Got a question about why people date

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(Not sure if this is in the right section if not please re-direct the topic to the appropriate section thanks)


I've got a question that's been on my mind for a long time now I've been noticing people (NT's mostly) wanting to go on dates have a GF either for companionship and/or sex for example: my father after having 4 failed relationships since my mother passed back in 2005 is back on the dating site(s) looking for a girl friend and he's even told me that he'd never get back on a dating site again and a year or two later he's back on line and tell me all about it (which I don't give 2 f..ks about) I'd think after #3 he'd give up maybe adopt another dog and as for my friend I think he's only out for one thing... another example: an acquaintance that I know has been on various dating/porn dating sites and is looking to get back into a gym so that he can get back in shape and start going out on dates.

here's my question Why?

I never been on a date in my adult life however in HS I was attracted to a girl but she couldn't be bothered with me it didn't hurt or anything and I moved on. People have told me that I should start looking for a date but I don't get the concept of dating I'm really not interested in hearing about the other person's day I don't want to know their personal secrets nor am I really interested in sex nor do I care to have the person clean and/or care for me. I just want to be alone maybe meet up with somebody just to catch a movie nothing more I don't get why people fear being alone or why they want to spend time with a person they don't know if it's about sex there are other alternatives besides shacking up with somebody they may not really know.

So why? What is the big deal about dating I mean your going to waste your time and money on somebody you don't know for what sex at the end?

I dunno I guess I'm the "Autistic weird one" in the family as pretty much everybody else in my family/extended family is marred I'm not nor do I care to be.

Because they want to find a partner in life. Because they want sex. Because they enjoy "games'" Many reasons.

Why do you think Billy Joel wanted to be famous?

It's cool, though, if you don't want to date. It's your prerogative.

There is no big deal about dating, but for the reasons that Kraftiekortie just gave, as well as social pressure among NTs, many people make it into a big deal.

Being happy with your own company is a great gift, so consider yourself fortunate. In a not-dissimilar way to you, I prefer companionship.

kraftiekortie,

First: I don't think Billy Joel ever wanted to be "famous" he just wanted people to hear his music in fact he was content with writing his own material and have other musicians cover it, tho he broke out into the scene during the "singer/songwriter" era thus he became popular the fame and fortune came as a result of people listening to his music.

Secondly: I dunno why they enjoy such "games"? Why throw your self out there if there's a 50/50 chance that the relationship will not work? I would think one's time would be better if it were re-directed into more proactive things! If it is about sex which I think is the case with an acquaintance I know why not just go to a strip club pay a stripper to go to the back room or failing that rent a movie and "do your own thing"? If it is companionship why not adopt a dog? they will be more grateful, loyal, and offer hours of TRUE companionship then a person can ever offer.

Hyperborean,

Social pressures amoung NT's? Wha, just to go on a date or have somebody with them for a meaningless social function? please!! If the NT's want to know what true social pressure just ask one of us...

Now please don't think I'm mad at any of youse for replying cause I'm not I'm just trying real hard as I'm getting older to figure out why NT's do some of the things they do.

People date because they can.

Hey Joel,

Maybe you're right: Billy Joel didn't have as much desire for fame as others--but I believe he had some desire for fame, nevertheless. He certainly went through a lot to obtain his fame.

Mr. Joel didn't marry Christine Brinkley solely because she had a virtuous mind; there was at least some physical attraction there.

I don't like "games" either. I like to "tell it like it is."

I would guess that people want to date and have sex, at the heart of it, because it's an instinct--procreation is essential for the survival of our species.

It just so happens that some people have less of a sex drive than others--and that's okay.

About the 50-50 thing: People know they have to take risks in life to "get what they want." This includes a partner. Sometimes, it won't work out--but that's life.

It's important that people respect you for doing your thing.

Dating is a relic of the past which was the courting period which is the whole dating marriage game is. However, due to marriages being about "love" and not a contract to tie two families together it creates this failure of a system we have to day. This is due to the fact love is a just a chemical reaction that eventually wears, thus, cannot last a life time.

Depends how far back you're going. In the days where marriage was a property exchange people didn't date. They were matched by their parents. Or they kind of hovered around each other and then the man would propose. They weren't really allowed to even touch unless they were holding hands to dance at a ball. Dating is more of a 20th Century American thing.

What dating has become is two people who are attracted to each other spending time together because they enjoy being together. That's it really.