Struggles of trying to communicate with a girl I like.

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Firstly, a bit of background. I'm 20 and my parents told me a few years ago that I'd been diagnosed when I was younger. I was pretty damn annoyed that they'd kept it from my, but it was probably for the best. I had few problems socially in primary school (up to about age 11) but had few friends and no relationship experiences at all in my teen years.

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So, I'm now at Uni and there's this girl who's a flatmate of one of my friends. I find her really attractive and when I first met her at the bar, she kept telling my how much she loved my accent (I've got quite a well-spoken English accent). Multiple people have told me that this girl likes me.

I met again at a party a week later and she kept trying to talk to me, but I ended up getting too drunk to talk properly which p*ssed me off no end afterwards.

I took the initiative and started to chat to her on facebook after the party, but I got no indication that she was being flirty, and after about a week, the small talk kinda just died out.

I met her again by accident at the bar again with some of my mates and chatted for a bit- just about general stuff, like how bad the karaoke was! She didn't give much indication of being flirty again either, which I can't work out if it's because she's shy, or whether it was because we were sitting with other people.

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My main issue now is what next? It doesn't seem right to start up another random facebook conversation after not messaging her for about a week- especially as I barely know her, and I don't get to see her in person that much either.

I don't know if it's because I've got AS, or that I've been a bit down at Uni before I met her, but I'm really feeling depressed about the whole situation now.

Because I've had no experience with flirting with girls prior to this, it feels like I have no idea what to say, and it seems like every waking moment I'm preoccupied thinking about different things to say to her, or different situations and it's adversely affecting my studies as well.

In short, it's driving me crazy that I have pointless knowledge of things that I don't really want to know about (like naming every countries' flag and still being able to almost completely remember the entire content of this dinosaur book I had as a kid), but be completely useless when it comes to noticing relationship cues and being able to know what to say to a girl.

Any help would be much appreciated, thanks

Same boat here mate. The good thing is we share classes. The bad is that she hardly, if ever, uses "social" messaging.

I'm happy to be around her, but always freeze up when she asks me stuff. Guess I'm lucky she even notices me...

I would say try becoming her friend first, but I'm having trouble here as well...

I think I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and ask her out in a couple of days after her Birthday. Yeah, I don't really see her enough to become a friend first and I've got no desire to try and break out of the friendzone!

Good luck on your end too.

I think she might have gotten the impression that you weren't interested because of how long you two talked/flirted without progressing to dating. I don't know exactly what was said between you two, but sometimes it's hard to know how another person feels from both the NT and the Aspie end of things.

Asking her out at least makes things clearer. You're not total strangers and you're clearly both comfortable talking. Sometimes hard rules about when you can and can't ask someone out just prevent people from connecting.

I'm actually in the same situation with a guy in one of my classes. The advice people keep giving me is to just tell him I like him, so I think your plan is a good one.

I couldn't tell you for sure, because I wasn't there, but it sounds like she either thinks you don't like her, or she had a few too many at the bar the other night.

I would ask her to meet for lunch or coffee or something casual like that, so it's not a huge and unexpected step, but it's clear that you're asking to hang out with her on her own. Maybe you would have a better chance to progress from there than at parties or nights out with a ton of people.