Why am I not having crushes?

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Despite really wanting to meet someone and feel interested, I'm starting to think the problem isn't that I'm meeting the wrong guys, but that it's something with me. I've gone on a few dates with a few really great fellows since ending a relationship last spring, but I just feel so...platonic towards them. I haven't even really found anyone particularly attractive, I really had to nag myself to take any interest in those guys. It's sort of annoying, because being interested in anyone would be a nice happy feeling to have right now.

It's simple: you feel Platonic towards them. Nothing wrong with that.

When the spark comes, you'll know it!

Even if it doesn't come, you could still start off Platonic--then, maybe, over time, the "spark" will come.

In actuality, the "spark" coming later happens fairly frequently.

I was reviewing my college and grad school life the other day, and realized the same thing-there weren't any females who I really enjoyed spending a lot of time with. Not sure why. I found some attractive, and nice to talk to, etc, but I just never really wanted to be around any of them a lot. Guess that is one reason I had so few relationships. Not sure what was wrong with me-maybe the "loner" characteristic that comes with Asperger's.

Yep...That's quite possible...and it sure saved you from a lot of grief!

I've only had two major crushes in my life. I fall for guys whom have big impacts on my life and whom I can see myself spending the rest of my life with.

Could be that you are not feeling lonely, I think it happens more often to lonely people. Also, crushes are not really a good thing imo, they cloud your judgement and function.

There is nothing wrong with it, in fact there is a community of people who feel the same and they invented a term to define themselves: aromantic. It simply means you don't experience crushes. You may or may not experience sexual attraction but that is rather unrelated.
You can also desire a romantic relationship without even feeling romantically attracted to anyone.

Now you sound like both my therapists and my AA sponsor. Whenever I say that I feel like I missed out on a lot growing up and in college, they tell me how I missed out on heartbreaks, STDs, unwanted pregnancies, etc. I don't know, I am not sure the heartbreak of having a relationship end is as bad as the heartbreak of never being able to get into one, feeling unlovable, like a complete reject. I see my one therapist tomorrow-the one who things that I have PTSD from childhood abuse. If I do, I am sure the bullying I experienced in school also contributed to it. I wonder if rejection by the opposite sex can also fuel PTSD.

Just lost it with my daughter when she started arguing with me tonight. I try so hard to keep my temper, I hate this PTSD stuff if that is what I have.

But....it's in the past, man!! !! You've got a wife. You succeeded after failure, sir.

I can't help it. I don't care if I sound like a therapist or some AA guy. I'm neither, by the way. Just a regular Aspie schmuck.

If you want my opinion, because you're not dumb.

Seriously, my opinion is that all that "love at first sight" love-song claptrap is exactly that: claptrap. It might exist, but it's HORMONES. Not anything that could be said to approximate LOVE.

My opinions on so-called "love relationships" are pretty well-known around here. Given how we actually treat marriage in this country (how we actually treat it when the rubber hits the road, not how we SAY we view/treat it), I don't quite understand why anyone would ask anyone that they truly love to enter into that kind of contract. You wouldn't sign yourself over to an employer heart, body, mind, and soul, for the rest of your life. But this is what we ask of people that we supposedly prize so far above ourselves that we would gladly sacrifice our own safety and happiness in the name of preserving theirs????

Notwithstanding, if one is going to enter into such a contract, it is far better to do it with someone that you share a friendship with rather than to do it on the basis of hormonal arousal.

LOL...I still find attraction between men and women to be cool, at the ripe of age of 54.

I believe in virtuous relationships--but I also believe a "spark" must be there for there to be successful romance.

I guess I am lucky, my wife is my best friend!

Well, I'm not looking for "butterflies" love at first sight junk. Just, to be interested in someone romantically again. And yes, I suspect that I fall somewhere on the asexual spectrum, but never would I expect myself to be aromantic (until now, that is). The thing is, I want romance, whereas I don't entirely feel the necessity of sex.

I met someone very good-looking today, nearly attractive to me but not quite. Usually I would have gotten nervous talking with him, but it didn't really phase me.

Perhaps this is just part of me recovering from the last relationship, and subconsciously expecting things to never work out with anyone again, so that I feel there is no need to impress anyone anyway. Maybe?

I coincidentally had a very peculiar dream last night, which really made feel okay about my ex. Basically I was yelling at him and his real-life new girlfriend about how he wronged me yadda yadda, and I woke up feeling really good and just totally okay with he fact that he's dating this girl now. Maybe it's some funny fate to dream that before meeting this cutie, eh?

And yet, it's usually after a few dates that all interest is entirely fizzled out, so who even knows.

Further thoughts?

LOL...despite all your demurral, you really seem to like this new guy, this "cutie!"

I guess, you should just try it harder. Maybe online dating is your option. I've used it too. Namely Tinder and Kovla website. It works great for me, and I've dated several cool girls from there so far.