Exes moving so forward while you're not?

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The_Face_of_Boo
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03 Apr 2015, 2:45 pm

By moving forward I mean moving forward relationship wise.

I was contacted today by a woman that I had a sexual relationship with more than 3 years ago, I've even had a thread about her here back in 2012, it was a short-lived short term that ended with problems with her notorious clan family(known for weed trade). We did have feelings toward each other tho.

I didn't recognize her at first as she got newly veiled, she turned out that she got married for while and has a newborn baby too and even living abroad . Turned out she escaped, leaving behind her clan family behind and got married later with some muslim American, estimating the timeline of things, and kept contact with her family at minimum, I figured this happened somehow not much after our break up; she came here few days ago to temporarily visit family.

I said hello back but kept things very distant, and I've ended the conversation with something like "Congrats for everything, may life treats you well".

She's 5 years younger than me and ironically I recall well she kept telling me she's so anti-marriage and that she'll never wanting to get married and having family, and my response was always teasingly "those who say that a lot always get married first" and it drove her crazy. When we broke up, we cut all contact and never heard back again from her ever since.

And here I am, after 3 years, she's married, she got a baby, while I didn't progress much since my encounter with her, I've always also witnessed the same progress with another girl on fb.

Have you ever had this experience to know about some ex moved light-speed relationship wise while you're still a sitting single duck? Not a nice feeling to be honest.



Uprising
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04 Apr 2015, 11:18 am

Seems like she missed you a lot. :P :wink:



sly279
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04 Apr 2015, 6:00 pm

I'd imagine exs getting other relationships/family while you don't is quite normal for us aspies. we were probably lucky to have a shot with the ex, while to them likely just another relationship in their long list.



bungleton
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05 Apr 2015, 4:36 am

All of my exes are in long-term relationships/married now, the majority of them with the guy they met/started seeing when they were with me... Eh *shrug*

Funnily enough, I caught up with a female friend yesterday (who I think would make a good partner; she's an Aspie also, we were diagnosed around the same time. I guess the decision's hers to make, as she's quite reserved...) and was sitting on a park bench in a scenic though pretty random spot in a state park, when my ex and the guy she left me for/starting rooting while she was dating me three years ago walked past.
It didn't phase me much which is good as she completely destroyed me. Thankfully I've moved on mentally somewhat from that relationship, though it did leave me with absolutely zero trust in anyone. On the other hand, it was only as a result of that pain that I found the resolve to quit drinking.

Unrelated I know, but I found it funny :P


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886
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06 Apr 2015, 4:13 am

I wouldn't know because I don't keep tabs with any of my exes in any capacity.. I couldn't possibly care less what any of them are up to, nothing to gain by doing so. :|


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ConcreteDinosaur
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06 Apr 2015, 5:31 am

Probably best not to pay too much attention to what your ex's are doing. People move at different paces. She may have decided marriage works with that guy, even if generally she's not that into it. Marriage isn't all that important, just enjoy what's going on in your life, and the things you want to do.



nomoretears
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06 Apr 2015, 7:02 am

This has more or less been the story of my dating life.

Most of the time it will take me 2 or 3 years to get a relationship. It takes most people a few months. Also, many people date the next bf or gf while they are still in a relationship aka cheating.

I feel like im the pit stop before they move on to commitment.

It doesnt always work out. One ex was stabbed by the woman he left me for. Thats right, stabbed!



rdos
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06 Apr 2015, 12:37 pm

I don't think it has. Well, maybe once in high-school, but that wasn't very serious. At least one of them are still single, and the others didn't get involved in anybody else for quite some time.

That's another advantage of not involving in traditional dating. :mrgreen:



hurtloam
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06 Apr 2015, 2:31 pm

Well, I haven't technically had any boyfriends other than one when I was in my late teens, but pretty much all of the men who I have had feelings for apart from two are in long term relationships or are married now.

Yes, I feel like my life was standing still in comparison for a while until I started moving along with my career. Although, that isn't the same thing at all. This sums it upImage



The_Face_of_Boo
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07 Apr 2015, 3:02 am

Oh don't remind me of crushes...

I had a crush who had 2 bfs, got few encounters in between, then she got married with the third bf, ....... while I am sill here during all that :lol:.

Sigh, to be honest, I am so hopeless.