What should I do?

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I have a small crush on a class mate. I would like to get to know him better, but my flirting strategies are:
1) The Opossum Method, that is, ignoring him until he goes away
2) The Skunk Method, making fun of him or being really sarcastic when he's around.
Needless to say these techniques haven't been working out very well
I am not very good at telling when guys are attracted to me, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't feel exactly the same way I do. We're part of the same "clique" (hehe), and we've talked alone on occasion, but no more than any other members of the group we hang out with. He is more extroverted than me, so I think that if he liked me he would try to talk to me more often, unless he's a terrible flirt like I am. I tried chatting him up on facebook once, but the conversation kind of died out. I'm not sure this means he wouldn't be interested at all if he knew how I feel. I don't know, he is a bit awkward and stuttery, and our interest do seem to be compatible.
Another thing I'm really insecure about is my appearance. I'm afraid he's on a different level of attractiveness than I am, and my efforts in pursuing him will be useless because of this.
Also, I't terrified that if he says he's not interested people in our course are going to gossip, and I'm pretty sure they already think I'm weird
Recently he told me that he is studying for an English exam, and I would like to ask him if he needs books or movies to practice, and if he responds well, if he would like some tutoring. Do you think this could be a good approach? Would it be bad to contact him online instead of talking face to face? What do you think of the whole situation?
Thank you in advance for your opinions.

Last edited by TheCrookedFingers on 16 Mar 2015, 9:25 am, edited 1 time in total.

I would say the best method is no "method."

Or maybe somewhere between the "opossum" and the "skunk" method.

This is what I advocate in men--and I advocate this for women, too.

Just continue to talk about what you've been talking about before. Spend quality time with each other. If you feel a desire to stroke the guy's hand subtly, then do it. I think most guys would get the message. Make a joke, and give him a little wink. That's better than more direct overtures.

It wouldn't be wise to be too "forward." No matter how much progress we're making in gender relations, a "forward" woman is still considered in somewhat of a "questionable" light.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 16 Mar 2015, 9:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

Is telling him really out of the question?

Stop playing those lame-o head games on him and tell him that you're interested, before someone else does!

... head games ... pfft ...

Sorry, I accidentally submitted without being finished. I do want to tell him, I'm simply not able to pull off those baffling tricks other girls seem to know naturally. I'm just feeling insecure and would like some opinions before I make a move.

It's always better to be subtle about your "moves" than direct, IMHO.

I respond more to a gentle stroking of my hand than a declaration of desire.

Only one woman has asked ME out in my life...and I felt uncomfortable. Unfortunately, she turned out to be a religious fanatic.

Another woman literally dragged me into her apartment. We had a short-term relationship--but it didn't last long.

Actually, I've been reading a lot of articles saying that most men actually like it when a woman makes the first move - albeit I understand that blurting out "I WANT TO HAVE YOUR BABIESSS" to someone you barely know would be a bit inappropriate, and that it is different for everyone.

I guess you'll find some men like that--but, in my experience, it's probably better for a woman to be on the subtle side.

I guess...come to think of it....you might have a propensity towards being assertive. Perhaps, because it is "you," assertiveness just might work. Because you are being "you."

I, myself, enjoy assertiveness--but not aggressiveness. I've had experiences with "dominant"-type women that have irritated the pants out of me. It wasn't the "dominant" woman that was at fault in this--it was me. In these instances, I should have asserted myself more.

For me, personally, like I stated, I respond more to gentle strokes and gentle winks than a declaration of desire.

I hope the guys responds well to you. You'd be a "good catch!"

As for articles and statistics pertaining to dating: I don't bother with them! We're individuals, not statistics.

I know that the "articles and statistics" have never applied to me, personally.

Thank you
In medical school they gave us psychological tests to fill out, and I did test as being assertive more than manipulative or passive. I probably don't have the patience to wait around for guys to notice my very uneffective signals

That's very irritating to me: the manipulative-passive type of person.

You're more the direct, assertive type it seems. I find that to be, in general, more "real."

ask him if he would like to go out for coffee sometime. Then you will know where you stand

Wouldn't the better approach be some kind of passive method?

Really stand out, dress yourself up to be eye catching, wear bright colors, makeup, and clicky highheels, or whatever goes along with your basic personality because you don't want to be fake, just a louder you.

Then you've gotta just use that peripheral vision so when he's making glances at you you can notice and give him an opportunity to smile at you.

I'd find it cute now if she keep saying it then i'd be freaked out.

i never did get why women are mean to men they like, this just pushes them away. in high school this lady bullied me from 8th -10th grade, at some point people in the class approached me asking if i liked her. i guess she liked me, but after years of being teased and hit by her I had nothing but contempt for her. maybe if she'd just approached me and tried other methods it would have gone somewhere, but between her and a few other girls in grade school I had a fear of women that turned into avoiding them and having a crush from a distance until i was 22.
just don't get it.

if girl did that to me know it'd likely just bring up those issues and i'd avoid her. i'm super nice to girls I like, thats how i show interest.

Those things would make me think the women doesn't like me. You may have to be direct & tell him you like him & be prepared if he's shocked that you do.

The problem is, I don't do it on purpose. I just get a little anxious when he's around so I end up acting even more awkwardly than I usually do.

Yesterday I asked him if he needed material for his English exam and he politely refused (his mother is an English teacher ) but we ended up chatting all evening on facebook. I'm still feeling pretty insecure, though. How can I be sure that I'm attractive enough to be on par with him? I know I can't really be sure, but how do I get enough confidence to pretend that I' sure? Wow, I can feel myself becoming more and more irrational, thank you neurotransmitters and hormones

As for being attractive enough: if you are attracted to someone, you will pretty much always rate them as better looking than yourself, right?

Ah Kortie,

You are always a wise one