Discussion: Autism and Polyamory

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What are your views on Polyamory?
What are your experiences?
How did you make poly relationships work?
What went wrong?

Basically, discuss Polyamory here.

Is anyone else involved with poly with an aspie?

Yes. I tend not to talk about poly much as I find discussing personal relationships with strangers on the internet to be difficult to get a useful and interesting conversation about as there isn't really anything objective.

That could be said of discussing anything here on the internet, yet that's what forums are all about I'll open dialogue with anyone who is interested about the topic.

I find that it applies more polyamoury than any other subject I've come across. How autism affects me has a a useful overlap with how it affects other people on this forum, how three oddballs have an oddball relationship out of personal choice is something I've found works in such a personal way that discussing it with other people isn't helpful. It's a lifestyle entirely tailored to the people involved, not something I've found I can really identify with any community on. I know there is a poly community, but my experience seems completely irrelevant to theirs and vice versa.

I admit to being very curious about the whole polyamory thing. I think the reason why I'm not too tense over it is because I believe that you can have more than one "one", if you understand. So, the idea of love being a family (or even a sexual curiosity) seems pretty interesting to me. Would I love to try it one day? Sure, just to see what it is like.

I'm not even wanted by one (IRL), being wanted by many (or wanting many) just doesn't compute.

I get so attracted to the person I'm with that I cant imagine wanting a 2nd.

There is some autistic angle to polyamoury because we look at relationships in a different way.
And I can not live together anyway.
If you are able to ban jealous thoughts from your system because you realize it's just a bunch of negative feelings and insecurity. And you find monogamy are restrictions you put on yourself in order to restrict your partner.
It can be done but it will be difficult keeping it strait (honest) and other people telling you it can't be done.
I find it easiest to keep it one on one though. But it's good to share different things with diferrent partners.

I wouldn't mind being in a poly relationship but when getting involved with more than one gf it can lead to more complications. I would worry about about one getting jealous of the other due to attention time and such so have to equally distribute the attention to both to ensure both get equal attention doing so requires extra energy.

Last edited by AspieOtaku on 28 Feb 2015, 1:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I value faithfulness.

So do poly people. Really, the only difference between monogamy and polyamory is the amount of people involved. There's still no lowdown cheating on any of the partners. However, you can introduce a boyfriend or girlfriend in the mix directly.

There is actually no room for (white) lies in a threesome and that's another link to autism; we (the autists) find it difficult to lie.

You mean polygamy?

Polyamory is very interesting. I know I can handle it myself, but I've only tried it with imaginary relationships. That's as far as I'm likely to take it.

I find the whole "one" concept incomprehensible.The idea of deliberatly seeking exclusivity seems crazy to me.