Highs and lows of dating

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...I dont think I can deal with them! It just seems like a lot of drama.
First, its hard for me to find someone im interested in. When I do, I get elated and excited.

Then everything comes crashing down. I become very unhappy.

Recently I had a crush, but that fizzled. I figure I said something wrong and scared him off (as usual). I havent heard from him in two months.

I dont see how people can constantly go through this stuff. :/

Well, I don't get elated you see. I simply look forward to spending some time getting to know someone, and perhaps there will be a connection and things will progress, or perhaps not. It's usually not anyone's fault if we aren't compatible so it's no big deal.

Also I'm pretty good at moving on. If I get rejected, I'm no longer interested, as I don't want to date someone who doesn't want to date me. So, rarely is there heartache. And personally I think there are many worse things in life than heartache anyway, and it's definitely worth risking heartache to find someone special. The potential rewards strongly outweigh the potential hurt.

I was like that once. I didn't know how to deal with emotions of any kind at the time. I also gave into self-defeating tendencies (ie. meet someone who likes me and then kinda sabotage it because "whats wrong with her? Noone is ever interested in me.")

Now, I see it as I want to spend time with the gf and I can do it without any real pressure from anyone including myself.

At first I dont get elated, but after awhile I cant help it. I guess this is when I get comfy and say all the wrong things. I guess im sensitive because getting dumped hurts me. Ive had guys straight up disappear.

A relation can go long and long untill and unless you dont bring any communication lapse. It doesnt matter whether you contact the guy/girl first or he/she does. Don't maintain ego in this matter at least!

I have never been on a real date.

I find dating boring and troublesome.

1. I have to decide I want to date someone. Not easy since I am generally not interested in people.
2. I have to change my routine and leave my house to go to an unknown place full of sounds, lights and people.
3. I have to talk with someone I barely know and try to find something to talk about, while ignoring all the things bombarding my senses.
4. I have to decide when it is time to say goodbye. I am usually too late - it happens long after I start yawning and go in semi-shutdown mode.
5. It takes 3 days for me to rest enough and get back to my disturbed routine.

Just leave me alone please.