Only requiring an intimate relationship

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NoBody
Butterfly
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Joined: 3 Feb 2015
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 15

03 Feb 2015, 6:35 am

I have little to no desire to interact on a social level yet after a relationship of ten years that was very sexual in nature; with sex every day at least once. I'm finding the idea of having to lie and "con" my way into people's beds rather distasteful at the very least.

I was sent by my local mental health "service" at the hospital to a councillor they have not vetted at all. After a year of counselling I was advised, well ordered to go to mandatory dating events "To find a partner to love" (his words) as part of my "recovery" which resulted in a general disconnect on almost every level with the people I met.

I do not generalise here (as I've read the TOS) but felt they (the people at the events) were totally unappealing except on a physical level. The end result of this "therapy" when the councillor advised me there was something wrong with me for not wanting to get married and have children and advised I used prostitutes.

I discontinued my therapy shortly afterwards and complained to the NHS (they still give out their details on fliers) but have not attempted a physical relationship since. I am wondering if others have found a way to manage this without following this councillors advice and using prostitutes, or perhaps you have.

Three years after this I was diagnosed with autism but at the time I was just "broken"/"waste of space"/"rude" etc, all terms used by medical professions. Now I have a diagnosis (in part) I was curious if anyone had any advice, for perhaps what might be a shallow response but please do not judge me for this rather honest acceptance of who I am.

Kind Regards
NoBody



downbutnotout
Veteran
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03 Feb 2015, 7:07 pm

There's no need to lie your way into people's beds. I think people are actually more open to casual sex and casual relationships today than they were years ago. The only factors I can see working against you here are your age (eventually, a lot of people do want a family) and any difficulties when it comes to meeting people.

You sound like you're happy to wait for something appealing, though. No judgment here. From someone who's been lied to a lot, thanks for just being honest about what type of relationship you're looking for and letting others do their own thing.



NoBody
Butterfly
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05 Feb 2015, 8:07 pm

Thank you downbutnotout :heart:

As someone who got told by OkCupid I was at the wrong website :lol: I think I've found it hard to connect with likeminded people on this topic and am feeling pressured into telling someone what they want to hear. Its true I am rather picky and equally a tad blinkered in my tastes but believe it might also be the area I live in as well / age etc playing their part.

I was hoping maybe this was road previously tread by others, and someone might have some sagely advice :D



Who_Am_I
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05 Feb 2015, 8:36 pm

There are adult personals sites where you can go and find other people who are explicitly seeking a purely physical relationship.


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SBennett0322
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08 Feb 2015, 9:16 am

Yes, there are websites used for allowing people to have only physical relationships. Have you tried using Tinder? It would be acceptable to use a person only for sex if that person is willing to do so.

Have the women you've slept with told you that their feelings were hurt by any of your actions? I did not know AS people were capable of lying.

I think your habit of only being physical is not harmful unless the people you are sleeping with have experienced distress from your actions.