Why is my Aspie boyfriend acting this way? NEED help :(

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First off, My Fiancee/Ex Fiancee (Not sure right now) has Aspergers and is 25 years old (If any of that helps) Anyway, We met online through a group for the cartoon show Hey Arnold! We are both fans and got to know each other for about a month before meeting in offline life. I lived in Michigan and he in Florida, I traveled down to Florida with my family (Neither me nor him can drive) And we met, we got along great so the next night we decided for me to stay over night as his house and take it to the next level, we were sexually intimate. His mother and I also had a chance to get to know one another and her and I also got along great. The next morning as I was leaving his mother was crying and asking me when I would be back and also was asking my family, she even was trying to help us choose a place to move to, saying so we could be close to her son.

Through out the next 7 months him and I chatted online, in almost all of his chats to me he said he wanted me to come to Florida. So in September, because I felt we were extremely close, I and my family gave up everything we owned to relocate by him. And since then, we has never ONCE come to see me, no he can't drive but his mother will happily take him anywhere, and my family would gladly come pick him up. He asked me to marry him, and even so much as planned what state we would be married in, and even what month/season. Every time I would ask him if I could see him he was "Too busy" and he has turned me down for several dates claiming that his mother said no, and that because he is Hispanic that in his culture people of all ages ask their parents permission to go on a date (Which I know for a fact to be a lie) And since then I have been homeless twice, and every time I would tell him I had to go back to Michigan because I was homeless from Florida's high prices he would say "NO STAY HERE!! ! I will come around!" and promise me everything and basically the moon too, so I have been staying because I am deeply in love with him.

And last night I confronted him on ALL of this (In a formal and logical way) and he became angry and hostile, and is telling me its all MY fault and that he is not in the wrong! And that I hurt him badly because I confronted him. Why has be done this? and why is he acting this way? Was I just used as a computer fling?

Do you have a place to stay?

I am an aspie, and I will try to give you advice. i have also been in love before, just as you are right now.

1. And this is the most important

find a place to stay

2. second

find means to support yourself

3.

think about the following:

"Don't cross oceans for a person who wouldn't cross a puddle for you."


Dear sweetieblonde22,

your fiancee is not ready for you. this has nothing to do with being aspie. It is about growing up. He needs more time, which you can't give him.

And:

get a driver's licence.
grow up, be more responsable than he is.

Good luck to you and all the best.

I really don't know how you and your family were convinced to give up everything in Michigan to come down to Florida and be closer to him. I'll repeat the word that really shocked me here: Your Family

Paul above me has some pretty good advice on this. Not much else to say. But for someone to convince a whole family to move down and not take responsibility over the way they treat others doesn't sound like an Aspie related issue to me either. It most certainly is a respect, maturity and responsibility issue.

What a weird story.

"My mom won't let me go" I wouldn't believe this from a male if he were 13. If he wanted you, he'd go get you. So you even acknowledge his blatant and terrible lie but do nothing.. I mean this in the most respectful way possible but is this a joke? He told you to move 1,500 miles to be closer to him and you're homeless? He won't see you? What are you doing? Get out of there and block his number. Give him an ultimatum, if he doesn't take it, leave. The situation you're in is just almost too ridiculous to believe.

Agreed.

If a guy does not make time to see me as I desire then I will call it a quits. I deserve more and I am not the needy type at all.

I don't think it matters what he is at this point. He has proved himself a total bastard, which crosses all psychological and ethnic lines. Don't have anything more to do with him or his messed up Enabler-Mom again.

So time to put your own lives back on track with this episode just a bad experience/lesson.

He is a complete jerk. Simple as that.

He sounds like a commitment phobe. It's up to you if you want to deal with this problem.

Okay, here's one part of your story that I don't understand. Why did you and your family sell everything that you own in order to live near a guy who you met on the internet when you both lived in different towns?

Kind of sounds like catfishing but at least he isn't asking you for money. That is why I didn't do long distance relationships. I was always afraid of getting ripped off or things not working out.

Very much so. Including some of the language.

Do commitment phobes really exist or is it just a matter of not having met de right girl?
I dated a guy for a few months. We were monogamous but when I asked him wether we were in relationship he said that he didn't want one. He went through a period of depression a few months before he met me, had just broken up with his ex who stalked him and was under huge pressure to pass all of his exams. He said he was a commitment o phobe and that I had nothing to do with me. I don't believe that. Doesn't the right person always change even the most phobic person?

I think most people just use other people and think of every psychological loophole they can to justify using women for their own self esteem issues and sexual needs. Or some people just don't want to have the burden of having to cater to someone else's needs, aka, too selfish. I could be cynical.

I think they do exist, and some may change with the right person. Their level of commitment depends on how well they handle emotional burden. If they are on a lighter side, they would probably come off as just more selective or passive. An obvious pattern would be that they would be more impulsive and be really into you at the start, but then back off if things get intimate. Also women can be commitment phobes as well.