm 30 now and I don't see a reason to get married or have children.
If the man in the OP wants to get married later in life, maybe he'll marry a woman of his age who also wants to marry later in life.