Confused?!

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I'm back with more typical high school social confusion. Oh boy, where to begin? Well, the girl I like might be considering the thought of going out with me, she's been nicer to me than usual lately. So, when summer comes I'll ask her out.
BUT, someone else likes me. Well, I think so. She sticks up for me in a class we share, but we've never had a conversation before. Lately, the choir has been rehersing for a musical . We're doing a concert performance of "The Pirates of Penzance". She and I are both pirates, and lately, she's been paying a bit more attention to me than usual during rehersal. I honestly don't know what to do. If you want more details, just ask.

So, that's my story. I have the girl (who I'm friends with) I like who might go out when school is over, and I have the girl who might like me who I've never talked to before. Any advice? Please no BS advice, like:
"If someone likes you, they'll tell you" or
"True love *blah*, true love *blah*"

BTW, I know I probably spelt "rehersal" wrong.

rehearsal.


go for the girl who is your friend already.

that is my take. just go slowly and stretch that perseverating nature out!

I think you're more likely to be able to form a relationship with someone who has 'problems' too, that make them less desirable to others. I think our choices are more limited in this area, so go for someone who also has limited choices.

Ick. I disagree with this advice for many reasons:

(1) Just because someone else has a mental or physical defect does not automatically make them "easy". If you're not their type then you're not their type. You would be insulting them to assume/suggest that you're the best person they could ever hope to date.

(2) It insults the rest of us to suggest that being an Aspie makes you an unsuitable partner for a "normal" person.

(3) A realtionship built on a basis of mutual desperation isn't likely be stable in the long term. First there's the real risk that someone better could come along and get between you. Then there's the risk that jealousy and insecurity will haunt the relationship and you'll never really trust each other because the relationship is built on convenience instead of mutual attraction. Finally, even if you do manage to find someone using these tactics, what are the chances that you'll end up just as unhappy inside the relationship as you were outside the relationship?

I knew you'd disagree with me Jetson. I expect that.

ME: I think you're more likely to be able to form a relationship with someone who has 'problems' too, that make them less desirable to others. I think our choices are more limited in this area, so go for someone who also has limited choices.

YOU: Ick. I disagree with this advice for many reasons:
(1) Just because someone else has a mental or physical defect does not automatically make them "easy". If you're not their type then you're not their type. You would be insulting them to assume/suggest that you're the best person they could ever hope to date.

ME: The word 'easy' has a number of unpleasant connotations, I didn't use that word. The rest of it is your interpretaton of what I wrote, which doesn't necessarily reflect my intentions or my meaning.

YOU: (2) It insults the rest of us to suggest that being an Aspie makes you an unsuitable partner for a "normal" person.

ME: Jetson, as you recently said to ghosthunter, 'no-one can make you feel inferior without your permission'. If you found this insulting that is your interpretation. There's also possibly a notion in your response that you feel NTs are a 'superior' type of person which is why you may have felt insulted. I don't regard NTs as a 'superior' type of person and an NT would be the last type of person I would want to form a relationship with. I can't get far enough away from them most of the time and I don't want to deal with their emotional or social demands in a relationship. They'd have to beg me (and some of them have) but I know what would be involved in such a relationship and it doesn't appeal to me.

YOU: (3) A realtionship built on a basis of mutual desperation isn't likely be stable in the long term. First there's the real risk that someone better could come along and get between you.

ME: I didn't use the term 'mutual desperation' and it wasn't my intent to imply that a couple of people with 'problems' must be mutually desperate or that the relationship is formed out of mutual desperation. I think the risk of someone 'better' coming alone is far higher in relationships between a NT and a disabled person. So I disagree with you on that point, although what we would think of as a 'better' person is obviously quite different.

YOU: Then there's the risk that jealousy and insecurity will haunt the relationship and you'll never really trust each other because the relationship is built on convenience instead of mutual attraction.
Finally, even if you do manage to find someone using these tactics, what are the chances that you'll end up just as unhappy inside the relationship as you were outside the relationship?

Same as with any relationship I imagine!

Jetson, you are reading far more into what I wrote than is actually there, or intended. I think the basis of the disagreement is that you regard NTs as 'superior' people and I don't. I'm quite used to you disagreeing with everything I write.