Is she hitting on me? Are these signals of interest?

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Short version:
Is it common for girl cashiers to adjust their bra to indicate attraction for a guy? And would a girl grocery bagger offer to help a fully-capable man out to his car with only four small plastic bags of groceries unless she was attracted to him, a load I easily carried in one hand?

Long version:
For the girls here (or guys if you have anything useful to add), if you worked or if you have worked as a grocery store cashier or bagger, how do you indicate interest if you're attracted to someone?

I ran to the grocery store kind of late in the evening, and had finished shopping around 9pm, and I was the only one checking out. I look probably late 30's and she's probably early 20's, maybe like a college freshman/sophmore. I appear fully capable to carry the $25 worth of groceries I bought in one hand since they're all in 4 plastic bags (which I did do when I got them home).

This girl bagger didn't ask if I need help taking the groceries out to my car, she says "I'll help you out with this," as in, I will roll the cart with the scant amount of groceries in it out to your car, even though we can both see that you are completely in no need of my further assistance.

I said No, you don't need to do that. To this, she didn't say, "ok." She said, "Are you sure"? With her head turned and chin angled and eyes looking up at me. It felt like she wanted to talk to me more. It's almost as if her words weren't registering at the time, and I'm only now processing them afterward. It was as I drove off, I was like, was she trying to tell me…?

That was the bagger. The cashier was telling me about being on drill team while adjusting the bra strap under her arms, and not one hand to one side, either, but this was the full bird-wing thing, each hand under each arm grabbing the strap at each side, which was difficult because of the smock uniform she had on over it, and which she was doing for almost the entire time I was swiping my card and paying during which time she was talking to me or to her friend who was the aforementioned grocery bagger. It didn't seem like she was really trying to accomplish anything, other than attract my attention to the area of interest. Is this something you can end up doing without thinking about it? Seems that with the few number of people checking out that she would have had ample time to do this before or after I went through the line. And both girls were chattering away with me. Again, it doesn't register in the moment, only after I'm out of the situation.

Are any of these known signals for trying to get a male to respond or notice, or how do you indicate interest? Would you ever offer to push a huge shopping cart out to the parking lot that only had four small bags of groceries in it for a fully able-bodied man in their 30's? And is grappling with bra-straps just everyday activity now when dealing with the public, or was I getting signalled?

Grappling with bra straps is usually a sign of discomfort, not a come hither. I wouldn't read too much into things unless it happens again.

From reading the encounter, I'd guess that the they were both probably bored out of their minds, and that the cashier was having issues with her bra. The bagger probably just wanted an excuse to do something more than stand at the end of the aisle and listen to the cashier talk. It was so late, and the store was so empty, that the cashier probably couldn't or didn't care enough to go off and adjust herself in a bathroom or something like people usually do. If you interact with the same women again, especially at a more busy time, and they react in a similar fashion, then it might mean something. Otherwise, eh, odd encounters happen.

The problem with interest signals, is that they are different for everybody. Not even NT's can pick up on them a lot of times.


I would say go back again, and pay more attention next time, if she doesn't remember you, or treats you like any other customer, move on.

Now, if she says "hey, I remember you, I helped you with your bags the other night", and offers to take them out for you again, with a big smile on her face, I would say, you might be onto something.

The bra thing can indeed be just due to discomfort, rarely is this done as an actual signal.

as for carrying the bags, she was most likely fishing for a tip, nothing more

Oh boy, a whole massive thread just because some girl adjusted her bra and offered help with bags.

Thanks to those who actually offered assistance!

You're most welcome.

If I was able to sift through what is and is not a social cue, I would not need to be on this forum asking questions that may seem obvious to others. Learning now what this type of boredom looks like in others is useful for me.

The fact that this is irrelevant to you, suggests you don't have one of the primary impairments of ASD or have learned to negotiate it when in a similar situation. For that you should be thankful and not marginalize those who do not share that benefit and are working to overcome the struggle the impairment creates.

The fact that you belittle those who are impaired with one of the primary symptoms of mind blindness or social blindness, however it manifests, suggests to me that you enjoy creating misery for others.

And that belittling others boosts your self-image which must be in need of it, because you could otherwise easily ignore it and just move on to a post that was relevant to you.

You might find it helpful to remember that people who are employed in service industries are paid to be pleasant and helpful to customers. Offers of help, such as the carrying of bags, are usually company policy and that's why the offer is made to someone who doesn't actually need help.

And yes, adjusting a bra is due to discomfort, not a come-on.

That does sound good but probably is wrong. This is a common way to explain human diversity that I think is severely flawed. This far, every personality-trait that is not learnt either is neurotypical or neurodiverse, and basically nothing is independent of that. As for interest signals, they have a strong evolutionary reason to be readable, so these simply must be related to the neurodiverse-neurotypical dimension, and there is much evidence that they are too. Thus, there is only two themes on this: A neurotypical and a neurodiverse, and they are not per-individual.



That's the neurotypical way. If she were neurodiverse you would be sure she was interested if she jumped up and down as she saw you.