Should I break up with her?
Thefan630
Butterfly
Joined: 24 Feb 2014
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 10
Location: Murten, FR, Switzerland
So, I'm 16, in a LDR with a girl that's 19, for ca. 9 months now. It's my 2nd LDR, I never went past a hug with a female that wasn't family. And I'm unsure if I should break up with her. So I really need help now!
I have AS, she knows it. She has ADHD and Dyslexia, I know it. I'm sure this makes it kinda hard for us to understand eachother. We've been happily together going through our lifes. We couldn't meet this summer as I was moving a couple of Km away to a really nice house. This winter neither, as I'm so young I can't find work and for her it's family time. But what mostly upsets me is the fact I have so much free time currently and she's busy. We barely talk or have barely skypped lately. On top of that, she often takes time to awnser because she's gaming and says it's for letting her emotions out, while I stand here not seing her logic, I'm f*****g here lonely and want to talk.
One of the friends I have since long but barely talks to me now says I should wait more. The other which we talk much more often but we only started talking few months ago, says I should break up, it's not worth changing. I do want to change, but not in such a huge way. I seriously have no idea anymore, I'm tired of waiting, and maybe she isn't the right one although she's literally cry at my feet for me to never stop talking to her. I'm right now in a set of mind where I'll stay with her, and go for someone else irl if I can. But due to my shyness (my parents don't know the full truth about her), it's unluckely.
Resuming, I've lost the contact and love I had to her and want to kinda break-up because of that and the distance, at the same time I'm desperate as I still love and want to care for her and that I can't find anyone else.
Thank you very much
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Thefan630
Thefan630
Butterfly
Joined: 24 Feb 2014
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 10
Location: Murten, FR, Switzerland
I don't know if I do. I'm quite pessimist actually.
She says what probably every girlfriend says: I'm pretty, cute, and so on, and tjat she wants time wth me and all. But we have relatively low time together. She's either not capable due to stuff she has to do, or the above mentioned gaming. That's why I'm unsure. I can see a future with her if she actualy is there. She says she does her best but I don't feel very much from it.
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Thefan630
You guys are at the age where you have your whole life ahead of you to figure out what you want to do with it. This kind of behaviour seems normal to me for people in their late teens. However, once you get into your mid-late twenties, the kind of behaviour the girl is displaying would likely earn her the label of "time waster"
Considering the circumstances in your posts, it might be in your best interest to communicate with her about what you want and see if she can do that for you.
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Your Aspie score: 130 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 88 of 200
You are very likely an Aspie
Thefan630
Butterfly
Joined: 24 Feb 2014
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Posts: 10
Location: Murten, FR, Switzerland
Well, I've thought as well to have a talk. I actually send her huge texts often trying to explain. But we never get the chance to talk, she can't make room. To be honest currently our "dream goals" are into different directions, but I care too much, it'd hurt to let her go
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Thefan630